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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DrBlackbird · 01/11/2025 16:12

potpourree · 31/10/2025 14:34

I thought being a woman was about having special womanly feelings or spirit or soul and was nothing to do with being female?

Yet by some weird coincidence these male people seem to be emulating the female body? What an odd thing to have happened.

Apparently the female body is female by virtue of long hair, lots of makeup, lip fillers and plastic surgery. I’ve been doing it all wrong. Thank god Glamour is there to point out where I’ve been going wrong so I can now properly woman.

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 16:09

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:29

I know several trans people. They are just ordinary. They don't have invitations streaming in from TV shows or massive followings on Twitter or anything. And they don't deserve the ire that occurs on a daily basis on here.

I know several trans people too. They're all very nice and they're all the sex they were born as, obviously so, and they've got exactly the same rights as everyone else.

So what?

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/11/2025 16:08

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

I’m willing to bet that per capita, trans people have more platforms than women do. Ordinary women are summarily ignored.

Talkinpeace · 01/11/2025 16:06

Any trans identifying person who does not believe that everybody around them knows which sex they are
is deluded.

Accurate sex identification is hard wired into the brains of all humans and mammals and birds.
We do it in less than a second with >99% accuracy

Silence is usually fear not acceptance let alone 'passing'

quantumbutterfly · 01/11/2025 16:04

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 01/11/2025 14:08

‘Frothing’ 🤣 Out comes the bingo card.

Do you champion trans women in women’s sports too?

I prefer effervescing.
Anyone else getting 'in thread' adverts for a creepy AI companion that looks like a young girl that you can dress up? What fresh hell is this mn?
Is it an algorithm thing? I don't want to have to talk to my sons about search history...or dp😶

Nettlestoop · 01/11/2025 16:02

@potpourree sums this up brilliantly!

How do we know which is the bigger deal to which group?
Going into single-sex, mixed-gender toilets, or going into mixed-sex, single-gender toilets? Why is the former bad but the latter fine?
And that's ignoring all the people who need accessible loos that can't get them.

BCBird · 01/11/2025 15:56

BlueIndigoScarlet · 31/10/2025 14:30

In years to come people are going to look back on this period in history and think society had collectively lost its mind

Totally agree. This is madness.

Namelessnelly · 01/11/2025 15:53

potpourree · 01/11/2025 15:37

I agree with you there. I feel for any group who have people as supposed spokespeople for them who present the worst of the group.

If it helps, I wouldn't assume all trans people are misogynists (although there is some level of sexist thinking that underlies the 'men are like THIS, women are like THAT' belief behind self-id - but sexism is so deeply ingrained into our culture I have some sympathy with those who have absorbed it).

In fact 'trans' includes people with no gender identity which would apply to many people on here!

I don’t really think it does. I mean, to claim to have no gender identity, you’d have to a ) believe in such nonsense, and b) be able to define it. Thst would be like saying stamp collecting community includes those who don’t collect stamps wouldn’t it?

potpourree · 01/11/2025 15:50

Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand.

How do we know which is the bigger deal to which group?
Going into single-sex, mixed-gender toilets, or going into mixed-sex, single-gender toilets? Why is the former bad but the latter fine?

And that's ignoring all the people who need accessible loos that can't get them.

fortinbra · 01/11/2025 15:45

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

A lot of vulnerable people, especially young people, have been put in an impossible position it is true. I promise that lack of empathy for them is not what is happening here.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 01/11/2025 15:44

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

My nephew is trans. We’ve fully supported them in their journey but they have not changed sex. They are still biologically male.

As for the toilet argument. Don’t biological women deserve the safety and privacy of a single sex space? Why must the centring of biological males trump the needs of biological women?

TheKeatingFive · 01/11/2025 15:42

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

You aren't addressing the core issue however.

A group of men, which includes some very violent and aggressive ones, demand access to women's spaces and when women object, we are called evil bigots.

How is that right or fair?

Talkinpeace · 01/11/2025 15:40

Trans activists vandalised the EHRC offices
Trans activists want the EHRC evicted from their offices
Trans activists did £55,000 of damage to the Brighton Centre
Trans activists try to drown out any meeting of women on any subject
Trans activists force their way into womens sporting competitions
Trans activists force their way into menopause and miscarriage and breastfeeding groups

they are bullies who should be called out
but politicians are cowards

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:39

Ordinary trans people do not have a platform. Even going to the toilet becomes a far bigger deal than many people on here will ever understand. The problem is that many people on here can't/won't see the individuals behind the sensationalist headlines, largely because they don't want to and it doesn't suit their purposes to do so.

potpourree · 01/11/2025 15:37

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 14:55

Those idiots don’t speak for many in the trans community.

