To feel hurt that my mum bought me cheaper items than she would buy for herself

The point is I’d never be in a situation where I only have £1 in my bank account because my parents wouldn’t let it happen

Well, I couldn't do that to my daughter, especially one that's struggling. However, the point that she maybe thought you prefer the own brand is a valid one.
Don't dwell on it, you'll drive yourself mad

Thinking a mum who helped her daughter out when asked is uncaring and unloving is quite an odd position to take IMO.

How would your mum feel if she sent you money and you said it wasn't enough or that the food she brought was too low quality? That's what many posters on here are being critical about, the ingratitude.

You must be new to MN as it is full of parents (and grandparents) helping out their children either financially or through childcare.

You are being massively unreasonable … and a bit bloody cheeky.

So mum buys you food because you have no money and will otherwise go hungry; but the food isn’t branded so you’re unhappy?

Good christ alive.

It may be cultural, but my parents would never let me struggle. If my mum knew I had no money, she’d send me some, on top of making enough food to feed a small army. Is the concept of caring for and loving your children, even if they are adults, a foreign thing on Mumsnet?

Often own brand is healthier too

”our parents aren’t obliged to help us in this way” Obligation doesn’t come into it for me, it’s instinct. I WANT to make sure my kids don’t go without. I once saw a quote “a mother is only ever as happy as her saddest child” and that is just so true for me.

I would personally just use my overdraft in this situation - or make a meal from stuff I already had in the house.

Also not the point of the thread but M&S basics are a good price. There’s lots of clips of it on TikTok - you might be surprised that things like bread, milk, beans, bananas are as cheap as they are in Aldi.

@Ilovecakey

People keep saying she brought you thd juice you usually have, but thd mum knows she us in a tight budget so clearly buys the cheapest one she can afford. She could have brought her a nicer one

OP: "I'm perfectly happy with own brand, it's what I buy for myself. It tastes the same to me"

So what's the problem? Doubtless mum is aware of OP's opinion

Exactly this. Parents aren't around forever.

@Min75 If it was the case that you shopped at M&S, I am sure she would have got the stuff from there.

That's how I'd see it. I would try to buy someone their usual brand of groceries because that's what they choose. I'm sure there are more expensive brands of some of my staples but they'd probably taste 'wrong' to me.

More expensive doesn't mean nicer. I buy the own brands of a lot of things

Op is a fully grown capable adult living independently.

How is she ever going to learn to budget effectively or manage alone if mummy is rushing around with bags of expensive shopping and bailing her out constantly?

Whilst I would do anything for my children, and we support them in everything they do, it is important they become fully functioning adults and not co dependent, needy adults unable to manage alone. Any parent cultivating this kind of set up needs to examine their motives.

Firstly yabu your mum bought you what you buy so like. Also how often does this happen that your mum is having to buy your shopping for you as that changes things to

Really incredibly entitled reaction to an act of kindness. You are not a child anymore op, she isn’t obliged to buy you anything, much less expensive shopping items.

You sound resentful of her comfort, but it’s up to you to get a better paid job or work 2/3 jobs as I did when young and find your own way through life.

Completely agree. All the “she’s done a lovely thing for you” rhetoric, no, she’s done something, that to me is just being a parent.
@Citygrl7 also completely agree, that’s how I am with my kids, and they in turn are the same.

It's not nasty to feel OP was being unreasonable and ungrateful to quibble over a carton of juice when her mum has bought her some shopping that OP asked for. Especially when she bought the brand that OP usually drinks and that OP has said she can't see the point of spending more on (probably something her mum is aware of). And out of the bag of shopping that was given to her the one thing that seems to have put OP's nose out of joint is some juice.

To ask someone for help and then get sniffy about that help is p*ss poor behaviour in my book.

She knows what you buy and she's bought you those same things. She is a very loving mum to help you out. I would be so grateful. I don't think she would go to M&S for you, as that's not your usual place to shop. If it was the case that you shopped at M&S, I am sure she would have got the stuff from there. Please see it as it is and be grateful for the support. Our parents aren't obliged to help us in this way, but the fact that she chooses to help is a godsend. It's only when we no longer have them in our lives that we truly appreciate the help and support we received.

I would’ve been grateful for her kindness. My advice is don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

In case anyone was wondering, I looked up the ingredients. (Yes I am bored.)

Asda Tangy and Smooth - orange juice
Innocent smooth - orange juice
Copella smooth - orange juice

To be honest no this is probably a savvy decision on her part. If she buys you luxury what do you have in life to strive for. If it were my parent they'd probably do the same. They might chuck in a treat along the way but the thoughtfulness of picking up some bits would be enough for me.

I think the past issues in the relationship with your mum are clouding your thinking here.

Exactly. She doesn’t see the point on spending more on juice than you have too ,unless it’s her mum . Her mum should spend more

OP - I don’t think the issue is about the brand of groceries she (very kindly) bought you. Someone with no food in their pantry would only be grateful for any help and wouldn’t be analyzing and critiquing the brand of food they’d recieved. I think the real issue is you feel resentment that your mother apparently has lots of money and is very comfortable, but doesn’t help you as much as you think she should (or as much as you believe you’re entitled to). It’s clearly a bigger issue but remember you have no “right” to her money or indeed how she chooses to spend it. Work out why you’re so short before each paycheck and make the changes necessary to afford the brand of groceries you want, rather than relying on handouts which clearly don’t meet your standards.