AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

Yes, most surely true 💚

Cheeky fucker

everything I put in our guest room is for guests to use - shower gel, shampoo, body moisturiser - whether it's in the shower or in the bathroom cabinet. I think you can't get too fussed - if she'd thought she wasn't supposed to use it she wouldn't have merrily mentioned it!

Curious to know what is a CF?

I wouldn’t. They were in a glass cabinet, so behind glass, rather than just being on an open shelf. You’d have to go in the cabinet, to get them out.

Exactly. Having loads open at a time and in the light just means they go off. I threw out hundreds of pounds worth of expensive perfumes after MIL died because of this, they had all gone to smell like cheap aftershave. ☹️

except that because it's not a hotel, it's rare to have a mini bar or to expect to make yourself tea/ coffee or have a bottle of wine in your room 😂

However, it's so usual and normal for most people to leave all kind of toiletries for their guests, or at worst to share, that it's not unreasonable or surprising that someone would think the perfume was for the guests.

If you display 15 perfumes in a guest room, most people will think they are unwanted, you don't use them yourself.

As they are displayed in a cabinet, in the guest room, I would take that as a signal that they were there for use of the guest.

Absolutely! I do actually leave some nice Molten Brown shower gels etc out in the guest bathroom, and expect guests to help themselves. I've never actually told them to, but assume they'd feel comfortable enough to do so if they wanted to. Might need to be more explicit after having read this thread! 😅

Well, they are though. Just a lot more expensive!

Mind you, I'm sure I can find some expensive high-end shower gel too if I look hard enough!

I think what this thread has shown the OP is that there is a massive mix of opinions, so it's harsh to be too cross with the guest when loads of us on here don't see it as an issue.

Perfumes are not "consumable" in the way toothpaste and shower gel are. At all. They are often-expensive luxuries one should know better than to help oneself to.

Chateau Lafite is consumable, too, but if I happened to store my multi-thousand-pound wine in the guest room cabinet, the guest would be wrong to drink it.

I don't know where people are getting the notion that it's ever OK to open doors, drawers and cabinets in someone else's house. It's not a hotel.

That wouldn't be the same thing at all. Perfumes are consumables clothes are not.

So if she had some bone china "on display in the guest room," (which I dispute; it was a closed storage cabinet) or perhaps jewelry, or valuable coins, or old bottles of costly wine, it would have been OK for the guest to reach in and help herself? Just because the items were in relative proximity to the bed the guest was allocated for a couple of nights?

I find that bizarre. £xx/ounce perfume is not the same as toothpaste or shampoo. To me it's akin to jewelry, expensive handbags, silk scarves and other accessories I wouldn't dream of helping myself to. Or high-priced collectibles such as coins or wine.

While I dont think you're being entirely unreasonable you did leave them on display in a guest room. If you didn't want them to be used then you should have put them away for the duration of the visit. I can't see the point in saving perfume as the fragrance does go off.

I did this once! There was some lovely bath stuff in a guest bathroom where I was staying for the night. It hasn't been used before but it was there in the bathroom so I didn't hesitate to use some in my bath. I commented to my host how lovely it was and she looked a bit shocked, said her son had given it to her as a present. She recovered VERY quickly and told me it was absolutely fine when I apologised but I definitely caught her look of surprise. So I sympathise with your guest! I might have sampled the perfumes kindly left by my host!

I absolutely wouldn't use perfumes in a guest room, but I don't think it's unreasonable for her to have used them, as they were on display - it's an easy mistake to make.

I have a trolley in my guest ensuite, full of toiletries, face masks, candles etc. plus hair dryer, fluffy socks, slippers, dressing gowns, hot water bottle, a basket of snacks and drinks etc. - all for guests to use. I do make it clear that people should help themselves though!

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I would always take my own toiletries whoever I went.

I think she’s cheeky but did the same as a 9 year old when I visited a relatives bathroom , naively not realizing they would smell it on me!

You are not being unreasonable. The perfumes belong to you, not random.guests. what a cheeky cow! Just because they're on display in a cabinet, it does not give guest the right to use them. She would be going in my bad books.

Why not? Genuine question, it’s not something I’ve thought about as it’s just squeezed out of a tube!

Fair enough. Clearly there are a variety of opinions. I don't expect to take my own shampoo anywhere or anyone to bring any to mine unless they were particularly fussy about a particular type.

If someone asked me if they could use something in the bathroom I'd just be a bit embarrassed I hadn't welcomed them fully by making it clear they should make themselves at home and use whatever they want to.

I wouldn’t share toothpaste either. 😷

I would still ask first to use someone else’s shampoo, with an apology that I’ve left mine at home by mistake.