Not to invite brothers new partner and child Xmas day

*be not win

No advice about Xmas day other then to speak to your brother.
They’re practically living together already and they both have multiple children with multiple ex partners? I’d invite her as she’s going to win the mother of another niece or nephew in the new year at the latest .

Inviting his girlfriend for Christmas dinner in no way involves her in any "hassles". She just disapproves. Which is her prerogative but then she should just have the courage of her convictions instead of inventing silly reasons like "I feel uncomfortable around children I don't know".

No, I didn't know what you meant because neither twerpty nor twerpy are real words. And this similarly childish reply doesn't mean anything either - "you already read my post and know why it's fine"? What does that even mean?

I agree that the girlfriend is not family. I agree that OP doesn't have to host anybody if she doesn't want to. I was commenting on your nonsensical rationale.

She's not afraid of anything. She disapproves of the way her brother conducts himself in relationships involving children and she wants to use Christmas as an opportunity to demonstrate this to him and his girlfriend.

The usual twerpty shouting about "eexccccllluuussssiiiooonnn" literally every gathering in the entire planet excludes most of the other people planet, and that's normal

What's "twerpty"? Very strange take on the meaning of exclusion. By your reasoning, the very concept of exclusion/inclusion doesn't exist in any context. In reality, I think most adults can understand there's a difference between excluding "most of the other people (on the) planet", and excluding a family member's girlfriend, irrespective of our views on this specific situation.

This x 💯

Someone always gets to the heart of the matter.

Sorry OP but I'm a bit baffled. What exactly are you afraid might happen if that lady turns up with her daughter ? If you're hosting that many people you'll barely have time to talk to her anyway. And inviting her doesn't mean you have to be besties.

Maybe he'll break up with her in a few weeks, so what ? Inviting her isn't the same as getting close to her or becoming friends.

I just don't see any big reason not to let her come, assuming she even wants to.

When my mother was alive Christmas meant we always had extra room at our table. Sometimes it was people who had no family of their own, or whose family had recently broken down or people who would just pop by to visit and stay when my mother found out they had no other plans.

People that my mother knew years ago would just drop in and stay. We didn’t lock our front door so that people could just walk in.

After she died I found myself being the extra person at my grandmother’s table along with her neighbour who had nowhere else to go.

I think it’s sad that you are only thinking of yourself. Your brother’s new girlfriend might not be around after Christmas - she might even have plans and not want to come. But I think your position on this issue doesn’t make you a good person. You never know when you might be the odd person at someone else’s table.

@AgentSmith2025 ah, one of those types. I'm right because I am 😂

@AgentSmith2025 please do let me know what about my post is total rubbish? I'm fairly certain that the essence of the Christmas story is about there being "no room at the inn" and essentially accommodating strangers? Not moralising about how long you deem it acceptable for your brother to go out with someone till they get invited for a roast dinner. Or is it the part where I I say you don't have to be close family to be invited to a Christmas lunch that's rubbish? Because I'm fairly certain there are many many people across the world who accommodate non family for a meal on 25th December.

Also interesting divide on here about who Christmas is for.

Some seem to have a very strong opinion that it is only for close family, and you have to be very comfortable with someone to spend Christmas with them...

Others seem to be ok with inviting anyone, and being more open about it.

Personally, for me, I'm in the second camp. I've had lots of Christmases with a whole range of people, and over the course of the 3 days, my family have had a whole mix of friends, neighbors, family, etc. all invited in at various points. Why? Because the spirit of Christmas is generoisty and if you are presented with an opportunity to do sometihng nice for someone else (and have the capability to do so) there is nothing more Christmassy than that. We have had elderly neighbors round for Christmas lunch and it made them so happy - friends of family who didn't have other plans or places to be, new 'blended' family members who were only around for a bit. None of it mattered. We all muddled along and shared the joy as best we could.

For me, that is far more in-line with the Christmas spirit then the self-focused attitude of some on here, where it all becmse about what you are comfortable with, what you want, who you want in your celebration, and what you think about everything.

For me, blended families are defined by the people doing the blending, and the correct response is to politely acknowledge it. Even if (as I have before) you don't personally agree with how they are doing things. Your protests will do nothing to change their minds, and all it will do is push devisions between you and them.

So if you invite your brother, it comes with however he is currently defining him/his family. If that includes a partner of 6 months (by Christmas) and his and or her kids, then fine.. I'd be skeptical and doubt it would last, but that isn't for me to deal with, that is for them.

What is your issue? Why exclude your brother?

so what if the split in 6 months? So what if she has a child? Why does that have anything to do with this Christmas?

I think you’re being mean

Could you say it as it is?
That you suppose he would want to spend Christmas with them, but if he wasn't, he would be welcome at yours, so he wouldn't be alone.

"Hi, dont know if you have plans with your new GF but if not you are welcome to come with Mum and Dad on Xmas day. Understand if you would rather spend it with her and her kids though xx"

Says that he is invited but they are not.

I would invite DB, GF and child. He is family and he comes as a package this winter.

My thoughts exactly 😂