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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be struggling with my toddler?

35 replies

Magicalmrsmoy · 30/10/2025 12:28

He's 15 months and driving me INSANE. Just whinges and complains at me from the minute he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed (thank fuck he sleeps through the night for the most part). I can't do anything while he plays near me - I have to be interacting with him 1:1/physically holding him at all times or he goes ballistic. The only thing that keeps him content is a breastfeed but I'm trying to keep that to morning and bedtime only as he would never be off it otherwise.

He's not ill, not teething and he naps well and eats well. It's just him. I don't remember my older DS (7) being anywhere near this much hard work at the same age.

AIBU to be going round the twist?

OP posts:
Original poster
Magicalmrsmoy · 30/10/2025 16:31

Viol3tta · 30/10/2025 15:52

Do you work? Send him to childcare? Sounds like you’re both in bad habits.

Yes. He goes two days a week and has a half day with grandparents.

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 30/10/2025 16:10

I completely sympathise with you and hope you have help as this all may be feeling too much for you; but I think you need to try to go with the flow of him. Feed him more, play with him more, carry him more and then he’ll relax more when he is a bit older. It is as though he might be feeling you don’t want him.

Could you go and stay with family to get extra help and more rest?

ThatCyanJoker · 30/10/2025 15:57

tThat sounds like my older child, now in his 30s. I feel for you. It’s really exhausting and I was always comparing him to his peer group at the time, and felt quite down about it. Accept it , some babies / young children are more clingy than others. Your child needs you now but it won’t be forever. If there’s anyone who can offer you a break from time to time, grab it! Having time to myself while MIL helped out one afternoon pw was a lifesaver!

Viol3tta · 30/10/2025 15:52

Do you work? Send him to childcare? Sounds like you’re both in bad habits.

Floundering66 · 30/10/2025 15:46

Yanbu - apart from breastfeeding, my little boy (22 months) is the exact same. Doesn’t play independently at all and wants to be picked up and carried around a lot of the time! It’s tough and a struggle when you have other things you need to do! I LOVE playing with him, but I genuinely didn’t think he would need 100% of my attention in waking hours 😂 … I saw a post the other day about a mum feeing guilty because she had doomed scrolled on her phone for an hour while her 2 year old played with her kitchen and I just CANNOT get my head round how that’s even possible - if I try and check the weather on my phone he will immediately kick off. Don’t even get me started on how hard it is to make any food 😫

Original poster
Magicalmrsmoy · 30/10/2025 12:56

LindorDoubleChoc · 30/10/2025 12:55

Yabu

Feel free to elaborate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Magicalmrsmoy · 30/10/2025 12:55

littleturtledove · 30/10/2025 12:52

What's he like when DH or DS1 are around? And when you're out and about? Is he literally at you all day no matter who's there and what's going on, or is it more when you're at home just the two of you?

If I'm in view he's relentless. If I go out then he's absolutely fine with both of them. If I'm at a group or out with him (which I do pretty much every day) he's no different.

OP posts:
LindorDoubleChoc · 30/10/2025 12:55

Yabu

littleturtledove · 30/10/2025 12:52

What's he like when DH or DS1 are around? And when you're out and about? Is he literally at you all day no matter who's there and what's going on, or is it more when you're at home just the two of you?

Lilyowl · 30/10/2025 12:33

I have one child who was like that and one who isn't. My child who was like that is now 3.5 and it has got easier. She now plays independently and although there are many emotions, she is actually comforted by me in an easy way, like a hug or some kind words instead of having to carry her round everywhere I go. I saw a big improvement in terms of independence and emotional regulation around 2.5 and it's gradually just got better and better since.

I imagine it must be harder when your second is like this rather than the other way around.