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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

465 replies

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:07

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

OP posts:
Theslummymummy · 31/10/2025 23:24

The cabinet is behind a glass door?

It's perfume, not your knickers or a roll on deodorant. If you don't want guests making themselves at home, don't leave things in their room when they are staying.

NorthenAdventure · 31/10/2025 23:04

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 11:08

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

This. I think the key point here is that they were in your guest room. Cheeky if they were elsewhere!

ShyMaryEllen · 31/10/2025 22:47

When I stay at people's houses I am a guest in their home, not someone renting a room in a hotel. Of course I don't use their personal things - I wouldn't even open a drawer unless I'd been told that one had been set aside for my use (eg if I were staying for a few days). I find it insane that posters seem to assume that sleeping in a spare room gives them carte blanche to help themselves to their host's personal stuff.

Abitofalark · 31/10/2025 22:26

Lunde · 31/10/2025 14:12

It's a bit odd to leave stuff you don't want touched in the guest room.

IMHO stuff that is put out in the guest's room then it's fair game to use - stuff you don't want touched goes in the bottom of the wardrobe

With a chain and padlock around the wardrobe.

Hyperfix8d · 31/10/2025 22:10

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 15:27

Who on earth puts a load of perfume out for guests to use?! This isn’t a high end hotel! Good lord, I despair at some of these responses!

Show quote history

Hahaha my in laws actually!! All the bathrooms have a selection of Tom Ford perfumes - and no, these are not their personal ones, those are kept in their own bedroom / en suite. The ones in the rest of the house are for guests!!

Abitofalark · 31/10/2025 22:00

YoudonemessedupAyAyRon · 31/10/2025 16:58

I wonder about the intelligence levels of some of the people on this thread. I have a big cupboard full of art supplies in our spare/guest bedroom. I wouldn’t expect a guest to paint a picture while they were staying.

Oh, I don't know. I'd be careful about inviting any budding David Hockney. Ben Nicholson did a painting on the plaster wall of a house he was staying at as a guest. What's an artist to do?

Original poster
Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 21:26

Floundering66 · 31/10/2025 21:10

If it was on display in the spare room/ guest room I would have assumed it was there for me to use. It’s like having towels in the bathroom if you don’t want the guest to use them.

It’s really not (IMO) 🤣 towels are a very usual thing to lend to guests, perfume very much not so!

OP posts:
Floundering66 · 31/10/2025 21:10

If it was on display in the spare room/ guest room I would have assumed it was there for me to use. It’s like having towels in the bathroom if you don’t want the guest to use them.

LittleArithmetics · 31/10/2025 20:50

Can people really not see the difference between a selection of relevant toiletries such as shampoo and toothpaste in a spare room or guest ensuite, and 15 bottles of perfume in a display case?

NarnianQueen · 31/10/2025 20:16

The responses to this are insane. Surely people realise that spare rooms are often used for storage? Do you actually think anything in there is yours for the taking?

i think she was incredibly rude!

olympicsrock · 31/10/2025 20:05

I leave a selection of toiletries and spa slippers for guests to use in our guest room.

I assume that people will use whatever they need / would enjoy .

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 31/10/2025 19:52

Amonthinthecountry · 31/10/2025 11:19

I wouldn’t help myself to someone else’s perfume either but I can see why someone might think it was okay if they were in the guest bedroom anyway.

This. ^ Why on earth were these 'expensive fragrances' in the guest room @Iloveleaveinconditioner ??? Confused

The woman was slightly cheeky, but YABU to have left the bottles of perfume in the guest room!

LemonTreeGrove · 31/10/2025 18:57

It sounds like she used one spray from each bottle she used, which won't make much difference.

YoudonemessedupAyAyRon · 31/10/2025 18:54

BreakingWaves · 31/10/2025 17:36

I wouldn't personally have used them so I sort of think YANBU - but I also think it's very weird to leave anything you feel a bit precious about in a guest's room, so on balance I voted YABU.

It’s not the guest’s room. It’s a room in the OP’s house. The description of “guest room” is for the OP’s benefit to distinguish that room in her house from the other rooms, not a handing over of ownership of its contents to anyone staying in it.

Phoenixfire1988 · 31/10/2025 18:53

They're in the guest room its easy to assume they are there to use , if you dont want people using them put a lock on the cabinet or move them

Pherian · 31/10/2025 18:51

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:07

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

Perhaps you should move things you want kept for your personal use in a more personal space - like not in a guest bedroom or bathroom.

Sam858 · 31/10/2025 18:48

Wow, I'm quite surprised at people saying it was ok because it was in the room! I wouldn't dream of using the hosts perfume without asking. I wouldn't use any toiletries that were left in the room without asking either. If someone is kind enough to invite me to stay, I would bring a gift to show my appreciation not use the hosts perfumes and treat it like a hotel! I find this incredibly rude. And the comment as she was leaving was very cheeky. Perfumes aren't cheap, it's not something you help yourself to. I'd be taken aback too

Picklelily99 · 31/10/2025 18:40

That's just damned cheeky!

No5ChalksRoad · 31/10/2025 18:37

I know a few people who help themselves to whatever is not nailed down in hotel rooms, to "get their money's worth." That was probably what she was referring to. It's not very amusing.

Summertimesadnessishere · 31/10/2025 18:35

If it was me I wouldn’t have used them.
I think it’s obvious they are nice expensive perfumes so I wouldn’t have assumed they are left out for me.

I might have mentioned something about how lovely they looked and asked about them if I was nt sure but I’d absolutely not assume and help myself. And that comment. Joke or not- very tasteless - I think it’s important to show respect when you stay at someone’s house. Many a true word said in jest. She sounds like a grabby selfish person! Does she invite you back to hers?

krustykittens · 31/10/2025 18:20

No5ChalksRoad · 31/10/2025 16:58

Perfume can cost hundreds of pounds per ounce. But it's not just the retail cost. It may be scarce/hard to find, may have sentimental value, may be a memento from a holiday, etc.

It's akin to jewelry, not shower gel or loo roll, in terms of being private, personal and not for sharing.

Show quote history

I have a bottle of Ralph Lauren's Safari, which is the only perfume I have worn since I was 18. It has been discontinued and once my supply is gone, I have to look for a replacement. I would not be impressed if someone helped themselves to my dwindling supply!

No5ChalksRoad · 31/10/2025 17:41

pottylolly · 31/10/2025 17:06

If you didn’t want her to use them you should have either locked the cabinet or put them in your room. She probably thought you meant for her to use them.

Why would she think that items behind a closed cabinet door were for her use?

BreakingWaves · 31/10/2025 17:36

I wouldn't personally have used them so I sort of think YANBU - but I also think it's very weird to leave anything you feel a bit precious about in a guest's room, so on balance I voted YABU.

CoffeeCantata · 31/10/2025 17:36

I wouldn’t do it - it’s cheeky, but I can imagine it would be a temptation to some.

But OP - scent does go off, so if you have so many on the go at once someone needs to start using them up!😀

ShyMaryEllen · 31/10/2025 17:35

In a hotel room or even a B&B I would assume that they were to be used; but in a room in someone's house I wouldn't think that at all.

If I really wanted to use something belonging to a host I would ask (eg if I had forgotten to pack shampoo or something) but I wouldn't help myself to anything, particularly if my host wasn't a very good friend.

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