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Original poster

Parent messaged me to complain about DH

268 replies

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 14:38

This is a strange one. DS had his friend round on Tuesday, they were mainly just playing video games upstairs. They came downstairs and DS started to moan that the Wi-Fi was down.

DH said he’d need to ‘go for the old school approach and grab a top shelf magazine from the corner shop’ and DS just laughed it off.

The next day, his friends mum has messaged me to say she doesn’t appreciate DH making inappropriate comments in front of her son.

I’ve ignored it…but am now overthinking whether I should have replied to clarify nothing was said to her son?

Edited to add both 17yo

OP posts:
Anyahyacinth · 31/10/2025 15:44

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

Son's friend is only going to find trades a shock if things don't change, be good if things did change though...and that starts with our personal behaviours doesnt it?
Maybe the other Mum hopes for women to be able to work in trades and not be harassed with this crap.
The suggestion she is uptight and needs a magazine to orgasm and relax is just pitiful...people who orgasm freely don't need pictures 😉

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 31/10/2025 15:44

I imagine that the OP's ds was incredibly embarrassed. Assuming, that is, that he isn't a misogynistic twat like his dad.

tuvamoodyson · 31/10/2025 15:44

HelenaWaiting · 31/10/2025 15:25

Why has she complained to you? Tell her to complain to your DH. You're not his mother. It's frankly ridiculous of her to complain to you.

Probably only had mum’s number 🤷‍♀️

Tiswa · 31/10/2025 15:43

the DH still comes across as a misogynist twat though with the comments he is making even if the friend probably wasn’t that offended

but given he has now said the mum needs the magazine is he implying the son and friend are gay? as that means the magazine is of men and he was implying they were watching porn together

or he is stupid and can’t quite work it all out

noworklifebalance · 31/10/2025 15:43

AgnesX · 31/10/2025 15:40

Old school and tacky definitely. At 17 the boy's hardly likely to be traumatised though. There's a good bit of pearl clutching going on.

Not sure how many 17yo boys are comfortable when their mate’s dad makes jokes about masturbating over naked women’s images (usually very very young women).

Howmanycatsistoomany · 31/10/2025 15:43

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

Poor lad is going to get eaten alive if he can't handle a comment like that. Is mummy going to fight all his battles?

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 31/10/2025 15:43

I think it was weird for the mum to contact you, given the ages of your DS and his friend.

But your H sounds like a complete arse with a really shit sense of humour.

beAsensible1 · 31/10/2025 15:42

saying something is "a joke" doesn't absolve it from being weird or inappropriate for certain settings. some things are for mixed company and some are for friends / family.

I'd argue that your childs friend is not the best company to be making sex jokes about. He is an adult, maybe if more people told these men and their grim jokes to pipe down, you wouldn't have so many stories of middle aged men doing their shit lewd comedy routines in the office.

dynamiccactus · 31/10/2025 15:42

I wonder why the friend's mum thinks you are responsible for your DH's comments? Why not contact him?

BuckChuckets · 31/10/2025 15:42

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

You're obviously just used to being married to someone so grim.

If that were my son, we'd probably have a laugh and a conversation about how gross his mate's parents are, and avoid being around you. Hopefully your son doesn't suffer, though, with his peers distancing themselves because they find his dad gross and embarrassing.

Zov · 31/10/2025 15:42

Blimey @Vivi0 calm down.

InSpainTheRain · 31/10/2025 15:41

Your husband sounds vulgar, I think it's completely inappropriate to speak like that however old the intended recipient of the comment is. It would really put me off him if my husband spoke like that.

As for the woman messaging you, I'd add in DH to the chat and say something like "DH, please respond, your issue not mine".

Zov · 31/10/2025 15:41

Livpool · 31/10/2025 15:40

Exactly what I am thinking. He is 17 - he needs to learn if he doesn’t appreciate a comment, he needs to raise it and not run to mummy!

Edited
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🙄

Vivi0 · 31/10/2025 15:41

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 31/10/2025 15:37

He/she was "demeaning" first if that's your definition. I'm happy with my standards and sorry yours are so low.

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You don’t even know me, or what I think. You certainly have no idea what my standards are.

Again, just so demeaning.

I called you out on the disgusting way you spoke to a woman on this thread because she disagreed with you.

You have had lots to say about the comment the DH in the OP made, but yet you seem perfectly entitled to make your own disgusting comments.

You’re no better, really.

Zov · 31/10/2025 15:41

thisishowloween · 31/10/2025 15:38

It was my opinion.

Just like you're giving yours constantly

HTH.

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And you are also giving YOUR opinions constantly.

Kettle, the pot is calling you........... Wink

It's a chat forum, where people chat and give opinions and views.

HTH dear.

Livpool · 31/10/2025 15:40

TwoTuesday · 31/10/2025 14:45

Good grief what a little Lord Fauntleroy the friend is, tattling to his mummy at 17.

Exactly what I am thinking. He is 17 - he needs to learn if he doesn’t appreciate a comment, he needs to raise it and not run to mummy!

CherryBlossom321 · 31/10/2025 15:40

“Hi X’s mum. If you feel you need a conversation about this, DH’s number is 07#########. I wasn’t, and am not involved.”

AgnesX · 31/10/2025 15:40

Old school and tacky definitely. At 17 the boy's hardly likely to be traumatised though. There's a good bit of pearl clutching going on.

Anyahyacinth · 31/10/2025 15:39

Making a joke about porn to his son and his friend...to what point? To seem cool? To put a sexual spin on them hanging out together? It sounds disrespectful to women and creepy...implying something about his son and friend...overall yuck

Tiswa · 31/10/2025 15:39

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

Yeah your DH is a twat

PigletIsWorried · 31/10/2025 15:39

Weird and gross comment to make. You and your DH obviously think it's funny though so do you really care if others find you crass?

PastaAllaNorma · 31/10/2025 15:39

Revolting comment by your husband, and unpleasant assumption. The visiting teen was sufficiently offput that he mentioned it to his parents.

I can't see the point in messaging you to complain. But I'd agree with her that your husband sounds like a creepy perv.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 31/10/2025 15:39

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

So fingers crossed this person’s son is a true grown up, and there’ll be one extra non-misogynistic voice in these male dominated professions.

thisishowloween · 31/10/2025 15:38

Zov · 31/10/2025 15:37

You don't get to make that decision. That it's not worth getting worked up over. This didn't happen to you, or one of your teenage children.

HTH.

.

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It was my opinion.

Just like you're giving yours constantly

HTH.

Zov · 31/10/2025 15:38

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 31/10/2025 15:37

He/she was "demeaning" first if that's your definition. I'm happy with my standards and sorry yours are so low.

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100% this. ^

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