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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think man I’m dating was wrong to ask this? Or is it ‘normal’ these days and I’m just prudish

111 replies

GabbyK · 31/10/2025 14:23

Man I’ve been on 6/7 dates with and all going well.

I was at a works do last night, posh hotel so dressed up. Sent him a photo of me once I’d got ready.

He replied ‘where’s the money shot’

I asked what he meant and he said ‘your tits obviously’

I haven’t dated for years so don’t know if this is just how things are now..but was I wrong to be taken aback?

OP posts:
redjeans28 · 31/10/2025 15:01

I would dump him for this. He's clearly got comfortable enough to drop the 'best behaviour' to reel you in.

Happyjoe · 31/10/2025 15:00

Is it me or are men getting worse? Much worse? I mean, by all means think it, but to write it?

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 31/10/2025 15:00

What on earth are men like him thinking?! That’s the way a man who watches too much porn and thinks of women as things to ejaculate on speaks. I’d never go near him again. How’s he got to his age believing this is the way women want to be treated? JFC.

bumptybum · 31/10/2025 15:00

‘Tits’? 🤨 unless you have the sort of relationship where this language is normal or used in a comedic way, I would be so so revolted by this

Cheeseontoastghost · 31/10/2025 14:59

I would write

You are dumped bye !

On a piece of paper then block

Absolutely grim

Arlanymor · 31/10/2025 14:59

BauhausOfEliott · 31/10/2025 14:55

That would still be inaccurate, though, and would annoy me. If he's going to try and be edgy, he at least needs to get it right.

The more I think about it, the more cringeworthy it is.

I realise his misuse of the phrase 'money shot' isn't the worst thing about his behaviour, obviously, but for some reason it's the thing that's grating on me the most.

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No I know it's inaccurate - I was just pointing out the potential basis of the inaccuracy IYSWIM? It's do agree it makes it doubly grating... but then I used to know someone who used to write 'thank you' as 'thankyou' - one word, I never said anything but it used to annoy me and I still don't know why!

Zippedydodah · 31/10/2025 14:59

Instant ick.

UsernameMcUsername · 31/10/2025 14:58

Grim. This is why I'm happy being single!

FunMustard · 31/10/2025 14:58

I'd be grossed out if my husband said this to me. And he's obviously seen mine many times!

Why are blokes so disgusting when they have texts and socials to hide behind?

Elboob · 31/10/2025 14:58

utter ick

that's what I would reply too

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 14:58

EmeraldRoulette · 31/10/2025 14:44

It doesn't take sky high expectations to dump somebody for doing this though.

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I know but I now have a zero tolerance mindset. So if I have to even think about if something was wrong it’s a deal breaker.

Realrobin · 31/10/2025 14:58

GabbyK · 31/10/2025 14:51

Yeah I said I’d share a photo if one was taken of me later in the night eg group photo but said I wasn’t comfortable taking one just for that reason and he replied to say he was just joking.

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He's grim, and he's not even clever enough to craft a decent joke or flirt well.

Jollyjoy · 31/10/2025 14:57

Yuk. The upside is he’s communicated a lot with that question and you are now free to find a man who respects you before this goes any further.

AngelicKaty · 31/10/2025 14:56

BeenThereBackThen · 31/10/2025 14:27

So no ‘you look lovely’, ‘you’re gorgeous’ or anything similar?
Straight into vulgar joke about money shot?

I would lose quite a bit of respect to this man. It shows what’s on his mind really.

No doubt he will explain it away as him having an ‘edgy’ sense of humour.

Meh, I would be disappointed.

Yup, absolutely this. 👆
@GabbyK YANBU OP and this would put me right off him. I'd have replied "No, I never send photo's like that - because I'm not stupid."

Happyjoe · 31/10/2025 14:56

All I can say is... oh jesus, not another one.
Horrible.
Sorry...

comealongdobbeh · 31/10/2025 14:56

GabbyK · 31/10/2025 14:51

Yeah I said I’d share a photo if one was taken of me later in the night eg group photo but said I wasn’t comfortable taking one just for that reason and he replied to say he was just joking.

Show quote history

He’s lying.
He’s gross.
Get rid.

SL2924 · 31/10/2025 14:56

Dump. What a twat

BauhausOfEliott · 31/10/2025 14:55

Arlanymor · 31/10/2025 14:32

It is, but I guess in this scenario he could be using it to say that it's a photo that would make him 'offload'?

Show quote history

That would still be inaccurate, though, and would annoy me. If he's going to try and be edgy, he at least needs to get it right.

The more I think about it, the more cringeworthy it is.

I realise his misuse of the phrase 'money shot' isn't the worst thing about his behaviour, obviously, but for some reason it's the thing that's grating on me the most.

Greysowhat · 31/10/2025 14:54

Just joking, of course.

Ugh. Just no.

Notsuchafattynow · 31/10/2025 14:53

And this is the supposed Honeymoon period......

pikkumyy77 · 31/10/2025 14:52

NoArmaniNoPunani · 31/10/2025 14:27

I thought the money shot was a porn term for seeing the man jizz. Never heard it for boobs. Either way it's gross

Yes thats the money shot. Utterly gross.

BauhausOfEliott · 31/10/2025 14:52

I would be put off for three reasons.

First, because I'm assuming that hadn't been the tone of your previous conversations and he shouldn't have assumed you'd be fine with that.

Second, because he didn't actually say 'You look great' or whatever, he just demanded a picture of your tits without bothering to compliment you or say something nice about you. It's all about him, the selfish twat.

Third, I would be put off because the term 'money shot' really doesn't mean what he thinks it means...! He's trying to sound all worldly-wise and casual but he's actually got it badly wrong if he thinks a 'money shot' means a picture of your tits.

(For those Mumsnetters unaware: a 'money shot' is actually the moment in a porn film where they show the man ejaculating. I would be put off by a man who knew less about this sort of thing than I do.)

ACatAsleepInYourHat · 31/10/2025 14:51

Well, at least he’s shown you fairly early on that he’s a fuckwit. I wouldn’t waste any more time with him, frankly.

Original poster
GabbyK · 31/10/2025 14:51

louderthan · 31/10/2025 14:47

Did you reply?

Yeah I said I’d share a photo if one was taken of me later in the night eg group photo but said I wasn’t comfortable taking one just for that reason and he replied to say he was just joking.

OP posts:
Tabitha005 · 31/10/2025 14:51

GRIM.

Did you respond? If so, what did you say?