Do you feel you’ve wasted your time on threads where the OP never updates?

I’ve taken to checking if poster replies before reading all the replies

If I'm late to a long thread I always check the ops posts first and if s/he hasn't replied i don't generally bother adding anything.

I think it depends. When someone has asked for active advice on something (how do I get stains out, etc) I think it's common courtesy to come back and thank those giving advice. When it's something more emotional with lots of variations and degrees of answer and emotions are clearly running high - then I tend to think that if the OP doesn't come back , at least the answers might be of use to someone else in the same boat. It's not a running commentary on life, it's a momentary snapshot.

I sometimes feel really guilty when I post something, go to work and come back to loads of replies that I couldn't answer, even when it was an observation rather than a question, and I'm happy to see that other posters have gone off on tangents and are having conversations among themselves!

I do feel a bit sorry for OPs when the thread has not gone how they’ve wanted so they disappear (I assume). But tbh I tend to see that as the main kind of thread where op doesn’t come back. I quite enjoy threads where the discussion is taken along without the op and an interesting debate occurs - but it’s only interesting if you’re there when it’s happening. Not enjoyable to arrive to a 15 page thread of others debating when you’d like to join but know it has moved on.

OP didn't say that OPs must return to their thread.

She is talking about her leaving a thread because of the lack of engagement from the OP, which is perfectly valid.

If you hang around on a thread waiting for the OP, then I suggest you're the one who is over-invested. Leaving a thread is perfectly fine.

If someone asks for advice because they are in a difficult situation they should not feel beholden to update. Probably shit is going on in their lives.

I do similar. Annoying when it happens though.

https://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/spiked-reform-councillor-when-i-collapsed-the-bedroom-doo-329693/#:~:text=A%20visit%20to%20his%20GP,take%20control%20of%20your%20body.%22
@Toydrum this is the guy I thought of with the other thread

YANBU, if it's a long thread, I check if the OP has come back. If not, I don't add to the thread.

I think people either

(i) don't like the responses and do a flounce (cough Asda own brand juice cough)
(ii) are in a bad place and can't face replying, especially when there are loads of posts
(iii) can't be bothered

It isn’t up to you to say whether MN is for others or not.
Needlessly rude comment and the sort of thing which puts people off posting.
I have often noticed this type of nastiness is the first reply which makes me wonder if some people lie in wait for an opportunity to be horrible and hope to encourage a pile on.
MN has said it does not like this and advised such posts should be reported so that frequent offenders can be monitored so I have just done so.

I once opened a thread about work problems. I was on the floor and people helped and I thanked the ones who did in one post because I didn’t have the energy to thank them all and was crying too hard. I then left the thread and was happy afterwards I didn’t go back as when I searched it when I’d changed jobs two people had decided I must be an idiot, was ruining life for my work col, was similar to their work colleagues (who were also idiots and cunts apparently!) and needed to stop ruining everything for everyone and just learn quicker and start trying because I obviously wasn’t. If I had read that at the time I honestly would have fallen apart. Had I answered them I couldn’t have put my point across well enough to have not been eaten alive. So bear in mind that sometimes an op has gotten something off their chest but just doesn’t have the ability to say anything

Meh… its not Eastenders and you’re not entitled to constant updates.

I actually find it really annoying when people get ridiculously over invested and keep coming back to say: “Any news OP?”.

Particularly on the threads which involve suspected infidelity. There’s something a bit creepy to my mind about the people who are so involved in the breakdown of an anonymous person’s marriage that they can’t tear themselves away.

Threads have general value because they raise interesting moral and philosophical questions and issues. Take them as they come.

I think it’s spot on. It’s a public forum. You don’t know these people and you’re not entitled to anything from them.

Sometimes when OPs don't engage/ continue, the thread may be of use to other people in similar situations.

If it's something more niche or lengthy, I'll check "see all OP's" posts to see how the thread progressed.

There was one this morning asking about older sibling looking after younger siblings that was started a few days ago and lacked useful information like how long for. No point in engaging when half the information is missing.

Sometimes just by posting, it helps sort people's thoughts and the replies may not be the essential part (to the OP)

It's up to people responding what they can invest in the thread.

What a stupid reply.

No, I never feel I’ve wasted my time. I’d never get over invested and the only time I spend on here is time I have to spare anyway.

People have a self inflated view of how important their views, opinions and posts are. It’s just a forum, most stuff will be made up anyway. The few threads that are real, you’re really not entitled to updates or an ending, they will actually be someone’s real life, not a tv series.

I think if you do feel in any way annoyed or something that you’ve wasted your time, then you should probably step away.

I do find it weird that OP will write out a long heartfelt post and have lots of advice from people and never return. My guess is that they don't like what they are reading.

There seem to be many threads that are just started for a debate and the OP contributes nothing, I always think they must be lazy journos looking for conteent.

Frequently. And I wonder even more when there’s 200+ answers and not a single reply from OP. I don’t understand why people bother responding.

I almost instinctively check if the OP has returned to the thread after reading the post. If not, I might read a few of the replies then forget about it.

I think some some people tend to be on all day and get quite upset when they feel that they are giving advice and not getting engagement back from the OP but it genuinely baffles me that they feel that way.

I know. Like they don't seem to conceive that others might be busy working, dealing with kids, at the pub, whatever. Sometimes it happens even when the OP has stated they won't be able to check back until they're back from work or whatever.

I saw a local Reform councillor saying his friends spiked his drink in our paper. I was quite confused as to why he would admit his mates think that is funny, have the drugs and why they would want to do that to him unless he was an absolute bellend. I think he thought he was showing he could empathise with women who had been drugged, but it came across that he was hanging out with the ones who perpetrated these crimes and even they didn't like him.

No, it's not Netflix.

Sometimes it would be interesting to knowhowthings worked out, but if a post and its replies has made me think about things, I don't think it's really a waste of time. There are a lot more people reading and sometimes contributing than just the OP.

I do wonder a little at the posters who revive a years old zombie thread to say, "you should do this," when probably the OP has either got an entirely new house/job/relationship/is cured/dead/ problem child/neighbour ling since mived out or whatever.

And also those who come in to a long thread to say, "you should do this," and clearly haven't even read the OP's posts to see the update that said, "I did this, and then this is what happened next," making the response irrelevant. That is surely more of a waste of time and energy, and if posters can't be arsed to read even the OP's later posts, let alone an entire long thread, I don't see the point of posting at all on it. But clearly others think differently.

It’s probably fake anyway.

Something I do find annoying which I have literally just done, is when I can't find a thread I have commented on. So, I have just seen a thread about using titanium chopping boards, which I assume is an ad posted for sales (more annoying than the no show ones I feel), with loads saying just use wood, more hygenic, less knife blunting etc. I then thought of a thread asking which Christmas gifts you actually enjoy getting. I wanted to go back and post on that that a wooden chopping board is an idea as I love the thick real wood ones you can often get at fetes or on holiday but always forget to get them for myself. That thread has disappeared completely from my history! How and why? Hardly going to be a bunfight on that one, surely?