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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

465 replies

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 11:07

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

OP posts:
TenGreatFatSquirrels · 31/10/2025 15:16

candyfloss89 · 31/10/2025 15:14

Is

Edited

I’m not posh but my guest room is literally a spare room used only for guests. I don’t cram my spare room full of clothes and other crap because that fits in the entire room that I already have (my bedroom).

I don’t much use perfume because I have skin conditions but I do have a whole cabinet outside the main bathroom full of shampoos and face masks and hair masks and skin care and hair ties and deodorants etc that is for anyone to use. Hence why it’s all out on display so people can use it. I don’t think that’s unusual my mum does the same.

honeylulu · 31/10/2025 15:14

U53rName · 31/10/2025 15:10

I was a bit shocked when one guest (workmates boorish husband) went into the dining room and took a plate out of our glass fronted dresser, presumably he just preferred a bit of bone China! These are only occasionally used "for posh" as they were a wedding present and I try to avoid everyday breakage risk.

WTAF? Please tell me that the wife set him straight!

Show quote history

No she did not. They also let their 3 year old go upstairs on her own and when I went to check on her (the parents were oblivious) she was jumping on the spare room bed with shoes on having also left a trail of crisps and sandwich crumbs trodden into the carpet. Guess which family was never invited back. 😂

candyfloss89 · 31/10/2025 15:14

Is

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 31/10/2025 15:12

We have all our regular shampoos and shower gels in the shower, then some pricey Tom Ford / Dior etc stuff in a bathroom cabinet. A friend of mine came to stay for the weekend, clearly opened the cabinet to have a nosey and used my Dior stuff without asking. I just looked it up and the shower gel is £62 and the body lotion is £88. They are the scent of my wedding perfume and my husband bought me them for our anniversary. I thought it went without saying that you don’t help yourself to the stuff in cupboards and cabinets when in someone else’s house, especially when you know it’s expensive and even more so when other stuff is able for use.

Toydrum · 31/10/2025 15:10

RafaFan · 31/10/2025 15:01

Do you leave a box of tissues in the guest bedroom, but expect guests not to use them? What about hand cream or shower gel? If they were in there, I expect she just thought you put them there for guests to use. And if she used a different one every day it's not like she was going to totally clean you out of perfume. I think in future just remove them from the room if you don't want guests to use them.

Not the same thing at all.

U53rName · 31/10/2025 15:10

honeylulu · 31/10/2025 15:02

I'm usually very keen to declare CFery but I'm not so sure here. I can see why a guest might think items left on display in the guest room were free to use. I can see why there might be confusion between you thinking the closed glass cabinet made it clear that the perfumes were display only. Whilst she thought the glass front showing the perfumes was an invitation to help herself.

I did once have a Christmas party where I served buffet food from the kitchen table where there was a stack of ordinary plates to use. I was a bit shocked when one guest (workmates boorish husband) went into the dining room and took a plate out of our glass fronted dresser, presumably he just preferred a bit of bone China! These are only occasionally used "for posh" as they were a wedding present and I try to avoid everyday breakage risk. But I quickly ignored it as well, it's a plate, it's openly on display and plates are for eating off. But I kind of see how you feel.

Getting her money's worth is a horribly crass CF thing to say. What money???

Just as an aside I would not have used your perfume in that situation unless there was one I really wanted to try and then I woukd ask first. Honestly, its not as if you can have a discreet cheeky squirt because it's obvious when you come downstairs in a heavenly miasma.

I was a bit shocked when one guest (workmates boorish husband) went into the dining room and took a plate out of our glass fronted dresser, presumably he just preferred a bit of bone China! These are only occasionally used "for posh" as they were a wedding present and I try to avoid everyday breakage risk.

WTAF? Please tell me that the wife set him straight!

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 31/10/2025 15:09

If they were in the guest room I’d assume you put them there FOR guests to use… otherwise why would you put them there?

