Page 4 | AIBU to be angry at DH over insults used

OnePunnyKoala · 2025-10-30T05:56:25+00:00

DH got into an argument with DS16 over something petty and suddenly called him a "psychopath" as an insult. DS16 then got into another argument with him and said that the language he uses is unacceptable and shouldn't be used in any household. Instead of realising his mistake DH then proceeded to say I will have to start whipping you with a belt. What should I do? Is this common behaviour or completely unacceptable?

WeekendFreedom · 30/10/2025 07:30

What did the teen do for your DH to be call him a psychopath?

MyWorthyDenimFinch · 30/10/2025 07:29

BellissimoGecko · 30/10/2025 07:26

What? So the teen should accept random insults from his father??

Sometimes adults don’t know best. This is not the 1950s. Age does not confer wisdom, decency, etc.

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No the child and the parent should never be in an argument. They aren't equals. That's not to say children don't have a say but ultimately, they should respect their parent's final judgement. There shouldn't be a back and forth.

BCBird · 30/10/2025 07:28

Im.in my 50s and epuld not have argued like this with my parents. Maybe arguing with each other has been allowed/is acceptable in OP's house. Adult needs to take the higher moral ground. If this means walking away to diffuse a situation then so be it.

Threefullskips · 30/10/2025 07:27

thisishowloween · 30/10/2025 07:20

This isn’t the 1950’s.

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And that's perhaps not the great thing that you seem to think it is.

BellissimoGecko · 30/10/2025 07:26

MyWorthyDenimFinch · 30/10/2025 07:08

I don't really understand why children are in arguments with their parents as though they are equals. Why is your teenager not politely explaining their point of view but accepting the adult's judgement overall? Why do they believe that is is acceptable for them to go back and forth with their parents?

What? So the teen should accept random insults from his father??

Sometimes adults don’t know best. This is not the 1950s. Age does not confer wisdom, decency, etc.

SundayFundayz · 30/10/2025 07:24

MyWorthyDenimFinch · 30/10/2025 07:08

I don't really understand why children are in arguments with their parents as though they are equals. Why is your teenager not politely explaining their point of view but accepting the adult's judgement overall? Why do they believe that is is acceptable for them to go back and forth with their parents?

Seriously? Do you have children?

You can’t really be expecting an entire generation to be submissive to their elders regardless of whether they’re right or wrong? The ability to stand your ground on a point you believe in is surely fundamental?

thisishowloween · 30/10/2025 07:20

MyWorthyDenimFinch · 30/10/2025 07:08

I don't really understand why children are in arguments with their parents as though they are equals. Why is your teenager not politely explaining their point of view but accepting the adult's judgement overall? Why do they believe that is is acceptable for them to go back and forth with their parents?

This isn’t the 1950’s.

thisishowloween · 30/10/2025 07:19

Your husband sounds deranged.

Timeforabitofpeace · 30/10/2025 07:15

Both incidents handed in a completely unacceptable manner.

firstofallimadelight · 30/10/2025 07:12

It sounds like your dh is incapable of managing his son’s behaviour without resorting to threats and insults.

MyWorthyDenimFinch · 30/10/2025 07:08

I don't really understand why children are in arguments with their parents as though they are equals. Why is your teenager not politely explaining their point of view but accepting the adult's judgement overall? Why do they believe that is is acceptable for them to go back and forth with their parents?

PollyBell · 30/10/2025 06:59

Ok please explain what has ever made you think this is acceptable behaviour?

Sweetbeansandmochi · 30/10/2025 06:58

He has made a rip in his relationship with his son and he has the responsibility to make the repair - he needs to apologise and not behave like this again.

Figcherry · 30/10/2025 06:43

Completely unacceptable.
Your dh thinks insults and threats of violence are suitable discipline.
He seems immature or nasty or both.

Maray1967 · 30/10/2025 06:38

I would tell him that he has just revealed himself to be less mature than his DS16 and he needs to think about that.

Wingingiteveryda · 30/10/2025 06:38

Thats not a way for your husband to speak to any person - child/young adult or adult. Standalone name calling of "psychopath", whilst a bit weird and grim from parent to child, i'd be unhappy about but maybe let go, dependant on context and apology.
A threat of violence towards my children in my household, no.