I don’t think I’m BU but what the fuck do I do now

If he's taking it during the working day then I'd assume he's addicted. Imagine it was alcohol - if someone needed a swig of neat vodka at lunchtime to get through the day we'd all agree they are an alcoholic. Getting high on coke isn't like having a pint with lunch, he's almost certainly using regularly and there is a stash hidden in your home.
Check the local drugs laws and child custody laws and start making plans to get back to the UK ASAP. Life will be much worse if he gets arrested or loses his job and your still stuck abroad. Maybe come back to the UK for Christmas with him then refuse to leave?

Really common in banking - like affairs, taking clients to strip clubs - I live somewhere where many women are married to bankers. I had a friend whose husband was a coke head in banking - 2 affairs - she stayed and has a nice lifestyle. I think her husband stopped but it put her through a lot.

I'd be more concerned about the long hours he does. Do you get any support from him? Does he have to work that long? How would coke even help with stress anyway? Its a pick me up drug.

If you read my previous posts I have experience with cocaine. I’ve spent many hours with police, social workers and drug counsellors so I know more than a lot of people unfortunately.

That's part of the problem - people think they're experts after a quick Google search

A quick google will soon tell you otherwise.

Cocaine is believed to be psychologically addictive like gambling, not physically addictive like alcohol, tobacco or heroin.

Do you have a good support network back in the UK, do you have your own savings?

If so I would be asking him if you and baby can go on holiday to the UK ( get approval to leave the country you are in ) and never go back. Coke in the day when you have a young child is something I would be sprinting far away from

For OP and others, some information.

Easy overview of cocaine chemistry, risks and dependence:
https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/mental-illnesses-and-mental-health-problems/cocaine-dependence

Detailed discussion "The Neurobiology of Cocaine Addiction" (2005):
pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2851032/

Irrelevant. He’s doing it at home during thr work day. This will only get worse.

This is rubbish.
Coke is physically addictive. It ruins lives.

If he’s taking it in the day, without alcohol (dry sniffing) he has a serious problem. You say you didn’t see any signs, this means he’s gone way beyond it being fo recreational use, he’s a functioning addict. It alters the way people think, making them far more likely to engage in risky behaviour.

I say this as someone who has done a LOT of research into this disgusting drug over the last few months, after my (now ex) absolutely blew our lives apart because of it. He left me pregnant and in debt due to his habit and is now on bail and no longer able to see his children. I had NO idea he was even taking it as he was so far beyond using occasionally. I’m not naive and know the signs and he had none. Because addicts lie, they cover their tracks. Especially coke addicts who will do anything for it.

It wont be easy but I’d be finding a way to get out of his life.
Forcing him to get help won’t do anything unless he wants to. Even losing his whole family hasn’t stopped my ex and he now blames the police saying he’s stressed because of them. I hope for the sake of his children he stops but honestly don’t see it happening.

Secrets keep you sick.
his drug of choice is costing him more than money, his relationship, his child and possibly his job. He is in denial

Sorry, but this is absolute bollocks. Whether cocaine is ‘like heroin’ is besides the point.
The guy is snorting coke during a working day! Someone who drinks at home or during the working day ‘because they’re stressed’ is an alcoholic. Someone who snorts coke in those circumstances has got a serious fucking drug problem.

Just because recreational cocaine has become ‘mainstream acceptable’ in some circles doesn’t mean cocaine isn’t a highly problematic drug.

And of course it’s addictive. I have known many cokeheads over the years.

OP, I’m not a judgemental person and did shitloads of drugs in my youth, but if I found out the father of my tiny baby was snorting coke in the house during the day, there would be no conversation. I’d be gone. Fuck that for a game of laughs. He’s a prick.

I understand you are shocked, and it sounds like you have a surprisingly small amount of knowledge, let alone experience, around illegal drugs, so you are very confused. And some of the posts on this thread may not be helping.

There is no evidence here that he is addicted, though obviously he could be. Coke isn't physically addictive in the way that some other drugs are - however, obviously users can become emotionally dependant on it if they use it enough.

It can cause some people to be verbally aggressive, in rare cases physically aggressive, but from that point of view I would infinitely rather date a coke user than someone who drinks alcohol to any significant extent. Alcohol has the much more deleterious impact on behaviour in my experience.

Coke may well be very common among his circle if he works in a highly paid, high pressure job.

Don't panic. Talk to him and find out more. Do some research (not on here - there is a lot of panic on here about illegal drugs, while heavy drinking is on some threads almost saluted).

Your friend is scare-mongering in saying it's a "gateway to heroin", anymore than drink is, or any other substance. The majority of coke users do not eventually become smack-heads.

Good luck.

You know what’s weird about this if that in my generation it was in such and in crowd thing to go. do. Pretty scary but cocaine has a minimal damage innyour body unless you’re addicted. Problem is is that is not. Mixing with fentanl, methanfetamine is highly addictive. Drugs. Don’t blame it on cocaine

Are you on glue? Yes, buying illegal drugs is just like shopping at Primark. There are a lot of stupid comments on this site but this one must be in the top ten in the last 15 years.

if he is doing coke in the day time at home he has a problem. cost depends how much he is using. i can guarantee. it makes anyone who uses it a liar and a cheat and most often than not aggressive/violent. they will always down play how much they are taking, its a very hard drug to give up, are you willing to put your child at risk with him doing it at home, you say you cannot leave but i would really consider making a plan to get out should you need to ( keep it to yourself and don't leave anything traceable ie emails etc that he could see)

Bollocks.

It’s also a very expensive drug so where’s the coming from

Only menally. It’s not addictive.i he mixed ir amphetamines then it’s addictive

I’ve known of two youngish people who dropped dead of heart attacks thanks to that vile stuff.

I’d be furious that it was in my house, especially with a baby around.

Stressed at work, my foot. Have a cup of tea and a biscuit then. Not a line off your kitchen worktop, Jesus.

Never trust a druggie. They lie and lie and lie.

It's not a step away from heroin. For one thing, cocaine's a stimulant while heroin's a soporific.

It is possible to be addicted to coke - I worked in a different industry with a similar substance abuse profile - and, assuming users can afford their habit, the worst thing that normally happens is they start getting very bad-tempered and paranoid. I'm not downplaying that, it's unpleasant, and persistent use can lead to nasty physical problems like a collapsed nose, heart attack, brain bleeds and more.

Everyone I know through work stopped using as they got older. They just stopped; no difficult withdrawals or anything. However, everyone I knew through rehab did not stop coke. I suppose the difference could be a combination of doing it entirely by choice and being an 'addictive personality'.

Very difficult for you, OP, especially that he's been concealing it from you. Can't advise on the leaving from a foreign country, other than stressing the importance of finding out what your legal situation is as a wife and mother there.

I’ve had a lot of friends who’ve used drugs over the years. Some ruined their health and their relationships and one OD’d and died. Your DH is using a class A drug alone by himself at home during the working day. He’s an addict 100%.

From my understanding and experience of cocaine when I was much younger, when someone reaches the point of using cocaine when they are sober, alone and during the working day, they are addicted.

On a scale of cocaine use I’d say it goes from people who only take it if they’re offered in a social setting, to people who actively seek in out in a social setting, to people who buy it regularly for socialising… then there’s those who do it by themselves. Always a bad sign, but by themselves during the working day? Awful.

I know many people who take / have taken coke. Trust me when I say that he has a problem. I’d run for the hills.