Generally items in guest rooms and bathrooms are for a guests’ enjoyment OP.

saffy2 · 31/10/2025 15:08

I think if they were in a room I was staying in o would probably assume they were spares. I would expect that your perfume would be kept in your bedroom or the bathroom to be honest. I wouldn’t expect that perfumes in a spare room aren’t to be touched.
i probably would have checked. But I don’t think she’s been rude or cheeky.

Whippetwonder · 31/10/2025 15:07

I hope she didn't open them

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 31/10/2025 15:06

That’s shocking behaviour!

candyfloss89 · 31/10/2025 15:06

Yes this! I think it's cheeky and surprised at the amount of people that think it's ok!

Yes, it's a guest room, but it's in your own home, not a hotel where consumables left in the room are for use by guests, as they are included in the room rate. At the very least she should have asked....you wouldn't make yourself a cup of tea or a sandwich in someone else's house without asking, would you?

ginasevern · 31/10/2025 15:05

Lunde · 31/10/2025 14:12

It's a bit odd to leave stuff you don't want touched in the guest room.

IMHO stuff that is put out in the guest's room then it's fair game to use - stuff you don't want touched goes in the bottom of the wardrobe

I don't have a guest bedroom but I do have a spare bedroom. I sometimes have people staying over and they sleep in that spare room. Like most normal people who live in ordinary houses, I also keep some personal items in that room. My guests would find it piss easy to differentiate between the towels I'd laid out on their bed and a bottle of shampoo for their use (which I would have told them about) and a personal collection in a glass cabinet. That's because they aren't fucking thick as shit or entitled and if they were in any doubt whatsoever, they'd at least have the good manners to ask.

Catpiece · 31/10/2025 15:05

I wouldn’t care less but then I’m not tight with stuff

U53rName · 31/10/2025 15:03

Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 15:00

Sorry, I’ve been out and didn’t expect so many (divided) replies!

So, our ‘guest room’ is just a spare room. It has built in wardrobes in it that are full of mine and my husband’s clothes. There’s a treadmill in there lol, a bed, two sets of bedside cabinets and this tall, oak cabinet with the glass door with my perfumes in. I would love to move the cabinet into our main bedroom but there isn’t anywhere it can really comfortably go.

I will definitely be removing my perfumes from the cabinet (except maybe a few cheaper ones that I don’t really care if they get used) next time someone stays in that room though.

I appreciate we’re all different, but personally I get that a lot of peoples guest rooms are also used to store stuff day to day and I would never think that perfumes behind glass were for my use. In fact, I wouldn’t assume anything in a guest room is for my use except the bed and any towels/ toiletries left on the bed.

I always ensure that towels and shower gel, shampoo/ conditioner and a mini toothpaste are left on the bed for when guests arrive. It’s obvious those are fair game, but clothes etc in my wardrobe, no. Perfumes in a glass case, no.

I personally would never just help myself to perfume without asking, to me it’s rude.

And no, of course we didn’t charge them to stay Hmm her comment was just tounge in cheek.

Did she have the cheek to fire up the treadmill? 😂

honeylulu · 31/10/2025 15:02

I'm usually very keen to declare CFery but I'm not so sure here. I can see why a guest might think items left on display in the guest room were free to use. I can see why there might be confusion between you thinking the closed glass cabinet made it clear that the perfumes were display only. Whilst she thought the glass front showing the perfumes was an invitation to help herself.

I did once have a Christmas party where I served buffet food from the kitchen table where there was a stack of ordinary plates to use. I was a bit shocked when one guest (workmates boorish husband) went into the dining room and took a plate out of our glass fronted dresser, presumably he just preferred a bit of bone China! These are only occasionally used "for posh" as they were a wedding present and I try to avoid everyday breakage risk. But I quickly ignored it as well, it's a plate, it's openly on display and plates are for eating off. But I kind of see how you feel.

Getting her money's worth is a horribly crass CF thing to say. What money???

Just as an aside I would not have used your perfume in that situation unless there was one I really wanted to try and then I woukd ask first. Honestly, its not as if you can have a discreet cheeky squirt because it's obvious when you come downstairs in a heavenly miasma.

