To not agree to pretend to my company that I don’t know what a man or woman is?

Another couple of options to throw into the mix:

Compliant: write up your notes as normal then ask AI to change it all to neutral pronouns.

Malicious compliance: Depending on the people you're asking you might be able to have some fun. "The company wants me to check everyone's pronouns and use them in my notes - I've heard some people have come up with funny ones like fed/up or drama/llama" if they play along I'm sure the company would get fed up.

In the UK, employers cannot legally force employees to use specific pronouns if doing so conflicts with their protected beliefs. Under the Equality Act 2010. This means your employer must respect your philosophical or religious beliefs, as long as you act professionally and do not harass or intimidate colleagues.

OP I’d be considering the purpose of the note taking, and the benefit to clients in whether to challenge this.

Is accuracy of the notes something that might be depended on in court?

How important is a clear understanding to the purpose of the notes?

Do the clients see the notes? Could they be confused or worried by misunderstandings in their notes?

You’ll presumably have to comply with SOPs, but I’d be asking who benefits from the change, and who is disadvantaged (if anyone) by it.

If you can demonstrate that there is little benefit and potential harm then You will have a more effective challenge.

This must be least informed, most incompetent and least busy HR department in the country.

I’m astonished that they actually called an employee to their office, in person, to demand something this must know they cannot in law compel you to provide.

Surely they have other things to be doing.

Totally agree. I’m sick of all of it. Them/they grammatically to me means more than one person for a start off. I’m a woman, a female, a mother, I breastfed, the list goes on. I would never in a million use tolerate being referred to as a ‘chest feeding person’ either. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I always find these questions so disingenuous, as if Mumsnet is going to come out and say "No, using they is fine. Pronouns don't matter." Anyone who has been on here more than 5 minutes knows they will be told the ANBU

Id definitely ask the client and (as you're looking to move on) make it clear why.

"Dave, the powers that be want me to check what your pronouns are"

Best case, is that Dave asks to go by "she/her".

I agree the easiest option is just to minimise pronouns altogether. Bullet points can help -

‘JP stated -
concerned about internet access
will contact helpline if needed.

MA stated -

• episode now complete
• referring on to service X.’

Plan
-MA to refer pt to service X
-Discharge’

This is excellent! I also agree that I, as a woman, wish to be referred to as 'she' and not 'they', and that I would feel my identity is being eroded by this.

I would assume either:

You don’t know whether your postie is male or female
You don’t know whether your doctor is male or female

Or that you are using plural pronouns to prove a point or conceal their sex for some obscure reason.

Surely if you disobey a direct order you will be disciplined? 'They' and 'them' are often used as a third person singular pronouns.

It does sound a bit silly, but it isn't a hill I would die on either.

I have definitely had names I wasn't sure about in the past; unisex shortenings like Sam and Alex for example and also names with which I am just not familiar.

I just got round it by changing my wording. Didn't need to use they / them. Tbh, some people could take umbridge at being made into a they / them, so it is more polite (to me) to avoid pronouns altogether where possible.

God I hate this kind of rubbish, you are male or female, end of, if you want to identify as a tree or a rabbits arsehole that’s up to you, but you are still male or female

@Megifer trouble with that is the ‘Stated…’ sentence ends up not being clear whether it is JP who stated it or the professional in the meeting.

I do use neutral pronouns much more than I used to, it is a compromise I’m very willing to make (though I will also use preferred pronouns if provided which I know not all will). However, I will not compromise on clarity so if I’m in a meeting of more than two people clarity may require using sex-based pronouns (though I don’t assume it will).

I’m not going to proactively ask people what pronouns they use because I work with people with aphasia (language problems) and it would be a huge increase in the cognitive demand on them plus a waste of their time. My profession is all in on this nonsense but at the moment I am still able to exercise my professional judgment.

I would use your judgment and, if you read someone else’s note where the use of neutral pronouns means you are not sure what happened, ask them about what they meant.

Im not sure that it is outside the realms of possibility, otherwise it would be a non issue. If it was me, I'd quietly seeth at the lunacy but comply nevertheless as they employ you to do a job and to do it how they want it done.

I'd tell them it does not align with my religious beliefs which are a protected characteristic under the Equality Act. Trans ideology is not a protected characteristic and if they would like to discuss it in an employment tribunal for constructive dismissal, I'd be happy to oblige and hand in my notice.

I really struggle to get upset about this issue any more

You're not supposed to do this, because what if they're not ready to share? And now you're forcing them to publicly declare...

It's all bullshit

I hadn’t realised this was a thing but read several emails this week from a (20 something, male) colleague saying things like ‘Emily didn’t attend their interview today’, this could be why.

Their logic is flawed, as you'd have to check EVERY SINGLE TIME.

What if you asked 5 years ago,and in the meantime they'd changed their mind?

I agree- its fcking ridiculous.

I personally do NOT WANT to be referred to as them. I want to be defined as female so how on earth is this not a discriminatory rule?

@Agix Your postie example is jarring if you name the postie Susan or Dave.

Logically it’s silly. Grammatically it can and does make sense, but that doesn’t mean you should do it.