Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

Jesus is not American tho.

We like to think we model financial responsibility with our kids. We ask them to consider when something is genuinely worth spending money on - what else could they spend that money on?
For some young people it will be a big wedding, a brand new car, designer handbags, the latest phone and expensive prom dresses.
We hope we've taught our kids an element of delayed gratification - how that money could be better spent, for example, on their education - paying off their student loan or on their house deposit so they carry less of a financial burden in the future, not spending excessive money chasing a princess dream.
People can spend their money whatever way they want - I'd not want to be teaching my daughter to blow it all on one night.

My daughter didn’t care about having an expensive dress which was just as well, because I couldn’t and wouldn’t have bought one. I hope my granddaughter will have been brought up so well she’ll not be influenced to think she needs to have an outfit that costs a massive amount of money just for a one night party.

One poster said her daughter also had a prom at the end of her GCSE's. What!!
What do the Schools think of this crap?
Thats normal.
Ds left school 15 years ago and had a prom.

The teens I was work with years before that were having proms.
Its not a new thing.

On the edge of our town there are a couple of country houses that are popular every year for the school prom. Its lovely seeing everyone dressed up abd excited to go.
I do think its more expensive having girls and some really do ott with the expense of dress,having make up, hair and nails professionaly done.

It was easy for the lads just getting a suit which they then wore for interviews and in our case a funeral and a wedding!

She deserves it! Hope she has fun.

Most schools have proms at the end of GCSE,s
It signify, s the end of school
Yes I know kids are supposed to v
be in education up to 18 but that very often isn't in a school loads of schools dont have 6th forms.

Because those that CANT afford it may feel under terrible pressure to "keep up". Many, (not all) teens would hate to feel that they might be singled out or made fun of, many parents may want to help their child fit in and so spend money they don't have on this. You absolutely could still have a leavers event but done in a way that does not require this sort of exhibitionist expense. If an individual group of mates wants to organise a separate night out in a fancy restaurant that's fine, but a school run event should not encourage this.

I wonder whether the parents who think of school prom as a once in a lifetime experience are the parents who never went to sixth form or university, don't socialise or work in circles where formal dressing is expected. So to them, their school prom was the only time they did this.

The only one of DDs peers I know of who spent a lot of money they couldn't afford on a prom dress, is a low income family whose mum has learning difficulties. She went to special school, so I assume didn't have a prom. Maybe that's why she spent money she didn't have on her DDs prom dress.

Yes , I have paid a deposit of £100 for my daughter’s prom dress it’s £350 . I am putting the money away I have until March next year to pay for it. I said I wouldn’t spend a fortune on a dress but she has had a terrible time at High school the past 2 years with bullying which lead to extreme anxiety where she ended up in hospital with ulcers in her stomach. She has thrived the past year and is working doubly hard to get the grades she needs and she is smashing it . She doesn’t ask for anything, ever , she is not into make up ,partying or trendy clothes so when she asked to go to prom and have “the whole experience “ it was a no brainer. I just want her to have good memories of her final year at school. I am not sure I would’ve if she was constantly getting things . I guess it’s a balance . Her brother may not get the same experience when the time comes because he is constantly draining my bank account 😂.

I've never understood why we as a society embrace this anyway. Plus all the American language, high school, semester, lock down, homicide, Jesus. I won't continue! It's a huge amount of money for a child's dress. No, don't feel any pressure to lose your marbles either.

I wouldn’t take out a loan or such like, but the first prom dress was worth a lot more (yet still affordable) than the second, which was mail ordered and had to be adjusted.

DD has kept the first one, but second she won’t wear again. There was definitely a quality difference between the two.

However it’s all a bit of fun for those who want to participate. I can think of worse ways money is spent and I felt terribly sorry for the Lass whose parent and step parent outright refused for her to have a special dress. As others have said, there are great finds in all price ranges…

My daughter made her own - not a skill she got from me, MIL taught her to sew - £32 on material, shoes and bag from Vinted.

This whole thing sounds really quite sad to me and a real.money making racket. Shepherd leading the sheep.

Cinderella Fantasy. US style.

Even more so, when most children wear uniforms for school to equalise pupils.

Yes l.know, a lot of sixth form colleges don't follow this rule.

One poster said her daughter also had a prom at the end of her GCSE's. What!!

What do the Schools think of this crap?

What is in it for them?

What do the Wokes thing about this Prom thing.

How about having an Anti Prom event for people for pupils and students who can think.for themselves?

We bought youngest ones dress from JJs House online. It was somewhere around £120 and was made to measure.
We were lucky in that she is somehow tall and slim (it doesn't come from me), so really anything would work.

@CoffeeCantata My daughter’s interests couldn’t be further away from the hype of endless makeup and looking pretty. And this was an evening that she could chose her own gown etc and we could facilitate that. No regrets.

Of course. I’m not suggesting otherwise, but this is a discussion and we’re all freely and frankly exchanging views!

To me it’s not just about money - it’s about buying into a hype - and starting the whole ‘girls have a duty to look decorative’ idea; and as a pp said you ‘need ‘ to get nails, hair, makeup etc etc all done to a high standard to be socially acceptable. That’s what I find pernicious.

I love clothes and I like to look good but I absolutely don’t think that’s the same as spending loadsamoney and having professional makeup etc done. I don’t like the obvious made-up look or fancy manicures and I don’t think this look is the only one which young women should be pushed into.

@CoffeeCantata why? I just answered the question asked? I didn’t need to take out a loan or payment plan and it’s my money. As I have said before, unless we have now slipped into a communist state it’s my choice what I do with it.

Yes I have it looked stunning on my daughter. As long as the kids are happy with how the dress looks and makes them feel and you can afford it. It shouldn't matter what you spend whether that's nothing or £500.

My kids were before Vinted. With my first we left it too late for sales and found nothing on eBay so had a dress made £80 and she hated it 🤦‍♀️ second dd spent £130 on a sale/ex display dress she loved. Now id be straight on Vinted.

You are completely bonkers. Other than that, I’m speechless.

I paid £285 a couple of years ago but it’s definitely a dress that can be used again in fact even I would wear it to an event

I did - then Covid hit and it was never worn and younger daughter didn’t like it so we ended up donating it. There are so many great rental sites now (By Rotation etc) I would do that now

Not a mug, that’s the going rate for prom dresses these days. I paid £300 plus £30 for alterations last year and £350 plus £50 alterations this year. All my two daughters’ friends paid the same, you can buy an off the peg dress from the high street but for a lot of kids prom is such a huge event they want to feel special. I’m not flush but I don’t regret a penny seeing how my girls looked and how happy they were.

Once in a lifetime event? Get grip people. It’s a party. There will be loads of parties

@MadameTwoSwords actually she already has use of it planned for another function. And yes, you are right that unless we have slipped into a communist state it is absolutely my money.