I had a baby with my ex, unplanned a couple of years in. He was adamant he wanted kids with me but not yet. He eventually stepped up to being a day around 18 months in. We got back together (I know, I don’t know why). He said he absolutely wanted more kids, was a great dad to our child and kept saying next year next year. I reached late 30s and said it’s now or never and he said he wouldn’t accept an ultimatum. I then ended it. This was 4 years since he promised he wanted more children.
I still feel sad and confused about it all. I ended it in June and haven’t met anyone. Haven’t really been trying. Just feel so sad that I gave up so much of my life to him. I can see now looking back that he was never going to have dc with me and probably wouldn’t have had our first if it hadn’t been an accident. It’s ok for him, he can go off and have more children in years to come. I can’t. I don’t know how to move on from it.