I agree with you there. I feel for any group who have people as supposed spokespeople for them who present the worst of the group.

If it helps, I wouldn't assume all trans people are misogynists (although there is some level of sexist thinking that underlies the 'men are like THIS, women are like THAT' belief behind self-id - but sexism is so deeply ingrained into our culture I have some sympathy with those who have absorbed it).

In fact 'trans' includes people with no gender identity which would apply to many people on here!

EasternStandard · 01/11/2025 15:34

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/11/2025 15:25

The Barbie film wasn’t woke. We’re so far down the misogynist road that a film that is hilarious, centres women and girls, talks about real-life things that happen every day, is ‘woke’. It’s not.

Pretending that (for example) the best people to model female sportswear have penises, that’s ‘woke’.

Yeh I wondered that about the Barbie film, why it was described as such

Scout2016 · 01/11/2025 15:34

On a thread asking why men are being celebrated as women of the year you say they have no platform?

I've seen grifters complaining that "work" (being paid for talking about themselves) has been drying up since the SC ruling... maybe Shon or the other men Glamour interviewed could have suggested that if people want to support them, how about they try not turning up with masks on to drown out women meeting to speak, or vandalism of buildings they are meeting in, and not posing for photos with weapons and posting how they want to harm "terfs". Instead of more of the poor me me me act.

<a class="break-all" href="https://archive.is/2025.09.17-104109/shonfaye.substack.com/p/well-its-over" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://archive.is/2025.09.17-104109/shonfaye.substack.com/p/well-its-over

Or this couple could have suggested it as a way for allies to help?

www.google.com/amp/s/diva-magazine.com/2025/03/31/jake-and-hannah-graf/amp/

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 01/11/2025 15:32

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:06

Probably because most of them are just individual people trying to do their best in a world that sidelines and silences them. They don’t have platforms to call anything out.

Now THIS is funny and utter rubbish.
I’d probably lose my job if I spoke out publicly about the glamour cover and declared my support for JKR. So don’t tell me they don’t have a platform and are sidelined and silenced.

lifeturnsonadime · 01/11/2025 15:31

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:29

I know several trans people. They are just ordinary. They don't have invitations streaming in from TV shows or massive followings on Twitter or anything. And they don't deserve the ire that occurs on a daily basis on here.

Do they use the facilities that align with their sex or do they go about their ordinary lives eroding boundaries and breaking the law?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:29

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 15:18

"Sidelines and silences them..."

You want to know what is funny? That you claim to find humour in a magazine's playground insults, but presumably typed this with a straight face.

I know several trans people. They are just ordinary. They don't have invitations streaming in from TV shows or massive followings on Twitter or anything. And they don't deserve the ire that occurs on a daily basis on here.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/11/2025 15:25

JHound · 31/10/2025 16:03

They do say that but it almost never happens (look at the Barbie movie for example.)

The Barbie film wasn’t woke. We’re so far down the misogynist road that a film that is hilarious, centres women and girls, talks about real-life things that happen every day, is ‘woke’. It’s not.

Pretending that (for example) the best people to model female sportswear have penises, that’s ‘woke’.

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 15:18

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:06

Probably because most of them are just individual people trying to do their best in a world that sidelines and silences them. They don’t have platforms to call anything out.

"Sidelines and silences them..."

You want to know what is funny? That you claim to find humour in a magazine's playground insults, but presumably typed this with a straight face.

ThatCyanCat · 01/11/2025 15:15

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 14:55

Those idiots don’t speak for many in the trans community.

They're much worse than mere idiots and there are enough of them to cause serious harm and intimidation. And if the genderists had their way, they'd have full access to female spaces including prisons and everything they do would be recorded as women's crimes.

Nonetheless, you can express your opinions without any fear of getting that kind of reaction from terfs. Aren't you lucky?

spannasaurus · 01/11/2025 15:15

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 01/11/2025 15:06

Probably because most of them are just individual people trying to do their best in a world that sidelines and silences them. They don’t have platforms to call anything out.

No platform?

So trans people are never given airtime on TV and radio.

There are no trans charities to represent them
There are no MPs pleading for their "rights" in parliament .

And no trans person has the support of the police who certainly wouldn't send 5 police officers to arrest someone for making a joke about trans identified men or arrest a wheelchair bound women for putting up a sticker or even threaten to arrest a women for "damaging" a TRAs umbrella