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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel hurt that my mum bought me cheaper items than she would buy for herself

366 replies

paintbynumberss · 30/10/2025 23:28

My mum has behaved in some hurtful ways in the past so I'm unsure if my judgement is being clouded by past experiences of her.

I had £1.21 in my bank account today (pay day is tomorrow) and no food in the house so my mum kindly brought around a small bag of basics - chicken, bread, salad, juice etc - to tide me over until tomorrow. My mum is fairly well off (as in she has a couple of holidays each year, she drives a high end car bought nearly new, owns a good sized house in the countryside with no mortgage) but isn't ostentatiously so.

The juice she bought for me was Asda's own brand. I'm perfectly happy with own brand, it's what I buy for myself. It tastes the same to me, and I'm single and living alone on quite a low income. I don't see the point of spending more than you have to on juice. However my mum would not buy own brand juice for herself - she buys Copella or Innocent, depending on what's on offer. She is comfortable shopping at M&S for her food shop also, whereas apart from a few items here and there, M&S is out of my budget.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt that my mum bought me cheaper items that she wouldn't buy for herself? I would understand if she couldn't afford to buy two people branded juice but I know she can afford it. As I say, my point isn't branded vs own brand per say but that I feel hurt that she would buy her daughter cheaper items than she would buy for herself. I experience it as an insinuation that I'm not as worthy of the quality that she is. I don't have children yet but when I do I'd want to give them the best that I could. AIBU?

OP posts:
KittyEckersley · 30/10/2025 23:44

What sort of own brand juice did she buy? If it’s chilled, I think yabu. I don’t think there’s a massive taste difference.

If it’s the one in the non-refrigerated section yanbu. Unless that’s what you usually get, in which case she might think you prefer it because it lasts longer.

strangeandfamiliar · 30/10/2025 23:44

Goodness, what a whiny, self-pitying post. I'm Team Mum on this one. Buy your own juice in future!

Starzinsky · 30/10/2025 23:43

She bought you what you normally have, quite considerate she noticed the type you usually choose, and really ungrateful of you to complain. Maybe next time she should just leave you to stave to avoid the risk of offending you.

KimuraTan · 30/10/2025 23:43

Doughtie · 30/10/2025 23:34

I don't know. I think there's a risk that if she'd bought you all M&S and branded it might have come over a bit Lady Bountiful.

This exactly - she may have thought she’s rubbing your nose in it.

i say this with a lot of kindness but please get a grip of yourself and be grateful for your lovely and kind Mum. You come across as really entitled and surly.

Brenda34 · 30/10/2025 23:41

How old are you and your mum?
How long will she need to be bailing you out if you cannot make ends meet?
What are your plans to meet your own needs in the future?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/10/2025 23:40

It’s not like this was your birthday gift and she’s cheaper out on something rubbish. You’re being really ungrateful.

bebopalula111 · 30/10/2025 23:39

If it’s what you buy yourself then you are unreasonable.
if budget is tight I’d say juice is a luxury. Diluting juice is more economical and a bottle at the same price as your own band fresh juice will last longer.

Poppyseeds79 · 30/10/2025 23:38

She's not doing her own weekly shop here though? Presumably she nipped into the store, whizzed around and grabbed you the items to drop off for you. I doubt she was browsing for Best value offers?... "Oh, juice paintbynumberss drinks" (pop it in basket).

TheChosenTwo · 30/10/2025 23:36

the woman can’t win!
if she’d splashed out on expensive juice there could equally have been the flip side of this, “for the same price she could have bought 3 of the cheaper ones, what a waste, especially as I can’t taste the difference!!”
I think in your position I’d be grateful and never mention finances being tight ever again or ask for shopping from your mum.

Calliopespa · 30/10/2025 23:35

Doughtie · 30/10/2025 23:34

I don't know. I think there's a risk that if she'd bought you all M&S and branded it might have come over a bit Lady Bountiful.

I agree. I get the feeling op that you'd have taken offence at that too - that it was a high and mighty criticism of what you can normally afford.

Your mum did a nice thing. Let it be.

HangryBlueCritic · 30/10/2025 23:35

Wow. I mean seriously wow.

Doughtie · 30/10/2025 23:34

I don't know. I think there's a risk that if she'd bought you all M&S and branded it might have come over a bit Lady Bountiful.

Justcallmedaffodil · 30/10/2025 23:34

YABU.

You clearly told her you were struggling and rather than see you go without for a day, she went out of her way to bring you food and drink. Who cares if it was branded vs own brand. You say yourself you buy unbranded products so if she’d given you the money you’d have ended up with exactly the same things Confused Pick your battles, this isn’t the one.

ChampagneJen · 30/10/2025 23:33

I think I would feel the same way OP.

Calliopespa · 30/10/2025 23:32

OP this is so self-pitying and self-indulgent.

You were short of the wherewithal to buy your normal shop so your mum bought it and brought it round for you. By your own admission it's what you would buy.

You are essentially saying you wanted her not only to help you out, but to do so above and beyond what you would normally have.

If you look at everything in this glass half empty way you will live a miserable life.

MintDog · 30/10/2025 23:30

She bought you own brand because she's clearly noticed that's what you drink.

That's being thoughtful - buying you your normal, what she thinks you like, food/drink.

I think you're massively overthinking this. It's stranger that you come from a well off family but you're struggling? Are your finances low or out of control?

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