Who decides when a child needs a coat on?

130 replies

girlfriend44 · 30/10/2025 16:35

Waiting for the bus today. There was a child with his grandad.
The grandad wanted him to put his coat on, but he didnt want it on

An ongoing bottle ensued between the two. The mum was there as well with other children but didnt get involved.
The coat went on, then it was flung to the floor.
Grandad was met with much opposition from the child who didnt want the coat on.
Eventually grandad won, the coat went on and stayed on.
I heard the grandad say come on your not with your mum now you know, your with me,.This implied to me he was stronger than than the mum and he knew it.

It got me thinking though, who decides when a coat goes on?
Should the boy hace had the choice or was grandad right?

OP posts:

StrawBeretMoose · 30/10/2025 16:44

It’s not a battle I choose to have with DC.

Depending on their age I’d say they can carry their own coat. Might motivate them to put it on!

Sirzy · 30/10/2025 16:44

I provide the coat. I suggest wearing it. Unless it’s dangerous not too I wouldn’t make an issue, when he is cold he will put it on.

But we both have sensory issues and coats can be an issue so it’s not worth the fight!

KittyPup · 30/10/2025 16:43

The grandad was right. I’m sick of seeing inappropriately dressed children for the weather because the parents don’t want to
parent. Only in England do you see children with no coats and little girls in skirts and socks in the middle of winter. Nowhere else do a relatively large section of parents think it’s acceptable to leave the house wrapped up themselves whilst their children are not because they can’t be bothered to stand their ground.

modgepodge · 30/10/2025 16:43

Depends on the age of the child surely? If the child is old enough to remove their own coat I’d argue they’re probably old enough to choose. My child is 6 and I havent dictated she wears a coat for years, if she’s too hot she can take it off. I was a teacher for years and always let the KS2 kids choose if they wanted to wear their coats when I was on break duty (other teachers sent them back in to get their coats when it was their day). My 1 year old though, I decide.

Sux2buthen · 30/10/2025 16:42

I’m a natural consequence person so I may say ok be cold then and they will usually end up choosing the coat.
in this situation the child was asked/ told to put their coat on by a responsible adult so they should have done.

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