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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Arraminta · 02/11/2025 17:22

JellySaurus · 02/11/2025 16:13

Of course they deserve better.

Which means that men should not be gaslighted into this pretence that they are women, or can pass as women. They should not be ill-treated by their fellow men, they should feel safe using spaces set apart for men, and not gaslighted into the fear that they are in any danger there. And if they are in danger in spaces set apart for men, then men need to be taught inclusivity and tolerance, rather than using women as service-humans to look after the men that other men reject. Trans-identifying people deserve better healthcare, not mutilating surgeries and untreated, off-licence drug regimes that will sterilise them, harm them and leave them patients for life.

Do you really believe that none of us have trans-identifying or gender-confused people in our lives? Or that we do not care for them and about them?

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Exactly. When people are suffering with anorexia we don't encourage and enable their erroneous and potentially dangerous beliefs. Doctors do not agree with them that they absolutely do need to lose even more weight and hand them a prescription for Ozempic.

TheKeatingFive · 02/11/2025 16:59

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:25

Nope

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Obviously they are. It is a necessary characteristic.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 02/11/2025 16:21

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:28

Don’t be daft. You know full well what I mean. Which is that I stand with transwomen. We won’t be in agreement & that’s fine. You do you :)

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Stand with the men as much as you want, it’s hardly a new thing for women to throw other women under the bus to pander to them, is it?

JellySaurus · 02/11/2025 16:13

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:26

Because they’re people like everyone else & deserve better. Both my immediate circle of friends, my kid’s friend and -yup perfect strangers. That’s why.

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Of course they deserve better.

Which means that men should not be gaslighted into this pretence that they are women, or can pass as women. They should not be ill-treated by their fellow men, they should feel safe using spaces set apart for men, and not gaslighted into the fear that they are in any danger there. And if they are in danger in spaces set apart for men, then men need to be taught inclusivity and tolerance, rather than using women as service-humans to look after the men that other men reject. Trans-identifying people deserve better healthcare, not mutilating surgeries and untreated, off-licence drug regimes that will sterilise them, harm them and leave them patients for life.

Do you really believe that none of us have trans-identifying or gender-confused people in our lives? Or that we do not care for them and about them?

Hoppinggreen · 02/11/2025 15:49

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:25

Nope

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It wasn't a question

Talkinpeace · 02/11/2025 15:47

Men who wish to present as what they consider to be female are welcome to do so
but they are not women.
Transwomen are by definition male.
They therefore need to not use spaces reserved for females.

When they accept the rights of actual women
and get other men to be more accepting of non conformity
life will settle down again

TheKeatingFive · 02/11/2025 15:31

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:26

Because they’re people like everyone else & deserve better. Both my immediate circle of friends, my kid’s friend and -yup perfect strangers. That’s why.

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Deserve better than what?

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:28

Namelessnelly · 02/11/2025 05:26

But surely, if trans means opposite side, youre just confirming that those you call”transwomen” are” the opposite of women. Which is men. I’m so glad you’re in agreement that those males with a trans identity are not and never will be women.

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Don’t be daft. You know full well what I mean. Which is that I stand with transwomen. We won’t be in agreement & that’s fine. You do you :)

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:26

AngryBird6122 · 02/11/2025 10:02

@CunningLinguist2 can I ask why you are so passionate about it? Why it’s so important to you?

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Because they’re people like everyone else & deserve better. Both my immediate circle of friends, my kid’s friend and -yup perfect strangers. That’s why.

CunningLinguist2 · 02/11/2025 15:25

TheKeatingFive · 02/11/2025 00:24

So called transwomen are men. You know that.

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Nope

JellySaurus · 02/11/2025 13:55

Arraminta · 02/11/2025 13:20

Goodness, what a very, very special person you are compared to all of us mindlessly gendered sheep (note that in deference to your clear superiority I have used the gender neutral 'sheep' and not ewes or rams).

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Thanks to the intelligent, articulate witches of the Feminism - Sex and Gender board, I learned a new phrase: ad hominem. Arraminta’s response is a beautiful example.

Arraminta · 02/11/2025 13:20

Inertia · 01/11/2025 19:55

People may choose to self-define as trans with no gender identity. However, that doesn’t mean that anyone with no gender identity must be trans.

I have no gender identity because I consider gender to be a misogynistic, capitalist tool of a profiteering patriarchy which actively harms women and children. The targeting of children in order to generate profits from a lifetime of unnecessary medicalisation is especially insidious. I refuse to define myself according to an ideology I totally object to.

I don’t have a Catholic identity either - that doesn’t mean I should self-define as a heathen. It’s simply an ideology which does not apply to me.

