Who decides when a child needs a coat on?

DS is very rarely ill despite the shorts and t-shirts.

At that age they are plenty old enough to decide if they need a coat on or not.

You don’t catch a cold from getting cold. While the immune system gets a bit suppressed from being cold, it’s only a virus or bacteria that will actually make you ill.

You clearly haven't had a hot blooded, sensory child.

I was once sworn at in the street because my then 7yo was wearing shorts on a cold winter's day. DS was perfectly happy. He'd have made it very clear to the world if he was uncomfortable! He didn't deserve to hear swear words directed at his mum from an idiot who ironically hadn't covered his skinhead with a hat
From about 4 after a couple of years of constant battles I accepted that my role was to provide the garments, advise and have them accessible, but I gave up the fighting and we were all happier for it. He hasn't owned casual trousers for about a decade now.

On thermal imaging cameras, DS glows hotter than the rest of the family. He is objectively warmer and needs fewer layers. He's also sensitive to getting overheated and goes faint easily from it

Now he's a teenager, it's more acceptable to the world that he only wear t-shirts and shorts 95% of the time. I remember being his age and needing far fewer layers than I do now. We all feel heat/ cold differently and should dress to our needs not an arbitary formula.

Both mine have sensory issues with coats.
They have a choice - deal with the issues of wearing a coat, or deal with the issues of being cold. They are old enough to choose whichever is the least difficult option that day

Depends on the age of the child - natural consequences etc.

When mine was a toddler I was out with him on a day when it was exactly -2 degrees and I saw parents pushing a buggy with a little girl of no more than 1 year old wearing only a T-shirt and leggings - no coat, socks, shoes, blanket - nothing. The girl was stony-faced and silent. Both parents were wearing coats, hats, scarves and gloves. I simply can’t fathom how a baby of no more than 1 year rules the roost over winter clothing, and can only presume it was neglect as they were wrapped up well themselves. I wish I had said something but I would probably have been told to p-off.

You do know being cold does not make you ill? My seven year old hasn’t worn trousers for about 2 years now - he hates them and isn’t ever cold. He’s also rarely ill but these things are not related.

Depends on the age and the temperature.

Under 7 or 8, do as they are told, you don't give them choice.
From 10 onwards, you know your kids and if they don't feel the cold or if they are just being silly.

I hate the "pick your battle", it's lazy parenting cop-out!

I heard the grandad say come on your not with your mum now you know, your with me,.This implied to me he was stronger than than the mum and he knew it

That's a bit of a leap OP!

All of my GC behave very differently with me/OH than with their parents. It's not because we are "stronger" (are you implying that he might use physical force?), it's just because they know that certain behaviour won't be tolerated by us.

Well, a toddler clearly looks different from a 12 year old.

A 3 old or so looks different than a 10-11 year old

How old was the child?
ETA: as the adult who will have to look after the child if they get sick it’s my decision how they dress. If old enough to take paracetamol etc on their own and stay home alone- they can decide.

Adult insists the child takes a coat. Child decides whether to wear it.

I still tell my kids to wear a coat, they both have sensory issues that mean they don’t feel cold and their body temp doesn’t regulate in the same way, so even as young teenagers they’re told.

Unless it’s really raining then the child for my youngest (6) for my older child (9) it’s down to her.

Carry it or wear it, would be my options.

Not really worth getting into an argument over.

The adult in charge. Always the adult.

What harm can not wearing a coat do?

Depends on the age of the child. Children seem to be a lot hotter than adults as they running around so much. I know dd will shed coat, jumper and be in a t shirt as will all her friends. She's 9 and if cold will put a jumper or coat on. Old enough to decide.

When mine were toddlers I’d make them wear coats as they otherwise didn’t notice they were getting cold. Not once they were school age. Drives me mad when you see parents sitting down wrapped up in playgrounds mithering their kids who are tearing round to put their coats on - I don’t wear a big coat to go for a run, why should kids be made to?

Child decides unless mitigating circumstances. Natural consequences.

It depends. I was natural consequences sort of parent for ds1 &2 but ds3 needed to be told.
She was this sort not to wear a coat, get very cold, And then cry for the next three hours. So the natural consequence was I made her put ther coat on to save 3hours of having to listen to her whine.

When my son was little he hated wearing a coat. I gave up in the end and learned to endure the open judgment from other people that my son must be a)freezing and b) that I was obviously a neglectful mother. He just didn’t like wearing a coat and he didn’t feel the cold.

He is now 27 and still hates wearing a coat. If, it is very cold he will reluctantly wear a hoodie. So the answer to your question in my case was my son decided. I hated it and still hate it though.