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Original poster

To think man I’m dating was wrong to ask this? Or is it ‘normal’ these days and I’m just prudish

111 replies

GabbyK · 31/10/2025 14:23

Man I’ve been on 6/7 dates with and all going well.

I was at a works do last night, posh hotel so dressed up. Sent him a photo of me once I’d got ready.

He replied ‘where’s the money shot’

I asked what he meant and he said ‘your tits obviously’

I haven’t dated for years so don’t know if this is just how things are now..but was I wrong to be taken aback?

OP posts:
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Slackbladder22 · 31/10/2025 16:54

LeaderBee · 31/10/2025 16:14

I agree,

But the same comment once you have established a rapport with someone, it can cross over into "cheeky banter". Couples talk like this to each other regularly once in an established relationship and context matters for a lot.

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Agreed. I’ve been with current partner a year now and she regularly requests photos which I’m happy to provide. She even asked for one after the first date and I sent it. But it was consensual and in context. I’d known her a while before we started dating so it wasn’t like we’d just met.

The OP sounds within her rights to be a bit put off if this is the first time something like this has been discussed I’d say. A vary clumsy way of broaching the subject

LeaderBee · 31/10/2025 16:14

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 31/10/2025 16:03

If I was asking, i'd assume that we'd already gotten to a level where we'd already established cheeky banter like this was ok.

This is not cheeky banter @LeaderBee
It's a nasty, misogynistic comment which demeans all women.

I agree,

But the same comment once you have established a rapport with someone, it can cross over into "cheeky banter". Couples talk like this to each other regularly once in an established relationship and context matters for a lot.

purple590 · 31/10/2025 16:14

I confused.

He said he wanted a picture of your tits and you said you send him one later in a group?

JHound · 31/10/2025 16:05

I would block him.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 31/10/2025 16:03

If I was asking, i'd assume that we'd already gotten to a level where we'd already established cheeky banter like this was ok.

This is not cheeky banter @LeaderBee
It's a nasty, misogynistic comment which demeans all women.

LeaderBee · 31/10/2025 16:00

I'm a man, i'd not ask this, i'd wait until we'd gotten there naturally. If you liked me perhaps you'd send me one without asking.

If I was asking, i'd assume that we'd already gotten to a level where we'd already established cheeky banter like this was ok.

Sounds a bit creepy to me.

Shitmonger · 31/10/2025 15:59

LaserPumpkin · 31/10/2025 15:20

I’m not pretending to be confused - I really am confused!

I get she isn’t comfortable taking one for that reason, but she’d send him a group one?

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To be blunt, OP was just being a wet lettuce. She didn’t want to react to his “show me your tits” comment so she copped out with a “Oh ehm well I’m not comfortable with that but if I’m in any group pictures I’ll send you those.” Obviously no breasts involved, just trying to put him off and passively indicate that she will only be sending normal, clothed photos.

InterestedDad37 · 31/10/2025 15:58

No, it's not normal 👍

Brightbluesomething · 31/10/2025 15:49

I’m by no means a prude but that would give me the ick. It’s objectifying and just plain grim.
This will only be the start of grubby behaviour if you stay with him.

JLou08 · 31/10/2025 15:46

Some people would find it funny, some would be disgusted, some would be turned on. It's not a new thing either, people were definitely requesting/sending pics over 6 years ago. Maybe even more so in them days before people really considered the security of sending intimate pictures.
Just do what feels right to you, tell him how you feel and move past it together or end it.

TightlyLacedCorset · 31/10/2025 15:43

LaserPumpkin · 31/10/2025 15:20

I’m not pretending to be confused - I really am confused!

I get she isn’t comfortable taking one for that reason, but she’d send him a group one?

Show quote history

I think she means: She wasn't happy taking a photo just so he could see her breasts.

But she will send another photo (not including her breasts either) of her with her friends when she's with them. So he will only get photos of her socialising.

It's a bit clumsily put.

MannequinsArePeopleToo · 31/10/2025 15:40

🙄

LibbyOTV · 31/10/2025 15:39

Ew, says so much about him

TightlyLacedCorset · 31/10/2025 15:38

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 31/10/2025 14:26

Before we rush to conclusions - is he an ornithologist?

😩🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sockdays · 31/10/2025 15:37

So many low class men out there.
What a way to talk to anyone.
So rough.
He certainly isn't trying to impress you is he?🙄

BrassyLocks · 31/10/2025 15:28

LaserPumpkin · 31/10/2025 15:20

I’m not pretending to be confused - I really am confused!

I get she isn’t comfortable taking one for that reason, but she’d send him a group one?

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I dont understand OP's response either. Thought I was the only one.

DiscoBob · 31/10/2025 15:27

Well he's saying he fancies you and is so aroused by your breasts he orgasmed over a picture of them. I guess in a sexual context it's meant to be a compliment?!

Maybe it came (no pun intended) out of the blue a bit and he's testing the waters for dirty texts/pics. If you haven't done that yet. Not that you should if you're not comfortable.

Meadowfinch · 31/10/2025 15:24

Arlanymor · 31/10/2025 14:23

It's normal for some men. But not the men I would want to date.

This. He'd be going on his own. Yuk !!

nomoreforks · 31/10/2025 15:21

I would rather be surrounded by cats than ever date a man who says stuff like that.

LaserPumpkin · 31/10/2025 15:20

redjeans28 · 31/10/2025 15:19

I've no idea why you're pretending you're confused. OP states this in the very quote you've used.

but said I wasn’t comfortable taking one just for that reason and he replied to say he was just joking

Show quote history

I’m not pretending to be confused - I really am confused!

I get she isn’t comfortable taking one for that reason, but she’d send him a group one?

Sunshineismyfavourite · 31/10/2025 15:20

That'd be a massive turn off for me. Just no. Even him saying 'your tits' like your breasts are some inanimate object or something.

Perhaps some wouldn't mind this type of talk but it's not for me.

redjeans28 · 31/10/2025 15:19

LaserPumpkin · 31/10/2025 15:17

Hang on… you think there might be a group photo featuring your tits later on at a work event?

Where do you work, as this might be driving his response (which is otherwise gross)

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I've no idea why you're pretending you're confused. OP states this in the very quote you've used.

but said I wasn’t comfortable taking one just for that reason and he replied to say he was just joking

cramptramp · 31/10/2025 15:19

FrostAtMidnight · 31/10/2025 14:25

Are you dating Jay from the Inbetweeners?

This. Dump him immediately.

BadgernTheGarden · 31/10/2025 15:19

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 15:14

Or he just meant, get yer tits out luv!

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Why would he want her to get her tits out at a posh do, probably with lots of other men there? He might have just meant a shot showing the neckline of the posh dress revealing a bit of breast and cleavage. The conclusion jumping is mind boggling, I guess it's people's experience of some very dodgy men.

Tireddadplus · 31/10/2025 15:18

I’m a man and that even gives me the ick!

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