Would you expect a thank you

Yes it was rather rude. Please know it's bear in mind though. Bare always means naked and I'm sure you didn't mean that!

I guess politeness is old fashioned.
I'm going to the shops can I get yiu anything, no thanks I'm fine

Do you want/need a lift home, thanks for offering but I'm happy walking/getting the bus.

Etc etc

I'm a dinosaur.

Lol yup I am the downfall of society.

It's was just a question I was posing. I am almost embarrassingly polite at times - i just don't believe we should get all twisted up when someone is rude. Call it out or don't, but its just life, right.

Unless its someone knocking on your door and offering you 50p for your house, or offering you a sausage roll in exchange for a sex act, then YES! Any unsolicited offer would always be met with a thank you. My lovely (much older) colleague recently took me aside and offered me my pick of her wardrobe clear out. I know her style is very much not me at all, to say the least, but I said 'that's so kind of you but I've so man6 clothes I need to do a clear out myself! Thank you for thinking of me though!' I do not want her clothes but still said thank you.

Usually. I suppose your attitude is why manners are becoming less of a thing and people will become less willing to help.

Stop offering or helping. It’s her own responsibility.

She’s been messaging me non urgent stuff all evening so it’s not like its affected her evening

perhaps you need to work on your emotional response to others because it certainly affected your evening.

Sorry but autism covers so many spectrum you can't say it's rude if she doesn't say and btw some of the best maskers are autistic people and you wouldn't have a clue face to face...anyway my sister would never think to say please thankyou etc she will say what she has to straight to the point and everyone that knows her knows that's fine and she will also only answer texts if it either interests her or she can actually think of a reply...my autism totally different in that I can't do forms, computers, keep a schedule etc so I do remember please and thankyou but majority of the time i wont engage in a conversation and bad days will be blunt and straight to the point if a reply is actually necessary

If someone offers to help in an emergency/unexpected situation then it's basic manners to thank them, even if you don't need their help.

Basic manners have totally gone downhill in many ways over the last years so it's not surprising when people like your friend don't bother. It was rude of her.

I thought you meant you’d actually collected for her and she hadn’t said thank you! To not thank you for your offer is, at worst, mildly irritating. You’re placing too much emphasis on this.

I have to agree with this

Exactly!

I’ve stopped putting myself out as much with one particular person as it’s one sided and always all take. I invited her to mine for a coffee rather than me going up to her house as always. She was obviously put out and replied “don’t worry about it”. It felt tudey. There was no ‘thank you’. It annoyed me. Anyway, it’s all ok. Just stop helping out so much. We need to put less energy in to others and ask ourselves why we feel the need to keep pleasing.

Should we always be polite to every unsolicited offer?

Maybe because it's the polite thing to do.

And can i go back to my earlier question about your relationship? Are you best friends? Neighbours??

It's hard to understand without knowing how close you two are?

Do you feel comfortable challenging her oj her rudeness?

OP - it's a big deal for you.

You said earlier she complained about no village. I am a single parent too, literally no family around me, I am lucky to have good friends who have supported me. But I still feel very vulnerable witg no immediate family around me no "village"

That's clearly my perspective...

Could that be hers too?

Edited as double posted

I think pp nailed it.... it's about is the ops reponse proportional to the situation detailed.... in reality no.

All those posters "staggered by the reponses" whats so interesting to me is how we (and I'll make the assumption thst we are majority women) have to be so unfailingly polite and apologetic in every interaction.

The op literally stated she offered something, and is upset by lack of acknowledgment.

Really... in the grand scheme of things, this truly isn't a big deal and not society going downhill.

Someone nailed it about that her reply was factual. The stress of the situation would highly likely impact her ability to remember to use the required thank you etc. As in she would like find us proportionally more stressful than the op because of her ASC as it’s unpredictable and out of routine. Probably very much on the zone of sorting work out to leave and not able to deal with anything else.

It is very challenging for many people with ASC to “remember their manners” because it’s something not seen as necessary.

It’s like those work emails with all the shit in them instead of bullet points of what needs to be done. Then you waste time trying to work out what they are asking, do the tasks which are part of responsibility and get another email saying thank you. Wasting more time and energy even if it’s just to hit the delete button.

I wouldn’t be offended or think it’s rude if someone didn’t say thank you.

I'm quite staggered by some of the replies.

There are routinely threads on MN about people finding a total lack of civility and manners in their every day life. And quite a few of the replies on this thread highlight how many people actually don't set any value on consideration and manners.