To be upset by school mums

The kids are very young yet but if your DD is asking them round for a playdate, surely they'd be pestering their mums if they really wanted to go, or if they wanted your DD to come to theirs?

You can't force it at this age.

Wait until they're a bit older and they'll very probably be making their own choices.

D keeps it for school, as the girls get older they will either want to meet up when mums have less influence or better still your d will have friends with nicer mums.
I never did play dates or sleepovers with my kids, they weren't interested but then having a big family, sibling playmates were always available.

Perhaps they don’t like you very much - and you know what, that’s fine. It’s no reflection on you as a person, they don’t know you, they’ve just concluded that you’re school mums and that they don’t think you have a lot in common with each other, and don’t relish the idea of awkward meetings up where you’ll all have to make small talk. As your DD gets older and play dates mean that her friends can be dropped of at yours without a parent staying, or vice versa, it becomes easier. At this age, the stick-around play dates can take away from time that’s needed or wanted for other things.

At this age quite a lot of playdates still involved mums sticking around for a while, if not all of the time. It is only natural with the minimum amount of adult contact that some mum's get when their kids are little that they plan their playdates around established adult friends they like to socialise with.

Give it a couple of years when the assumption is that all playdates are 'dump and run' and it all becomes a lot easier and more flexible, and if you have an only child you get free time!!

I get it op. These can be such challenging relationships, not something you’re prepared for when you become a parent. All you can do is help your own child to be resilient and wonderful.

Are you sure they’re meeting up outside of school? Is it that they just don’t want to meet up at all?

Maybe they dont want to get into it. I found the school run hit and miss with friendships. I do get it its hurtful. If you asked a few times I let it be now

You can’t force people to be friends 🤷‍♀️
We never had playdates when I was in school, at all, ever!
We just had fun while in school.

As ridiculous as this sounds, they probably want to selfishly keep their daughters friendship as an exclusive little club and don’t want your daughter to end up becoming better friends with one or the other such that their daughter becomes left out.

yes, it really is that petty I’m afraid.