AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

Your expectations in your own home, do not apply to others in their homes.

The key thing here is not to assume. It’s fine to provide things for your guests, but unless your guest knows you well and knows it’s ok to use stuff, then it’s rude to just assume otherwise.

And as a guest, I would never just assume I could use things. I would always ask as a courtesy, because that’s the polite thing to do.

Thankfully we don't have guests staying (1 bed flats have their advantages!) but I would be extremely pissed off if someone used my shampoo or shower gel as it costs a fortune! I'd take my own if I was staying with someone and I would expect guests to do the same. Luckily if they forgot the corner shop is open until late!

There is no way I would do that and I can’t understand all the people who would! Perfumes are so expensive and who on earth would especially buy them for guests to help themselves! Entirely different to towels, soap, loo roll. Spare rooms are often used for storage - our spare room wardrobe and chest of drawers have all our clothes in!

Because I expect people to use mine. I wouldn't invite someone to stay and not stock the bathroom fully. That would be rude.

Why would you ‘expect’ to use theirs?

That’s a very entitled attitude.

If I’m staying for a reasonable amount of time that would require me to wash my hair whilst I’m there, I would absolutely take my own shampoo and conditioner. I would take all the toiletries I need and normally use.

I go away for work often and stay in hotels. They provide stuff, but it doesn’t stop me taking my own toiletries. Not to mention I like to have my own things that I prefer using.

They were in a glass cabinet not out in the open, yes it’s cheeky!

Doesn't that depend on the bottle? I wear Gucci Jasmine and the bottle isn't clear, it's completely opaque.

What does that have to do with taking your own toiletries where possible?

Unless you’re flying to your friends house, you take your own stuff to use. And you certainly don’t just help yourself. Unless you’re someone who lacks manners of course.

Perfume lasts for years if it’s kept in the box in a cool place, like a drawer, out of sunlight.

I don't agree she thought they were for guest use. Just helped herself as they were there.

My DM has cabinets with sentimental things on display. Some are very old & rare, not worth heaps but pretty. People would still open the cabinets & take them out, and one went missing, but it was too late to prove who it was ) she thinks she knows who).

She now locks the cabinets.

Yes, excellent points 💯

I always take shampoo, conditioner, cleaner etc with me, and would assume people would bring some with them also.

That would make a great other thread, what do you leave for your guests to use when you have friends or family over 😂

I would have thought shampoo, toothpaste, cotton etc.. was the minimum?

I would put perfume in the same category as lavatory paper, toothpaste, books, teabags, jumpers - ie, if someone is a guest I would be happy for them to help themselves. I wouldn’t expect guests to bring soap or toothpaste but I wouldn’t necessarily provide anything beyond the basics. I don’t have any perfume because I think it s basically horrible but I wouldn’t be arsed if someone used some anymore than I would be bothered if they ate some bread.

I wouldn’t expect someone to come and stay and put my knickers on or use my prescription medication or cut into an uncut birthday cake.

Exactly. Anytime I stay away from home, whether it’s a hotel for work, self catering cottage etc, my own toiletries and perfume come with me.

I’d have no need to use the hosts unless I’d forgotten something, and I’d ask, not just take!

Do they? I don't take shampoo and conditioner to someone's house. I assume there will be some there. Wouldn't expect anyone to bring that to mine either.

Might bring toothpaste in case the people I'm staying with have an en-suite and don't leave toothpaste in the main bathroom.

says someone who clearly never fly with hand luggage only 😂

Regardless, I never expect any guest to bring their own shampoo and shower gel, who does that? Their own bedding and pillows too? Their own tea bags? 😂😂

Yes & they're in the bedroom you permitted her to stay in, so if you're particular about your precious perfume, why don't you put a lock on the cabinet? I mean, she obviously thought the perfumes were part & parcel of the guest room, or she wouldn't have been so honest
Plus why don't you have your perfumes in your own bedroom, rather than the guestroom if you don't wish for your guests to sample them?
Surely this would prevent some confusion? 💚

Agree, 15 isn’t a lot of you’ve received them as gifts. I barely used to have any perfume, but now have at least 10 I’ve received as gifts. Some are summer, daytime scents. And some are for winter evenings.

Also agree I wouldn’t use perfume in someone’s spare room unless I asked. That way, there isn’t any misunderstanding. If they’ve been left there for guests (e.g. gifts which the host isn’t keen on) they’ll say: “Sure, go ahead, I left them there for guests”. If not, they’ll set you straight.

I always take my own toiletries (shower gel, toothpaste etc) and perfume when I stay anywhere. So, I’d never expect to use my host’s.

“what do you use when you are staying with people? You go to the shop first to buy your own?”

Most people with common sense would take their own toiletries when they’re staying away from home.

Perfume goes off. Use your expensive perfumes whats the point of keeping it for a special occasion. Wear them every day. Regarding your guest yes agee a bit cheeky not something I would do. But please use your perfume it doesn’t last like a handbag 😊

No, she was being rude.

You don’t just assume you can use someone’s perfumes.

Standard toiletries are one thing. A cabinet full of perfumes is obviously not a standard thing and the least you should do is ask if you’re able to use them and not just assume.

It would never occur to me to ‘have a little spritz and try’ of perfumes that were in a glass cabinet in a guest room. Unless specifically told I could use them, I would never assume they were there for me to use. And that’s what I mean by manners. Ask first, don’t assume.

Clothes in a wardrobe are obviously "storage".

Perfume displayed seem like an invitation? Again, not shocking for guests to use.

I also wouldn’t use someone’s else’s shower gel or shampoo left in their bathroom either!
what do you use when you are staying with people? You go to the shop first to buy your own?

Unless it's in a cabinet and it's rude to rummage, anything left in the bathroom used by guests is for anyone to use?

Choice and variety?!

I have lots and like to change up depending on mood and season. I don’t think the price comes into it.

But People shouldn’t help themselves. So rude. And the comment - getting my moneys worth?! Treating you like a hotel. Prob just a silly comment but even still. I think the brazen-ness of wearing differnt ones each day!!

if I knew someone well and saw a nice perfume or toiletry I might say - oh I’ve wanted to try that one, do you mind if I try it??

You shouldn’t have to do that surely?!!! In your own home?!!