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Goodness, what a very, very special person you are compared to all of us mindlessly gendered sheep (note that in deference to your clear superiority I have used the gender neutral 'sheep' and not ewes or rams).

potpourree · 02/11/2025 11:23

Inertia · 01/11/2025 19:55

People may choose to self-define as trans with no gender identity. However, that doesn’t mean that anyone with no gender identity must be trans.

I have no gender identity because I consider gender to be a misogynistic, capitalist tool of a profiteering patriarchy which actively harms women and children. The targeting of children in order to generate profits from a lifetime of unnecessary medicalisation is especially insidious. I refuse to define myself according to an ideology I totally object to.

I don’t have a Catholic identity either - that doesn’t mean I should self-define as a heathen. It’s simply an ideology which does not apply to me.

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Absolutely. But if a Catholic would view me as a heathen within the bounds of their belief system, then in a similar way a trans person might equally see a person who rejects gender identity - what Stonewall (or similar) describe as an agender person - as trans.

They would have to be adhering to a rather contradictory, often circular, and poorly defined belief system, but that's on them, and if they claim to subscribe to it then they should at least attempt to do so consistently and not fight against those who reject gender identity in the name of promoting trans rights.

Original poster
AngryBird6122 · 02/11/2025 10:02

CunningLinguist2 · 01/11/2025 17:55

Now that they’re upfront and in your face about protecting transwomen? Absofuckinglutely! #ProtectTheDolls (

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@CunningLinguist2 can I ask why you are so passionate about it? Why it’s so important to you?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 02/11/2025 08:58

CunningLinguist2 · 01/11/2025 23:50

TransWOMEN. we’re done ;)

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You think men need protecting from TransWOMEN?
You may be right, men DO attack other men

lifeturnsonadime · 02/11/2025 08:46

BunfightBetty · 01/11/2025 20:44

The $64,000 question. What exactly do they need protecting from? And how does taking prizes meant for women, and having their photo on the cover of a magazine, achieve that?

Maybe one of the posters who are all for this can explain?

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The answer is OTHER MEN.

This is not a problem that women should have to solve or give our single sex spaces over to.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 02/11/2025 07:00

Heggettypeg · 02/11/2025 01:21

I think you've just solved the language problem!

Adult human female = "woman"
Trans identifying male = "doll" or "brick" as he prefers.

No more appropriation of the word "woman" or women's things, no need for any "cis" nonsense, TIMs are still recognised as distinct from men.

Trans identifying females can invent a word(s) for themselves too

Sorted!😊

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I agree!

ClarafromHR · 02/11/2025 06:03

ByShyRaven · 31/10/2025 21:29

Ha ok.

yes, I have two daughters. But luckily I’m bringing them up as proud feminists in a multi cultural left leaning city that doesn’t punch down on minorities.

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There is nothing feminist about pandering to men. Give your head a wobble.

ClarafromHR · 02/11/2025 05:50

ByShyRaven · 31/10/2025 16:40

YABU. Great response from Glamour. Hatred of trans people is no different to the past prevalence and social acceptance of homophobia. Shame on anyone who agrees with JK Rowling.

I’ll take your shame and raise you a deluded handmaiden. You should be ashamed. The rest of us are realists.

ClarafromHR · 02/11/2025 05:42

Glowingup · 31/10/2025 15:13

Are all the people on that magazine cover trans women?

No, trans identified men.

Namelessnelly · 02/11/2025 05:26

CunningLinguist2 · 01/11/2025 23:50

TransWOMEN. we’re done ;)

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But surely, if trans means opposite side, youre just confirming that those you call”transwomen” are” the opposite of women. Which is men. I’m so glad you’re in agreement that those males with a trans identity are not and never will be women.

Heggettypeg · 02/11/2025 01:21

Ereshkigalangcleg · 01/11/2025 12:49

If these men want to call themselves “dolls” have at it. They aren’t women.

I think you've just solved the language problem!

Adult human female = "woman"
Trans identifying male = "doll" or "brick" as he prefers.

No more appropriation of the word "woman" or women's things, no need for any "cis" nonsense, TIMs are still recognised as distinct from men.

Trans identifying females can invent a word(s) for themselves too

Sorted!😊

TheKeatingFive · 02/11/2025 00:24

CunningLinguist2 · 01/11/2025 23:50

TransWOMEN. we’re done ;)

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So called transwomen are men. You know that.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/11/2025 00:10

SabrinaThwaite · 01/11/2025 22:43

As a woman, when you get to about 50 or 55 you become invisible. You get to do the heavy lifting of still supporting children, looking after aging parents and managing a job, with menopause thrown into the mix.

These men that will never experience the reality of actually being a woman can just fuck off with the dolls crap.

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Dustin Hoffman was the clever one realising that. He said he assumed he would be a gorgeous woman, he was not. He turned into a frumpy, invisible, sort of normal woman.

Not a doll, a Karen, with all that comes with that.

WearyAuldWumman · 01/11/2025 23:56

That's a surprising answer.