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Sending flowers to work

27 replies

needsalotterywin · 31/10/2025 16:43

Just curious about other peoples thoughts on something that's happened today.
I love my DH but he is quite possibly the most inherently lazy man I have ever known! I do everything at home, cleaning, washing, bins, lawn-mowing etc etc. Before anyone jumps on me and says "you shouldn't allow this" or "LTB", I already know all that - that's a whole other post for another day! The point of this post is that, once in a Blue moon, he will buy me some flowers "just because"- I'm talking once or twice a year at the most and despite me telling him several times in the past that I don't like receiving them at work (I find it a bit cringey if it's not a special occasion), he has today, sent a bunch to my place of work (been here 14 months and this is the first time). Now, of course, my boss and colleagues all think he is some kind of god and that I'm a "lucky lady". Little do they know, he is also as far from romantic as you can get on a day-to-day basis! Do you think men do this on purpose to create a illusion in front of others or am I simply overthinking a nice gesture? He will also, undoubtedly expect a lot of thanks, back-patting and praise for this when I get home (I have sent a thank you text) and although, yes, it's nice to receive some flowers, I'd much rather you get off your arse and do your share towards the running of OUR home!!!! For a bit of context, he is close to mid 50's and I am late 40's, no kids at home (grown up and moved in with partners).

OP posts:
FaceBothered · 31/10/2025 16:50

It's so performative, it's cringy.

But after everything you've told us about him, it's clear he doesn't care about you or your feelings anyway.

Don't feel as though you have to automatically thank anyone for doing something you've explicitly asked them not to do.

SoScarletItWas · 31/10/2025 16:47

Given that you’ve told him that you don’t like receiving flowers at work, it is irritating and doesn’t consider what you want.

He could just as easily buy some and present them to you at home with a bottle of wine as the flowers were cheaper than Interflora, but I am tight like that.

I do think there’s a performative element actually.

I don’t like getting flowers at all but my DH knows this so gives me better ‘just because’ surprises.