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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you expect a thank you

88 replies

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 18:27

Emergency at nursery so we had to collect children. I messaged my friend asking if she needed help to collect her kid as I could take them home on the bus.

Didn't bother to respond to the message for an hour. And it wasn't "oh thanks for offering" it was just stating she was busy getting work sorted.

Aibu In thinking she could have acknowledged me offering to help her. She goes on about the village and this is the second time I've offered. Other time when she was trying to get someone to look after little one after she had IVF. She didn't even ackoledge me.

Ok you may think she doesn't want me to, which is fair enough, but just say "oh thanks I'll bare that in mind".

I'm very hormonal today

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knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 19:51

Oh right sorry. I should have googled. I thought it was asd

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CarolwithoutanE · 30/10/2025 19:47

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 19:35

What's asc

Autistic spectrum condition.

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 19:35

CarolwithoutanE · 30/10/2025 19:17

Dd is ASC struggles with thank you, hello, and a few other things. It’s more common than people think as it’s the pressure some people feel with the expectation of certain words.

What's asc

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CarolwithoutanE · 30/10/2025 19:17

Dd is ASC struggles with thank you, hello, and a few other things. It’s more common than people think as it’s the pressure some people feel with the expectation of certain words.

Dweetfidilove · 30/10/2025 19:07

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 18:55

I'm being unreasonable accordiing to the voting

There will be people who are like your friend or who think thoughtfulness is an imposition, so think YABU.

BengalBangle · 30/10/2025 18:59

I'm Autistic and I always acknowledge offers of help with thanks, so her neurotype has nothing to do with it.

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 18:55

Dweetfidilove · 30/10/2025 18:51

A thank you would've been lovely and autism doesn't excuse that.

I'm being unreasonable accordiing to the voting

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Dweetfidilove · 30/10/2025 18:51

A thank you would've been lovely and autism doesn't excuse that.

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 18:49

Splendidbouquet · 30/10/2025 18:32

Yes I think to not thank you for offering is rude.
The fact she obviously has no appreciation of your thoughtfulness would definitely deter me from bothering to offer help in the future.

Yeah happened twice

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user2848502016 · 30/10/2025 18:37

Yes a “thanks so much for offering but we’re ok” would be expected, I wouldn’t offer again

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 18:36

Splendidbouquet · 30/10/2025 18:32

Yes I think to not thank you for offering is rude.
The fact she obviously has no appreciation of your thoughtfulness would definitely deter me from bothering to offer help in the future.

She's autistic so I don't know if I'm being too harsh. She told me she was....not sure if she's been diagnosed etc. it's not apparent if you meet her

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Splendidbouquet · 30/10/2025 18:32

Yes I think to not thank you for offering is rude.
The fact she obviously has no appreciation of your thoughtfulness would definitely deter me from bothering to offer help in the future.

knowingmekniwingyou · 30/10/2025 18:28

Btw we are both lone parents

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