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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you feel you’ve wasted your time on threads where the OP never updates?

65 replies

Toydrum · 31/10/2025 08:59

Isn’t it a waste of time and energy? It’s a shame really because I see some really considerate and caring replies.

At what point do you give up on a thread?

OP posts:
Original poster
Toydrum · 31/10/2025 09:11

FrenchandSaunders · 31/10/2025 09:09

Is this about the bloke who may have been spiked?

Not just that one but I am certainly interested to know how he is and what caused it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Toydrum · 31/10/2025 09:10

rainbowunicorn · 31/10/2025 09:08

No, its not really that important. I use mumsnet as a drop in, have a look make a few comments if I feel I have anything to contribute and then leave. I don't really think about it in between. I assume the OP has read replies and got the answers / info they needed and the carried on with their day. Without checking i probably couldn't tell you any threads I have replied to in the last week.
I think some some people tend to be on all day and get quite upset when they feel that they are giving advice and not getting engagement back from the OP but it genuinely baffles me that they feel that way.

Interesting. I think I just want some kind of wrap up/end. I do know this is unrealistic.

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 31/10/2025 09:09

Is this about the bloke who may have been spiked?

rainbowunicorn · 31/10/2025 09:08

No, its not really that important. I use mumsnet as a drop in, have a look make a few comments if I feel I have anything to contribute and then leave. I don't really think about it in between. I assume the OP has read replies and got the answers / info they needed and the carried on with their day. Without checking i probably couldn't tell you any threads I have replied to in the last week.
I think some some people tend to be on all day and get quite upset when they feel that they are giving advice and not getting engagement back from the OP but it genuinely baffles me that they feel that way.

Original poster
Toydrum · 31/10/2025 09:07

TimeForTeaAndG · 31/10/2025 09:05

I do sometimes wonder how a thread gets to like 15 pages of replies when the OP gave a vague initial post and then hasn't returned to clarify anything. I generally Watch a thread and then use the See Next option to skip through the OPs posts so I know if they haven't returned. Depending how long it's been I remove it from my list if the OP hasn't come back.

Yes, that’s what I do now. It rankles a bit and I know it shouldn’t. I suppose I do get invested.

Maybe I should stick to humorous threads.

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 31/10/2025 09:07

Yeah I used the See All button and if the op hasn't been back I generally don't bother.

CremeEggThief · 31/10/2025 09:05

Kind of to be honest, but also think IABU when I think it, as nobody HAS to give an update. But I get what you mean OP.

EveryMeandEveryYou · 31/10/2025 09:05

I do think there are some bots, teens or AI posters and I don't really mind if I get taken in and respond. If it's goady or the replies get nasty and the OP doesn't clarify something that could save it turning into a pointless bunfight then yes, I might feel a bit like it was irresponsible or posted in bad faith.

Generally I think of people who want to read the thread as well as the OP, so if my post helps someone else in some way then that's the main aim.

Original poster
Toydrum · 31/10/2025 09:05

PollyBell · 31/10/2025 09:03

Well half are probably not real but I dont think we can point that out no matter how obvious

Good point. I agree. I must keep reminding myself!

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 31/10/2025 09:05

I do sometimes wonder how a thread gets to like 15 pages of replies when the OP gave a vague initial post and then hasn't returned to clarify anything. I generally Watch a thread and then use the See Next option to skip through the OPs posts so I know if they haven't returned. Depending how long it's been I remove it from my list if the OP hasn't come back.

Original poster
Toydrum · 31/10/2025 09:04

cramptramp · 31/10/2025 09:02

No. I don’t care.

Yeah, I probably shouldn’t to be fair.

OP posts:
PollyBell · 31/10/2025 09:03

Well half are probably not real but I dont think we can point that out no matter how obvious

cramptramp · 31/10/2025 09:02

No. I don’t care.

Original poster
Toydrum · 31/10/2025 09:02

Leaveittogod · 31/10/2025 09:01

I didn’t realise people got that invested? If your at the point where something like this is affecting your life that much then MN probably isn’t for you

That’s not what I said, at all.

OP posts:
Leaveittogod · 31/10/2025 09:01

I didn’t realise people got that invested? If your at the point where something like this is affecting your life that much then MN probably isn’t for you