AIBU to miss my ex and feel bad for him?

Its likely no one else wants him like he’d hoped, so he’s bored/lonely/horny again. He’ll only do it again once he gets fed up. Don’t go back.

Hes the same guy he was when you moved out. Maybe sorry for himself if he wasnt as in demand as he hoped. If you take him back again youll just get back on the merrygoround

And you need to stop lying to yourself, its not that you feel bad saying no its that you want hin to try harder... and he wont. This is who he is so dont look away.

How he treated you is more important than how much you like him

He's probably feeling sorry for himself for some reason, maybe his love life is not as good as he hoped it would be and he's lonely. But whatever the reason is, it's not because he's seen the light and realised the error of his ways. He hasn't worked through whatever issues made him dump you callously in the first place. He doesn't care about you, only that you will boost his ego and keep him occupied for a while. Don't ever for one moment forgot how he treated you, it's how he will treat you again. Block and let it go

I think it's more than possible that his sudden revival of interest in you is down to the fact that you are about to move into your own place, and become more independent.

Sorry OP. Get settled in your new home and get on with your new life.

This is why I don't stay friends with exes or stay in contact with exes.

It's also why I don't tolerate or am very wary of a partner or someone I meet.Who is still friends with an ex. To clarify, if they have children together.That's something different.They should attempt to be civil and be friends for the sake of the children. But other than that, I think it's weird to stay friends or in contact with an ex.

All it does if you stay in contact with someone you re.No, longer with is blur, the boundaries, keep feelings alive.And it's so very easy to slip back into the old pattern of the relationship.

There need to be a very, very long period of time.After the breakup, before you can even consider being civil or friendly.With an ex, but by then, usually too much time has past and the ship has sailed on friendship.Anyway.

What you should have done is not speak to him at all after he ended it. Block him if you have to.

He's playing with your feelings. I have no doubt that he misses you.But that doesn't mean this relationship is workable. He's already ended it once and you got back together. And you've broken up again. That suggests that whatever problems from the first breakup weren't remedied, or he just doesn't feel strongly enough for you.

Please don't listen to him.Please don't get back together with him.Just cut it off and block him. All that will happen is you ll be back together for another few months.Maybe even a year, and it will end again. By that time you could have met somebody else and be a year into a new relationship.

Best of luck.

Oh op. It sounds like you will never be enough for him.

Your better than that. You deserve someone who thinks your amazing and worth your weight in gold.

It’s also worth putting this into ChatGPT. I know there are strong views on this here and others may disagree!
I found it helpful to add the specifics of my situation as it gave me a proper head shake. Also helped me maintain no contact with very good justifications about why my ex wouldn’t change.

It's normal to miss someone you once cared about and lived with. But don't feel guilty FGS! It's his own stupid fault. If he's hurting and thinks he's fucked up that's his problem to deal with now. Stop talking to this mess of a man and don't let him make you feel bad.

I totally get that.
But you will feel SO empowered living by yourself!
We don’t need men to validate us, we are so strong as women.
I absolutely guarantee you will look back on this period of your life in years to come, and think what the fuck was I thinking?

He sounds boring btw

i think he is jealous of you moving on and being fabulous with your new home and wants to steal your moment and make it all about him and his dramas- yawn. Get planning your house warming and I hope you get a pink front door 😀

‘I’m having a mental health struggle, you’re not being supportive, I need some alone time’ is part of ‘the script’ everyone I know who has been left for an affair partner has been told this exact thing. It’s a socially acceptable reason for them to have some space while they check if the grass is greener.

Op you can still love him and wish him well, from afar. You have tried your best and given him a second chance. He will do this again to you. Don’t waste your life on him. I strongly recommend blocking him.
i really think he’s had other options to explore to see if the grass is greener and is using you for an ego boost when it didn’t work out with the other person/people - he wants something old and familiar and comfortable and easy. Yuck.

however, if you DID ever decide (against your better judgement) to give this a go, at minimum I would require 1. A public apology and declaration of his love for you. Like Facebook status, his family group chat etc - ‘op is the love of my life and I miss her and will always love her’ - like Louise Thompson did to beg for Sam back after she cheated on him. And 2- he needs to put his money where his mouth is somehow - buying you expensive jewelry, signing over some of his flat to you, booking a trip for you etc - something serious -my examples aren’t quite right but you need it to work like a deposit so you can keep it if he goes away again. Would he do this to show he is serious?

But just remember that twice this man has had you as his loyal gf in love with him, and he has rejected you and kicked you out of the home you share together. I think you’d have more luck on tinder then trying him again.

Again!
Just go to bed luv!
We are done here 😂

For the final time, ‘luv’. I’ve apologised to the person who I needed to apologise to. I owe you nothing.

Look luv.
You said something really shit.
Just own up to it and move on.
OP you have totally got this, it’s so normal to have a wobble now you are making a major move in your life.
But you are worth so much more than him, you will meet someone down the line that is worthy of you, as hard as that may be to believe it right now x

theres A really (really) good podcast about exactly this dynamic, the name and jingle are cringe but the content is really worth a listen, I think it would help you make sense iv why you keep wanting to go back

https://spotify.link/xGpObw1GTXb

Ignore the condescending wankers on this thread and just take care of yourself, this guy has shown you he is not able to relax in connection, he will keep finding it too uncomfortable and letting you down.

I’ve apologised to op if what I said upset her. Why are you incapable of not derailing the thread?

He’s broken your heart twice, he will do it a third time if you let him. I promise he hasn’t been feeling as sad about blocking you as you feel about not meeting him for a drink. This man will string you along for years if you let him. Don’t waste any more of your life on someone who’s not sure. The right man will be excited to be with you, not making you move out and blocking you. Please don’t let him keep treating you like this.

Yeah and you are 😂
I have already given the OP my advice.
You must have missed it whilst doling out your insults.
But you go sister!

In practical terms, he sees you are healing, glowing again. He wants to feed off your energy. Run 🏃‍♀️

Don't feel guilty. Never go back.

[Miranda style] 'That's all.'

Time to love yourself. Letting this man do this to you twice and then feeling sorry for him is crazy.

Your new life is just getting started, which is why he is hoovering hard (narcissist). You are addicted to the rush that his lovebombing has on you. Seek therapy, learn all about narcissistic people or you will meet another. Good luck. Never go near this man again.