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Original poster

What would have been a sharp reply to this?

117 replies

2cubesoficeandasliceoflime · 31/10/2025 09:06

I've lived all over the UK and have a fairly neutral accent which some people interpret as posh (it isn't) but sometimes I use colloquialisms that people dont expect because of it.

I was organising some food. I had referred to it as the "evening meal" just because that was what the menu said. I was speaking to one of the delegates that I dont know and said about having "tea". He looked down his nose at me and said "do you mean dinner? Tea is something you drink". This was in front of quite a lot of people and some sniggered. I just muttered something about the evening meal.

Ive a feeling this wont be the only time Ill experience this about how I talk so what would have have been a sharp but professional reply? Im not the quickest at retorts and when Im put on the spot like that I stumble over my words.

A tinkly laugh/did you mean to be so rude etc aren't particularly sharp.

Im not going to change how I talk. I shouldnt have to. He knew exactly what I was talking about and was just trying (and succeeding) in embarassing me. I can see that certain words/phrases might need to be explained.

This isnt meant to be a discussion about why "dinner" is correct.

(BTW I also use toilet and HATE loo and will never use it).

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 31/10/2025 13:12

"Interesting... Every day is a school day. So what do you call 'Afternoon Tea' then Crispin? Do you drink scones and clotted cream?"

Zimunya · 31/10/2025 13:11

isthesolution · 31/10/2025 10:03

Apologies - I forget other people don’t understand regional differences. I didn’t mean to make you feel inferior for not understanding - I would never do something like that.

Brilliant!

Vaguelyclassical · 31/10/2025 13:10

I know Mumsnet is not friendly to Americanisms, but there is a phrase that is wonderfully useful over there and it would be nice if it could cross the Atlantic. "Why, bless your heart!" (it has to be said sweetly in a fairly Deep South accent). It can translate to anything from "You have just said something deeply stupid" to "Fuck you.")

Zimunya · 31/10/2025 13:09

SeaAndStars · 31/10/2025 09:35

He sounds like a right arse and the people who laughed are no better.
If I'd have been one of them I'd have said, "Deary me Terry, don't be such an arse". I think he'd lost the right to professionalism when he acted like a pillock.

"do you mean dinner? Tea is something you drink".
"No, I mean tea. You might drink tea dear, but I prefer champagne."

A loud tut, an eye roll and a walk away is probably the best solution.

Love this as a retort!

OP - he was a dick.

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 13:08

Rictasmorticia · 31/10/2025 10:07

Maybe say,” Thank you Professor Higgins”

I like this. It’s humorous and a sly dig at him but also letting him know you’re not easily cowed.

To me tea is either cold or something along the lines of fish fingers and chips. I can’t envisage tea being filet mignon.

EverardDeTroyes · 31/10/2025 13:06

Im not sure it is just about regional variations. Calling it tea in a formal work situation is a bit like an adult referring to their abdomen as their tummy. Just use professional language when in a professional setting.

Those of who call it tea, I'm interested if, say, you went out for your evening meal, would you say 'John and I went to a lovely restaurant for tea' or would you say dinner in that sentence? Also, is John a dinner date or a tea date?

RoseWilderLane · 31/10/2025 13:06

He was very rude OP.

On a side note, I'm not from the UK and call it "supper". Tea is scones and cucumber sandwiches. Can cause a messy misunderstanding when I invite people for tea!

Think you were incredibly restrained!

Merryoldgoat · 31/10/2025 13:04

@Notmyreality you sound like my kind of person

5128gap · 31/10/2025 13:03

In a professional setting, steady eye contact and cool literal reply "Tea can be used to refer to a meal as well as a drink. In this case, I thought it obvious I meant food, given thats what I'm offering you. I'm sorry you misunderstood"

Ooodelally · 31/10/2025 13:03

Rictasmorticia · 31/10/2025 10:07

Maybe say,” Thank you Professor Higgins”

This is much better than my suggestion which would have been, “no one likes a smart arse” lol

Notmyreality · 31/10/2025 13:01

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 31/10/2025 10:35

If you are eating as a group at an event I don't think it's ever called tea is it? Wherever in the country you happen to be hotels/ conference centres serve 'dinner'. I think tea is used regionally or colloquially to refer to the evening meal by individuals but the venue wouldcall it dinner.

It's never a good idea to be sharp with colleagues. Best to take him to one side and say how he made you feel. If he dismisses your feelings then complain about him.

“It’s never a good idea to be sharp with colleagues”
Depends if you want to be disrespected and walked all over the rest of your life. It’s such female way to handle things, and doesn’t work in the way you think it will. If you take him aside he will say all the right words and as soon as your back is turned will talk shit about you for being soft and weak. If you actually want respect from him and your colleagues call him out on the spot and make it clear his comment is unacceptable.

