Parent messaged me to complain about DH

They were definitely on sale at least as recently as 2007 when I worked in a newsagents and had the pleasure of putting them out on the stands. 2 sorts of customers for them - men 40yrs+ and mums buying them for their 15yrs old - grim.

He might not know. He might be mortified she did.

Maybe, but to have your mum message the other mum regarding what was said?!?! I would have been utterly mortified if my mum did that!

Why would you find it odd? Hypothetically I could have said , had a nice time at friends. He could have said yes, friends dad’s a bit weird though, wifi was down so he said get a top shelf mag instead. I’d have said, charming. And thought friend’s dad was crass. I feel lucky that my son and I talk so easily with each other. I wouldn’t have texted the mum though.

Sorry, do you mean you find the mum texting odd, not the mum and son having a chat. Yes my son would not be happy about that.

I think both things can be true.

The mother should not have texted. 17 is pretty old and it’s pointless.
The husband here is a misogynistic creep.

I don’t necessarily think the boy went telling tales and was upset, he just probably told his mum in passing what a slimeball his friend’s father is.

People keep saying this but don’t you think it’s very different if you are with friends /work colleagues versus your friend’s dad?
I think the comment is grim whatever the context but really weird when said by your friend’s dad.

Same. At 17, it’s not really expected for a parent to police what they’re hearing (mainly because it’s not possible). Your job at that age is to have a conversation about why those things don’t align with your values and then let young people make their own choices.

Maybe they were chatting and he commented on his friend’s dad and his stupid/creepy jokes. You don’t know the context but he might have just been retelling what happened.

Yeah I find that really odd.

I would have told my son that the comment was super cringe, but I would never in a million years have contacted the other parents - how embarrassing for the son!!

Probably one with a good relationship with his parents such that he can talk about these things?

ETA: like I said in my previous post, he probably won’t talk anymore more if he finds out about the text

FFS they are 17 not under 10. Not the sort of thing my ex or partner would say, but I would just think of it as a bit of crude humour.
She really needs to get a sense of proportion or a reality check. She may not like it, but to text you is very embarrassing for the son.
Trust me if he is going to do a trade the banter will be very ribold. Is she going to text his boss then? He won't last long if that is the case. Also he will learn not to tell her anything.

Me and my son talk about loads of things. He could very possibly have said guess what friend’s dad said to us. I wouldn’t have texted the mum. I would have thought the dad was vulgar though.

Oh wow. He is a true misogynist. Lucky you.

You mean dads can joke about girlie magazines to his son and friends but not joke about them to a daughter and her friend? If so, why?

Yes…probably just fired a text off in the heat of the moment🤷‍♀️ who knows?

@Yogaretreat23 it's a bit of a cringe comment to make.

BUT... OMG what sort of 17 year old goes and repeats something like that to his mum?!??!? That's just really weird.

As a tall kid I promise you they were very much there in the 90s and 00s. I used to think 'if I have to see rude things at least make them something aimed at me?'

why is everyone acting like context and environment don't matter for these things.

If he thinks she needs access to one of those mags is it because he thinks she’s uptight. Is he one of those knobs that think ‘uptight’ women just need a good seeing to as well?

If they did top shelf versions of Archive Of Our Own slash fiction then maybe

And it is always the person that calls it out that is the problem - usually belittled in some way to shut them down….e.g. running back to mummy (to quote a few on this thread)

It's almost as if boys/girls (men/women) are different......

Maybe I am the only one that thinks that it’s a good thing that this friend can talk/joke/complain to his mum about this kind of thing.
I do think the mum shouldn’t have texted to complain (he may not talk to her about things again).
Usually people like this have no insight and think it’s witty banter, lads chat but it’s the base of the misogyny pyramid. And no, just because it is widely available on the internet and there is much worse out there, it doesn’t make this any more acceptable. It’s just so prevalent that many think it is normal and there is a numbness and lack of reaction/uproar to it all.

So let’s bring back those top shelf magazines if they’re not as bad as the internet. Hands up all the women who want to walk into the newsagents and be greeted by magazines with naked women on the covers like we had to back in the 70s.

Oh no, if it was a girl it would be disgusting and grim, because their DDs would never ever look at rude things like that, they're too busy practicing cello and reading the psalms.

However, their strapping young DSes need to learn how to take banter, because boys will be boys, won't they? If you can't deal with your dad calling your friend a sexperv in front of you then you're just humourless, yeah?