RafaFan · 31/10/2025 15:01

Do you leave a box of tissues in the guest bedroom, but expect guests not to use them? What about hand cream or shower gel? If they were in there, I expect she just thought you put them there for guests to use. And if she used a different one every day it's not like she was going to totally clean you out of perfume. I think in future just remove them from the room if you don't want guests to use them.

U53rName · 31/10/2025 15:01

Our “guest room” doubles as a WFH space—we’re not a hotel, so we don’t have a room that sits empty all year, waiting for guests! Does this mean that guests should feel entitled to fire up my printer and do what they want with my computer, desk, and shelves?

Toydrum · 31/10/2025 15:01

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 11:08

If you don't want a guest to use something, don't leave it on display in your guest room! Not like it's clothes in a wardrobe and she hasn't taken any of the bottles home with her.

Completely disagree.

Original poster
Iloveleaveinconditioner · 31/10/2025 15:00

Sorry, I’ve been out and didn’t expect so many (divided) replies!

So, our ‘guest room’ is just a spare room. It has built in wardrobes in it that are full of mine and my husband’s clothes. There’s a treadmill in there lol, a bed, two sets of bedside cabinets and this tall, oak cabinet with the glass door with my perfumes in. I would love to move the cabinet into our main bedroom but there isn’t anywhere it can really comfortably go.

I will definitely be removing my perfumes from the cabinet (except maybe a few cheaper ones that I don’t really care if they get used) next time someone stays in that room though.

I appreciate we’re all different, but personally I get that a lot of peoples guest rooms are also used to store stuff day to day and I would never think that perfumes behind glass were for my use. In fact, I wouldn’t assume anything in a guest room is for my use except the bed and any towels/ toiletries left on the bed.

I always ensure that towels and shower gel, shampoo/ conditioner and a mini toothpaste are left on the bed for when guests arrive. It’s obvious those are fair game, but clothes etc in my wardrobe, no. Perfumes in a glass case, no.

I personally would never just help myself to perfume without asking, to me it’s rude.

And no, of course we didn’t charge them to stay Hmm her comment was just tounge in cheek.

OP posts:
ChocolateCinderToffee · 31/10/2025 15:00

I wouldn't blame her for trying one or two but to talk about 'getting her money's worth' is beyond vulgar!

Wingingit73 · 31/10/2025 14:59

Personally i wouldn't touch them but maybe put them in your room..

shootingstar001 · 31/10/2025 14:57

Honestly what is wrong with some of the people on this thread? Course it's cheeky, it's cheeky AF.

If you are hosting someone you should not be expected to remove every single thing from your own bedroom that you don't want them to use. Should OP have emptied out her whole wardrobe? Taken all her makeup and cosmetics out?

But most people wouldn't do that because one would assume that you wouldn't have to explain to another adult not use those things! It's just common sense and common decency.

Perfume is expensive, sometimes a few hundred a bottle. It not exactly fair game to just use up everyday.

A bit of the shower gel in the bathroom - Fair game
Someone expensive makeup, perfume, SPF, nice clothes and bags etc - not fair game!

Bonbon249 · 31/10/2025 14:54

I find the 'getting my money's worth' comment a bit odd - did they actually pay to stay with you? I wouldn't assume that perfume on display in a guest room was for guest use, not if it was in a glass cabinet. As for OP not recognising the perfumes, perfumes smell slightly different on different people so it might not have registered with OP what she was smelling.

AngelicKaty · 31/10/2025 14:46

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 31/10/2025 14:37

Must be familiar to you.

I don't. However I do want guests to feel at home and put out a range of toiletries for them to use.

Show quote history

Perfume is not "toiletries". Most hotels provide complimentary (in the sense that their provision has already been factored into the room price) toiletries, but they don't provide perfume.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 31/10/2025 14:41

I was torn but decided to vote Yanbu as it IS a bit rude.

However, a few squirts over a week when you have multiple bottles is really nothing to worry about. Also, they were on display in the guest room, which someone might reasonably understand to mean they’re on offer to guests. It would be a very different story if she’d come into your bedroom or bathroom and used perfume from there.