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AIBU?

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AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

465 replies

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:07

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

OP posts:
Linenpickle · 31/10/2025 11:23

Both. She may have not realised the importance given they are on a guest bedroom so Yabu. But she’s a bit cheeky.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 31/10/2025 11:22

Depends on how close you are I think. I'd use my good friends perfume without asking. Wouldn't mind if they used mine either.

nomas · 31/10/2025 11:22

That’s the last time I’d have them stay.

Does she ever invite you?

Weirdest · 31/10/2025 11:22

I think it’s slightly cheeky, but I also think anything you leave in a guest room, guests might help themselves to. It’s awkward if you’re using the room as partial storage/partial guest room. It’s not entirely clear what is supposed to be off limits.

Aparecium · 31/10/2025 11:21

Things left in a guest room are often there for the guest to use. If it’s not clear that it is storage or purely display, or if the room is not obviously someone else’s room that has been temporarily vacated for the guest, then you should expect your guest to use the contents of the room.

”Getting my money’s worth “, though, is rude.

Amonthinthecountry · 31/10/2025 11:19

I wouldn’t help myself to someone else’s perfume either but I can see why someone might think it was okay if they were in the guest bedroom anyway.

Grandmatrish1 · 31/10/2025 11:19

I think perfume is personal, just because it was in the room doesn't mean she can use it. I would say she was cheeky.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 31/10/2025 11:18

Well I wouldn’t have used them without asking, but I can easily see why she thought she could since you had them very openly on display in the guest bedroom. That’s a rather odd decision on your part IMO. I also like perfumes, though can’t afford a collection like yours, and I keep them all in my bedroom, with the only properly expensive one out of sight in a drawer.

Darragon · 31/10/2025 11:17

It seems a bit weird that she did that, but you did leave the perfumes in the room and you’re obviously not that attached to them otherwise you would immediately recognise them as your perfumes rather than something you smelled one time. It comes across like you like having them more than you like using them which is fine but lots ofother people don’t see perfume that way. If you just have them for the bottles then it doesn’t really matter if there’s liquid in them or not and bear in mind that the oils in perfumes degrade and denature over time and make the perfume start to have a rancid smell over the years as well, so it really is there to be used.

BreadandCircus · 31/10/2025 11:16

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 11:08

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

This.

Agix · 31/10/2025 11:15

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:13

Fair enough, but they are in a cabinet behind a glass door so she’d have had to open it up and peruse. Not like I left them on her bed or anything!

You left them on display in the guest room. They are items to be used, not usually ornamental. How is she to know they're not for guest use?

Either move them or lock them up.

OneFootAfterTheOther · 31/10/2025 11:15

I think the fact they were in her room was the confusion..

she probably thought they were there for using.

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:13

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 11:08

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

Fair enough, but they are in a cabinet behind a glass door so she’d have had to open it up and peruse. Not like I left them on her bed or anything!

OP posts:
Dramatic · 31/10/2025 11:09

I wouldn't dream of using someone else's perfume without asking, even if it was on display in the room I'm staying in. The same way that I wouldn't go rifling through the wardrobe and pick out some clothes for the day.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 11:08

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

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