Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

Our local comp is rife with people trying to outdo each other. I wish the head would put his foot down.

Well in which case the pressure is from themselves not others which again I would say is a Parenting issue
If another girl hd wanted to Google DDs dress and then get upset at how much it cost that is nothing to do with us

I agree, my 2 were at Private and the there was a real lack of peer pressure around expensive things (few exceptions to be fair). There was a LOT more bling at the local comps

Payment plans: if you need a payment plan for that level of dress then you can't afford it. It's hardly an essential. They can have a sensibly priced dress.

No. My DS1 didn't attend a school that did prom. My DDs did, but thankfully they were quite happy that some of the local charity shops do a special event each spring where they put out their prom-style stuff. DD1 bought her dress at a charity shops, got her jacket second hand online, and bought her shoes new. DD2 bought her suit at a charity shop, she did garden work to earn the money for a £40 top hat to go with it, then later decided with her friends not to go, and they all wore their outfits to the cinema & bowling instead. For my DDs, I think the leaving day event was a much bigger 'key social event' and celebration of their hard work than prom - DD1 ended up leaving hers early and only about half her year went. I'm not sure my DS2's secondary does a prom, but I imagine he will be more the type to do something else.

I grew up in the US, went to multiple proms (I was a beard for a few guy friends) as well as not-prom gaming parties, and I find the British twist on it very, very strange. The US version is a tradition from some elite Universities of a taste of post-uni life come down to some high schools as a taste of post-high school adult life. That's why on so many US shows it's associated with having sex or ending up at an all night diner at 2am. I have work colleagues who are spending the large amounts discussed in this thread with the hair, nails and makeup professionally done their 12 year old's middle school prom, I've heard of others doing it at primary, and while I get it's just very different over here, I can't shake the idea that it's meant to be a taste of adult life and why is this the taste we would want them to aspire and see in their adult life.

My friend spent £400 on her daughter’s dress with the intention of reselling it, she trashed the dress. My DDs dress was £90 from Miss Selfridge in John Lewis 10 years ago.

My sister did this for her daughter, I have a DD the same age. We hired one for £80, was an absolutely lovely dress. But I wasn't spending hundreds of pounds on a dress that was only going to be worn once.

because as above poster said, its an environmental nightmar, all plsatic tat destined for landfill. no one 'needs' any of that.

Dont spend a fortune - bear in mind, at our school everyone got bored at the formal prom after 2 hours, came home, got changed and went to after-prom party at someone's house which they all enjoyed a lot more.Same happened last year as well.
£80 dress from an online shop, more like an evening dress and £40 on a dress for 'after prom' party. Both can be worn again for an evening do or a party. Had nails done but did own hair and makeup.

Absolutely not. I think that DD’s from ClubL or something like that and her shoes were new look. I’m sure the dress was about £35 she looked amazing. I don’t think any of the girls wore anything more fancy and that was at a private school

I'm from America, for my prom my boyfriend, friends and I decided to just go in clothes we already had to a local mini golf place. Let the herd go to school organised fun we had a great time!

Prom is vapid consumerism., people fall for it.

As far as 'competition' goes I'd say at DDs school formal it was the other way about. Major kudos went to the cheapest finds like the fabulous £15 vinted gown. DD would have loved to have been able to get a cheaper dress to fit.

Thankfully the kids weren't sneery about the price of anyone's dress - they all looked fantastic - but I can see some adults can be a bit snotty and pious about anyone spending big money on it. Not a fan of that.

I think it depends if your dd has finished growing yet. Most teens will need at least one evening dress. Taking out payment plans seems daft though, there are plenty of beautiful prom dresses on Vinted.

I paid £185 for a suit, decent shirt and silk tie for my ds, but all can be reworn for interviews, weddings etc.

They might not say, but kids know.

DD's upper 6th formal dress was about £300 from a local formal dress shop. She didn't demand an expensive dress and ordered £20 dresses from Vinted and £50 dresses from Quiz but none of them suited.

She has a small waist but GG cup and finds it hard to get dresses to fit. At 18 it would have got her down. This dress fitted her perfectly and she was so happy that we didn't mind at all. It was her final year and she's usually lowkey and not a big spender.

She would have loved to have got away with a cheaper dress off vinted or high street but no joy. The more expensive dresses gave her the support she needed.

I wouldn't get into debt for something like that but if you can afford it each to their own.

What a ridiculous waste of money.
Thankfully, my DS has no interest in attending his as he doesn’t particularly like most of the students at school.

Interestingly, my dd went to a private school for the last 2 years of high school. The difference between her former state school prom photos (blingy dresses, false eye lashes, flashy limousines etc) and the low-key private school "prom" was quite shocking. Most of the kids at her school wore charity shop vintagey dresses, summer dresses, many even wore "fancy dress", nobody arrived in a limo etc. It's just sad that families who are already struggling have this added pressure to buy shit foisted upon them. No doubt that if dd had been at her state school, we too would have ended forking out a hundred odd quid for a dress - because the peer pressure is overwhelming. I just feel for those that can't participate.

Neither DD nor DS told any of their friends how much their dress/suit cost.
If you have a DC who brags about that sort of thing then I would say thats a parenting issue

It also places a huge amount of pressure of other kids who cannot afford it. Even if I was a multimillionaire, I would refuse to spend that kind of money on a dress to wear once or twice. It's obscene.

100% this. It’s inculcating unhealthy competitive and consumerist values and must be really difficult for some youngsters.

Schools have allowed these things to become monsters and it would be really hard to rein them in now.

I got mine for 50p from a car boot sale new with tags 11 years ago, loved it! It was a black satiny A line dress. Very me.

Several pps on this thread for a start.

And people I’ve met in real life too, unfortunately.

Because school is no place to parade differences in wealth, of which proms seem to have become a major manifestation. I’m genuinely shocked at the sums mentioned on this thread - it must be even more jaw-dropping for those really struggling at the moment.

Pps saying that you ‘need’ to allow for professional hair, nails and make-up and fancy transport et etc. Not in a sane world with healthy values you don’t. These are teenagers - it’s not their wedding. It should be a matter of looking in the wardrobe for something a bit smart, not going on a bank-busting shopping blow-out so that you can look better than everyone else, which is a terrible lesson for youngsters to absorb.

The idea of an end-of-school celebration/party is fine. But that’s not what these American juggernauts have become, is it?

Yes I agree with you. My argument is more about the value being placed on vulnerable teenagers looks rather than their achievements and that really worries me. It places values at a vulnerable age that are wrong and sets some young women up for failure. Mostly those from poor and diverse backgrounds.

Well all the posters who go on several long haul holidays a year because holidays are very important to them are ruining the environment more.....