Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

See, even though I don't have those payments, I disagree. A prom dress will likely only be worn once. My wedding dress was - I sewed that one, too, for a total cost of £250 including handmade jewellery. A car will last many years and be used several times weekly. if not daily. The cost to use ratio for a car, even on monthly payments, is much lower.

And just because people know how to hang onto money it doesn't make them a Scrooge 😂 They still spend, but on more sensible things that will last longer than a single night, and that hold value. Therein lies the difference in mindsets.

According to you
And why do you think they are going in to debt?

I'm not aa I said I dont have daughters and my son refused to go to his prom
I just think you are being very patronising to those people who do choose to spend that amount of money ,..

Well they are stupid if they think they need to spend ££££ and get into debt over one party for a 16 year old. 🤷‍♀️

Because they're sitting here saying things along the lines of...well I love my kids and I want them to have a fabulous time so of course I will spend £870! I couldn't possibly send her out ina £40 dress, because she's worth so much more and I live her so much and she worked so hard...

Keep quiet and send your girls in an expensive dress, but don't make out it what should be done and don't make out that somehow it's a superior choice to send in a designer dress than something from Zara.

Whose falling for it ?
You are making massive assumption that these parents are simple souls ,who are to stupid to know what to spend their own money on.

Spend £1000 on party if it's important to you, but don't pretend it's supposed to be that way and spread the idea that this is expected.

People are not thick ,you dont get to tell people what they should spend their own money on
Personally I think it's a huge waste of money for me but I dont care what other people do if it makes them happy.

Because they're falling for the curated idea that a 16 year old girl should spend 10x more than a boy to attend the same event.

.

But a lot can't afford it.

They are paying for it in credit cards or getting loans off the guy down the road. Because they are falling for the lies that they're told that this is an important event that they must spend ££££ on their daughters.

DDs was very expensive as she wanted a dress by a specific designer - Tauta Matoshi.
We can afford it and DD doesn't really ask for much so we didn't mind. The dress is amazing

If the parents have the money to do it and are happy to it why are they mugs ?

It the issue is 1) lots of people do and will go into debt for it and 2) because they think this is the way it is....

They're convinced by Social media and advertising that this is an expectation of having a teenage girl.... Spend £750 on getting to a party... Crazy!

Why?
As I said i dont have daughters and my son refused to go to his own prom
But why is it depressing that some parents want to splash out if they can afford it ?

Of course they're mugs. They believe the hype that this one party is "once in a lifetime" event, is incredibly important rite of passage and that they need to spend ££££ to make it special.

Sure, it's important and a lovely thing to do. But thinking the "correct" way to celebrate is to spend £500 on a free £250 on hair and make, up another £200 on new shoes and a bag etc is just insanity. Especially getting in debt over it.

It's consumerism fuelled by Social Media making you think this is reasonable. And if you fall for it, yes, you're a mug.

Look at all the boys.... They're not spending near to £1000 on an evening out... Funny that.

Your child should be going and having a great time with their friends. Dress up, sure. But it's supposed to be fun!

Didn't Charles Dickens write a book about that? I think some bloke called Ebeneezer was amazing at hanging on to money...

To me, life is about balance, because we never know how short it will be. I am prudent and paid off the mortgage and gave decent pensions and savings, but I see know virtue in being parsimonious. My children both have health conditions that mean I never take long life for granted, so I most certainly spend on adventures and treats rather than squirreling every penny away.

These prom dresses everyone claims are so extravagant are only about the amount of one months car payment for most of the ridiculous SUVs everyone feels the need to drive even though they don't fit down the country lanes round here. I know which I would rather spend money on.

Is this a resurrection of the 'Debutantes' tradition?

This is Mumsnet. The women centred support site where a mother’s place is in the wrong and a stepmother’s place is underneath the terrace (along with all the DiL/MiLs).

Verily the patriarchy is alive.

15 years ago I paid about 50 quid for my high street prom dress from my PT job but mum bought me a nice pair of shoes. My friend's uncle did our make up and hair. I wasnt that fussed on designer stuff even if my mum could have afforded it.

I have a young daughter, I wouldnt begrudge paying a few quid (within reason) for a nice high street dress but I really couldnt justify buying designer brand new for one night,

I think he went on public transport; there were a few of them together 😆

I think it's a bigger 'event'. Several of DS's friends had black tie parties or weekends away for their 18ths so the leavers party wasn't their only chance to dress up.

I'm 52 next week and left school in 1990 even we had a leaving do at a local restaurant with a sit down meal and a glass of wine .and then a disco
Ok we didn't all have our nails done or have limos ,but we all had a new outfit etc.

@RessicaJabbitGosh, how rude. People go into this with their eyes open, they are not mugs, it's their choice.

It's the same with the competitive who can spend the least on their children at Xmas
I'm not talking about people who are on a strict budget and have limited funds
But the high earners who brag that they have spent under £30;or whatever and despair of other parents spending hundreds on plastic tat ,it's always plastic tat.

I agree ,I dont have daughters and my son didn't even go to his prom
Bit if someone wants to spend ££££,s on their daughters prom dress and can afford it i dont see the issue.