Parent messaged me to complain about DH

unlikely given she did message

this is one where two things can simultaneously be true - the mother probably given the ages is overreacting but also it is an inappropriate comment by the DH as well and could have made him feel uncomfortable particularly given the implication they were watching it together

THIS 👆

I think that's funny. They need to get a sense of humour. I'd ignore them and leave them to their clenching.

Deeply inappropriate. The dad sounds a sleaze. Embarrassing for the young lads 🤮

I would respond, as much as something is very wrong here that a 17 year old would run home and tell mummy this and she’d complain, it is their dynamic and you both need to be aware there is issues here with this lad. He clearly told his mother for a reason. Maybe as he felt uncomfortable.

personally I’d apologise, it is a crass thing to say anyway, and I’d simply text back and say no problem, no offence meant, just a silly joke, hope all is ok.

Exactly. All these cool girls banging on about how prudish the mum is are totally missing the point. Who wants to be married to someone who associates any mention of the internet with porn?

Or D.-.he thought it was funny so relayed the joke to his mum.
I would completely ignore. They're 17, soon to be down the pub.

Why is she complaining to you? Are you the boss of him? Give her his number, he can be accountable for his actions.

Yes, quite innappropriate, and very typical for some middle aged men sadly.

I used to know a man in his mid 50s, (in my place of work at the time, some 12 years ago,) who always had to make stupid, rude, suggestive innuendo, often to the younger women. He thought he was hilarious, as the younger women just used to sort of half laugh.

They did this because they were embarrassed, not because they thought he was funny, and this one time one of them complained to HR about him, and he got a written warning. His wife was so incensed that he had had a warning for making suggestive remarks to young women, that she ended up leaving him. He left the workplace only a couple of months after, as he felt so embarrassed. Thought he was so funny and popular, but most people just thought he was a rude, repulsive, sex pest, and found him repugnant.

Your husband needs to grow up @Yogaretreat23 and you need to stop being his apologist. With him saying weird shit like this to teenage boys, fuck knows what he's saying to women when you're not there. He sounds grim.

.

How are you responsible for what your DH said? Send her his number and say tell him yourself

Another man whose brains are stuck in his dick. I am so tired of reading about these gross, inappropriate ‘geezers’.

Just ignore her. Doesn’t warrant a response. I can’t believe a 17 year old would even mention that to his mum.

Ugh. Your DH is a creep.

Exactly. How odd that his first comment about the Wi-Fi going down was that?

I think it's far more likely that he wasn't at all uncomfortable. "Haha, guess what friend's dad said".

She can't control when and if anyone makes reference to potential availability of pictures of naked women to a seventeen year old.

Gawd I feel sorry for the lad. How chronically embarrassing. But then again why did he tell his mum? Maybe it's cringe but it's not age inappropriate. He's not seven! And it was clearly a joke.

I guess to keep the peace just say 'sorry, it does sound a bit vulgar.' And leave it at that. If you tell your DH he'll probably laugh and mock her. As would your son. Not to her face obviously.

Sorry but this made me actually laugh out loud 🤣

OP, if I was the other parent I wouldn’t have texted you - they are 17! but it’s interesting the ds went back to his mum and told her. I would think your dh is a bit creepy and feel sad that he made my ds feel uncomfortable (if he did) I hope your dh wouldn’t make any comments like that to any girlfriends (or boyfriends) your ds bring home

Urgh. I may not have text you, but I certainly would think your husband is a creep.

Maybe the friends mum messaged to make a point to her son, that casual misogyny should be called out.

Top shelf magazines are no 'grubbier' than internet porn (in fact, often a lot less grubby content-wise). Teens won't have them hidden away in their bedrooms because they can just press a button and access hardcore porn at their leisure. Let's stop hand wringing about dirty old men. Today's version is no better.

The lad must have felt really uncomfortable to tell his parents, what was your DH thinking saying that? I’m cringing on his behalf.

Wasn’t it more that the suggestion is that they were both watching porn (potentially together) and the fact the wifi was down meant they needed to a non online route

which I think is inappropriate even at 17 given the inference they were watching it together could have made them feel uncomfortable

look the truth is for the mum to know about it the 17 year old would have had to have mentioned it which ultimately means either

(a) he didn’t understand it and asked
(b) he did and it made him uncomfortable
(C) if he didn’t know then he did and it did make him uncomfortable

They're 17?!

Christ, I thought you were going to say they were 11 or something.

The parent who complained is being utterly ridiculous.

Tell her to ring him herself, you're not his keeper/Mummy...

It's a vulgar and daft comment, which he thought would be funny - its significantly better than what a friends Dad said to me once..

We were about 18/19 - at friends bands gig in a pub. Friends Dad comes up to sit with us and leans in and says 'hey... would you like a good screw?!' and as my face went to 'WTF!'... he hands me a brass wood screw out of his pocket.

I said 'that is a very good screw Kevin but you keep it'... told my Mum though and she was absolutely disgusted I had to stop her from ringing him up and yelling at him!

I had known him a long time, he genuinely turned up in his work gear and likely found the screw in his pocket and thought 'ahahaha this will be funny' - but it was a vulgar and stupid joke to make, which is why I've never forgotten it out of all the conversations we've had that I have undoubtedly lost to the mists of time!

I mean, it's a bit Jay's dad from The Inbetweeners, cringy more than anything else. I second sending her your husband's number and telling her to take it up with him directly.

Would a teen know what he was even referring to these days? I’m guessing a young child wouldn’t get it at all,