Friendlygingercat · 31/10/2025 12:58

"Only an oik would correct someone at a social event, sonny"

Deliverd in best teacher voice.

Notmyreality · 31/10/2025 12:53

YodasHairyButt · 31/10/2025 12:45

I find calling it supper quite pretentious, I don’t know why 🤷‍♀️

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I agree with both of these which is why I’ve always called it dinner. And I’m from up north where everyone calls it tea. Each to their own.

Notmyreality · 31/10/2025 12:52

Merryoldgoat · 31/10/2025 09:58

And this kind of reasoning is why there are hundreds of women on here being treated terribly by people all the time.

Funnily enough no one tries shit like this with me more than once and I have more friends than I can keep up with.

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Exactly. Sometimes you have to stick your head above the parapet and stop worrying about what other people think. Set some boundaries and people will respect you.

YodasHairyButt · 31/10/2025 12:45

Chess101 · 31/10/2025 12:42

I find calling it ‘tea’ sounds very uneducated. I don’t know why, it just does. It has always been supper to me.

I find calling it supper quite pretentious, I don’t know why 🤷‍♀️

Chess101 · 31/10/2025 12:42

I find calling it ‘tea’ sounds very uneducated. I don’t know why, it just does. It has always been supper to me.

PerkyCyanPoet · 31/10/2025 12:34

“Wow, really? Good to know..”

GoldenPineapple15 · 31/10/2025 12:34

I am a Northerner living in the South . I am a teacher and the kids often tease me in a good natured way . I say either , “ hey , I have just increased your cultural capital “ ( a buzz word in our school ) or “ yup. I only came down South to learn you lot how to speak proper ! “

Ultravox · 31/10/2025 12:32

Redpeach · 31/10/2025 10:08

Its also the last letter of see you next tuesday

Love this one!

Makemineacosmo · 31/10/2025 12:29

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 31/10/2025 10:35

If you are eating as a group at an event I don't think it's ever called tea is it? Wherever in the country you happen to be hotels/ conference centres serve 'dinner'. I think tea is used regionally or colloquially to refer to the evening meal by individuals but the venue wouldcall it dinner.

It's never a good idea to be sharp with colleagues. Best to take him to one side and say how he made you feel. If he dismisses your feelings then complain about him.

He was sharp with her, in front of others. He tried to make a fool of her. Not saying anything at the time makes it look like she accepts this shitty behaviour.

TeaBoxFlower · 31/10/2025 12:19

"Aren't regional dialects interesting? In my neck of the woods dinner is served at noon. You'll have to watch out for that if you head north of Watford"

Dontlletmedownbruce · 31/10/2025 12:16

'Well it's known as tea in some places. Have you not travelled much yourself Dave? '

(Spotlight back on him)

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 31/10/2025 12:10

I’d make out that they are ignorantly rude. “Well, language is a bit more diverse than that, isn’t it? People use different words depending on where they have lived. So when you correct people, you may be the one that seems wrong.”

Or, if you want to pretend he’s not a twat but rather a source of silly amusement, say, “Ah! You’re one of the sconn / scohn barm cake / tea cake arguers that one sees on Facebook, aren’t you!”

Or, most damning of all: “Have you ever travelled outside of [the M25 / Suffolk etc]?

brunettemic · 31/10/2025 12:09

“No, I meant tea, that’s why I said tea”. Why does it have to be anything else?
Of course you could then add “you pompous prick, f*ck off” but that’s entirely optional.

SprayWhiteDung · 31/10/2025 11:53

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 31/10/2025 11:28

Dinner is at 12 and tea is 5/6, at tea time

Reaction would have been yep, always been tea in my house, i'm a northerner

Dr Google says: Some people call their evening meal "tea" due to regional differences and class distinctions, particularly in northern and working-class parts of the UK, where the term has roots in the time when the main meal was eaten at midday. Historically, the evening meal was a lighter, later meal accompanied by tea, and this usage persisted in these communities even as the main evening meal migrated to a later time, while more affluent and southern regions typically used the word "dinner" for the evening meal.

...but Google could just as easily have said "Some people call their evening meal "dinner" due to regional differences and class distinctions, particularly in southern and middle OR working-class parts of the UK"

Only an arsehole (like your man Dave here) tries to belittle people who call it by a different name from themselves - either way around; but I hate it how many of those who call it dinner naturally assume that they are universally right and others must therefore be wrong.

To me, it has overtones of the kind of person who will laugh at a foreigner's pronunciation of English, even though they themselves wouldn't know a single word in the other person's language.