Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

465 replies

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:07

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

OP posts:
ElizaJ74 · 01/11/2025 18:00

I'm assuming OP doesn't run a guest house.
Why would anyone think that they were there for anyone's use?
Does everyone lock up the things they have on display because guests would help themselves??
What kind of guests are all these people saying if it's in the guest room it's fair game??

WonderingWanda · 01/11/2025 17:58

I wouldn't use someone else's perfume without asking but she was only there for 4 days, it's hardly going to deplete your perfume levels that much. I wouldn't get that worked up about it.

Johna69 · 01/11/2025 17:57

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 11:08

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

As long as she didn't empty the bottles,no problem.

ParmaVioletTea · 01/11/2025 17:52

PloddingAlong21 · 01/11/2025 16:23

I think it’s weird you put perfumes in a glass display. What sort of perfumes are they? Collector bottles?

Indeed. It's also not very good for perfume to be in direct light. Mine are all jumbled in a drawer, in my bedroom, not in either of the spare rooms!

Wonderlandpeony · 01/11/2025 17:52

I was quite miffed when a friend who was staying with me for a week to do a course, went in my bathroom cabinet and used around half a packet of my make up remover wipes, and think I'd be even less happier if anyone used my perfume at £100 a bottle. She sounds like a CF.

DaisyDoodler · 01/11/2025 17:52

If they were in the guest room I would also have assumed you wouldn’t be worried about people using them. Anything you want to keep to yourself I would put in your own room next time.

ParmaVioletTea · 01/11/2025 17:51

I think both @Iloveleaveinconditioner and her guest are unreasonable.

I think @BreakingWaves post nails it, about why the OP has only herself to blame.

However, I also think the guest was rude to use what were obviously expensive perfumes - although they were on display as if they're trophies, which is weird ...

But then I don't keep anything personal in my guest rooms - they are for guests, and anything I put in them, or in the guest bathroom, is for guests' use!

PloddingAlong21 · 01/11/2025 16:23

I think it’s weird you put perfumes in a glass display. What sort of perfumes are they? Collector bottles?

NorthenAdventure · 01/11/2025 14:17

Floundering66 · 01/11/2025 10:13

I know - to be fair OP just seems to think it’s a bit cheeky, but I’ve seen some comments calling her a CF … a bit extreme in this scenario 😂

Yeh, but she did bother to start up a thread about her... starting all this CF nonsense!

NorthenAdventure · 01/11/2025 14:15

BreakingWaves · 01/11/2025 12:26

In my spare room I keep a lot of books. These aren't provided for guests, it's just overflow from the rest of the house but unsurprisingly, people staying often pick one up, and they are welcome to do so. I don't clear out all the books before someone stays because I don't mind if they read something.

What I don't keep in there is an expensive first edition I own that would be devalued by being thumbed through. Even if I kept it in a special cabinet that I wouldn't open myself were I in someone else's home... I can still see how a guest might accidentally assume it's there to be read, so I wouldn't risk it.

I think wearing someone's clothes or shoes is a completely different thing and obviously harder to get confused about than books/toiletries/perfumes.

Great comparison.

BreadandCircus · 01/11/2025 13:57

Abitofalark · 01/11/2025 13:54

And you exclaimed, 'A shoe rack?' in the tone of Lady Bracknell's theatrical incredulity in the famous 'A handbag?' in The Importance of Being Earnest:
“Jack: Actually, I was found.
Lady Bracknell: Found?
Jack: Uh, yes, I was in... a handbag.
Lady Bracknell: A handbag?
Jack: Yes, it was..

And which should always be ringingly pronounced as ‘A HENDBEG???’

Abitofalark · 01/11/2025 13:54

Kimura · 01/11/2025 08:14

I personally wouldn't use someone's perfumes without asking, but I can see why others would. Especially if you have a sizeable collection/display...it's sort of inviting people to have a nosey.

How about this though...I collect trainers - I have hundreds of pairs, many in storage but I have a wall with clear shoeboxes in one of our guest rooms with about 100 of my best pairs on display in them.

One time we had one of my partner's friends stay over with his girlfriend, who I hadn't met before. Turns out she's into trainers too, so we got along famously. As we were walking to the pub that night I clocked that she was wearing a very highly sought after (and very expensive)) pair of Nikes.

I said something along the lines of "Oh wow, the woman has taste!" only for her to reply that she'd 'borrowed them off my shoe rack'.

I don't know what hit me the hardest, the fact that she'd thought nothing of nabbing a pair of £1k+ trainers to walk down a country road in without asking, or that she'd called my footwear shrine a 'shoe rack' 😭

And you exclaimed, 'A shoe rack?' in the tone of Lady Bracknell's theatrical incredulity in the famous 'A handbag?' in The Importance of Being Earnest:
“Jack: Actually, I was found.
Lady Bracknell: Found?
Jack: Uh, yes, I was in... a handbag.
Lady Bracknell: A handbag?
Jack: Yes, it was..

