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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend cancelled meet up last minute.

37 replies

MeDadMeDad · 30/10/2025 16:08

Am I being too sensitive? I'm feeling a little upset as my friend cancelled plans last minute.
Was supposed to be meeting in the park with our 3 children as its half term here.
She cancelled last minute as she forgot and needs to wait in for a delivery.
She meets regularly with other friends in our circle, she goes pub, to others houses.
Feel upset because same thing happened not long ago as well.

OP posts:
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CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 30/10/2025 23:00

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 30/10/2025 20:14

I have done this before. Forgot I had something being delivered or an appt I forgot about. It’s easy done. However when this has happened my friends have usually said ‘I can pop in with coffee if you still wanted to meet’ which I jumped at cos it was my fault for cancelling.

It’s not ‘easily done’ unless you are disorganised and careless. When you make the appointment you add it to your diary. If you don’t have your diary, you request an email / text / booking confirmation / reminder etc. I’ve never missed an appointment due to forgetting about it in approx 50 years and I’ve got a shit memory, am a busy teacher etc etc. I just make an effort so I don’t mess people about and waste their time!

Friendlyfart · 30/10/2025 22:58

I would’ve said ‘come to mine’

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 30/10/2025 22:56

I genuinely don’t know how people forget they’ve made plans. Do they not add it to their phone diaries as they are arranging it? If it’s happened twice then it’s a lack of thought for other people’s plans / inconvenience that would really annoy me. It suggests that she thinks you aren’t a big deal to drop last minute, whether that’s true or not. Was she very apologetic? She should be the one rearranging it.

QuickPeachPoet · 30/10/2025 20:46

Drop the flaky shit like a hot brick OP.

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 30/10/2025 20:14

I have done this before. Forgot I had something being delivered or an appt I forgot about. It’s easy done. However when this has happened my friends have usually said ‘I can pop in with coffee if you still wanted to meet’ which I jumped at cos it was my fault for cancelling.

TomatoSandwiches · 30/10/2025 20:13

She should have invited you over if that was the case, she was rude and I wouldn't bother rearranging on your end.

Cucy · 30/10/2025 20:10

If it was a one off, then it’s disappointing but can’t be helped.

However if this has happened a couple of times then I’d be annoyed and stop arranging things with her.

My opinion would depend on how sorry the message came across.

If it was like omg I’m so sorry, I have a delivery coming between 8-2pm. I’m free to meet up afterwards etc

But if it was less apologetic then I’d be more annoyed.

Fuzzymuddle33 · 30/10/2025 20:06

She may have genuinely forgotten a delivery but could have offered you a new time or to go around hers instead.

XenoBitch · 30/10/2025 19:12

YANBU it is rude.
I had a friend cancel me last minute for a delivery too. One she had known about for a few days already. Another time she cancelled as she had had a better offer. Told me that too.
Another time, she just didn't show up. After 30 minutes of waiting, I text her and her reply was "I am not coming". Didn't even have the decency to cancel.

Let her re-organise your meet up. If she doesn't bother, then you know where you stand.

LushLemonTart · 30/10/2025 19:08

Delivery is an excuse she couldn't be arsed. Be honest and say it's too cold or whatever.

JillMW · 30/10/2025 18:39

MeDadMeDad · 30/10/2025 16:21

@Coconutter24 no not rearranged anything yet.
I'm probably just being sensitive. I will try and rearrange.

I would maybe not rearrange. Leave it up to her. Often people do forget but usually then they would invite you around to have a cuppa and the kids play.

Kittyninja267 · 30/10/2025 18:38

I would be upset about this too. Sometimes it is genuine but for something like a delivery I would ask you to my house or ask a neighbour to keep an eye out for the delivery. Disappointing for you and your child but I hope you had a nice time despite her changing the plans

Shewhoshallnotbenamed91 · 30/10/2025 18:33

Your being sensitive and over thinking. Leave her to re arrange and if she doesn't you know where you stand

Nestingbirds · 30/10/2025 18:29

Why can’t you go there? Why didn’t she offer?

researchers3 · 30/10/2025 18:20

minipie · 30/10/2025 18:13

I’d be tempted to reply “Oh no problem, we’ll all come round to yours instead so you can be in for your delivery! See you soon”.

😁

winter8090 · 30/10/2025 18:18

Could she have invited you to her house instead?
It sounds very flaky of her.
I would wait for her to rearrange/ suggest the next meeting. In the meantime focus on other friends and interests.

SisterMidnight77 · 30/10/2025 18:18

I think she’s saying you don’t matter to her, I’m sorry to say.

minipie · 30/10/2025 18:13

I’d be tempted to reply “Oh no problem, we’ll all come round to yours instead so you can be in for your delivery! See you soon”.

BuildbyNumbere · 30/10/2025 18:11

How old are all the DDs … could they have said they didn’t want to go??

Zov · 30/10/2025 17:08

Netcurtainnelly · 30/10/2025 16:25

No let her rearrange.
You will know then if she really wants to meet.

Show quote history

I agree with this. ^ Let HER re-arrange @MeDadMeDad

Sounds like she isn't arsed to be honest. Remembering (at the last minute!) that she has to wait in for a delivery is such a lame excuse to not come and meet you. And as she has done this before (recently) I would make ZERO effort to see her again.

PixieandMe · 30/10/2025 17:04

MeDadMeDad · 30/10/2025 16:21

@Coconutter24 no not rearranged anything yet.
I'm probably just being sensitive. I will try and rearrange.

She should rearrange.

It is annoying when this happens but I would wait for her to offer to rearrange.

TheLivelyRose · 30/10/2025 17:03

MeDadMeDad · 30/10/2025 16:21

@Coconutter24 no not rearranged anything yet.
I'm probably just being sensitive. I will try and rearrange.

If she does it to you more than once, she's just rude. I d say waiting in delivery is a lame excuse too.

The test is don't rearrange with her.Let her get in contact with you.See what she does.

Original poster
MeDadMeDad · 30/10/2025 16:39

@TomatoSandwiches was meeting up with my DD and her 2 DDs.

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 30/10/2025 16:36

Sometimes people cancel with an excuse because something else is going on. Sometimes they've had a genuine problem crop up.

Then sometimes they are just messing you about.

Keep an open mind but let her lead the next arrangement. I wouldn't write someone off too quickly because life is not always straightforward.

TheZanyZebra · 30/10/2025 16:36

Feel upset because same thing happened not long ago as well.
If it's the second time with her especially, do not rearrange anything, it's up to her.

I wouldn't be upset, but I hate flakey people, I wouldn't organise anything or invite her anywhere, no one "forgets" a delivery and cancel at teh last minute, she's just being lazy.

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