Kimura · 01/11/2025 13:29

U53rName · 01/11/2025 09:35

Some of us keep our wedding dresses in our spare rooms. Would your CF friend have turned up in the pub in a wedding dress? 😂

Did you point blank tell her that it was a display case, and that it wasn’t a library to borrow from? What did your DP say? What did DP’s friend say? Did you ever see her again?

So I'm not like a lot of trainer freaks in that I actually wear all of mine (albeit after treating them with sprays that repel liquids/dirt, especially if I'm walking down a country road with no pavements!)...she was saying there were a few in my collection that she'd had her eye on and I did say to feel free to try any of them on. I figured she'd try them on in the room mind!

My partner thought it was hilarious because he knows how precious I am about them, her partner looked a bit mortified but we did all laugh it off in the end and I've sold her a few pairs since. Still blows my mind! 😅

BreakingWaves · 01/11/2025 12:26

ShyMaryEllen · 01/11/2025 08:15

Do people completely clear out their spare rooms every time someone stays over? That must make impromptu sleepovers difficult. ‘Oh, have another glass of wine, Delilah. There’s a bed made up in the spare room - it’s no trouble. Just excuse me for an hour whilst I pop upstairs and empty it for you.’

In my spare room I keep a lot of books. These aren't provided for guests, it's just overflow from the rest of the house but unsurprisingly, people staying often pick one up, and they are welcome to do so. I don't clear out all the books before someone stays because I don't mind if they read something.

What I don't keep in there is an expensive first edition I own that would be devalued by being thumbed through. Even if I kept it in a special cabinet that I wouldn't open myself were I in someone else's home... I can still see how a guest might accidentally assume it's there to be read, so I wouldn't risk it.

I think wearing someone's clothes or shoes is a completely different thing and obviously harder to get confused about than books/toiletries/perfumes.

LemonTreeGrove · 01/11/2025 12:26

I wouldn't do this but also wouldn't be bothered by her using a spay or two from each bottle.

SALaw · 01/11/2025 12:23

If it’s in the guest room, it implies and invitation to use.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 01/11/2025 12:21

Aintnosunshinenowitsgone · 01/11/2025 12:20

Ha ha no the opposite, why is she that bothered, it must be pence.

Well quite!

Aintnosunshinenowitsgone · 01/11/2025 12:20

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 01/11/2025 12:17

Why does that matter? Are you going to suggest the OP invoice her guest?

Ha ha no the opposite, why is she that bothered, it must be pence.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 01/11/2025 12:17

Aintnosunshinenowitsgone · 01/11/2025 10:08

How much are your perfumes? I only wear one and it’s about £150 for 100ml. How much per spritz?

Why does that matter? Are you going to suggest the OP invoice her guest?

Redpeach · 01/11/2025 12:08

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 01/11/2025 10:01

It wouldn’t have bothered me at all if she’s used the treadmill. That’s different to expensive perfumes kept in a cabinet though IMO.

I thought it was a bit rude/ cheeky of her to be using my perfumes, but I’ve not once said I was going to fall out with her over it or anything, or not invite her back again so I don’t know where people are getting that from!

But how much does a squirt cost? Pennies? Is it worth all this angst?

Floundering66 · 01/11/2025 10:13

NorthenAdventure · 01/11/2025 09:52

I 100% agree with all of this. Hope she's not on mumsnet, poor woman!

I know - to be fair OP just seems to think it’s a bit cheeky, but I’ve seen some comments calling her a CF … a bit extreme in this scenario 😂

Aintnosunshinenowitsgone · 01/11/2025 10:08

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 01/11/2025 10:01

It wouldn’t have bothered me at all if she’s used the treadmill. That’s different to expensive perfumes kept in a cabinet though IMO.

I thought it was a bit rude/ cheeky of her to be using my perfumes, but I’ve not once said I was going to fall out with her over it or anything, or not invite her back again so I don’t know where people are getting that from!

How much are your perfumes? I only wear one and it’s about £150 for 100ml. How much per spritz?

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 01/11/2025 10:01

It wouldn’t have bothered me at all if she’s used the treadmill. That’s different to expensive perfumes kept in a cabinet though IMO.

I thought it was a bit rude/ cheeky of her to be using my perfumes, but I’ve not once said I was going to fall out with her over it or anything, or not invite her back again so I don’t know where people are getting that from!

OP posts:
U53rName · 01/11/2025 10:00

NorthenAdventure · 01/11/2025 09:45

That is such a bizarre comparison.

To taking a £1k pair of shoes on a country walk without asking? I don’t think so.

Brelim · 01/11/2025 09:58

This is bonkers! People would fall out with guests and not see them again over a spritz of perfume?! Do you monitor the hand soap/shower gel/shampoo too?!!