Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

I don’t have lots of money, but perhaps some MNetters do because they are so careful?

My weakness is holidays and days out rather than stuff though.

I’m very lucky that my dd is very into vintage stuff so she found a lovely vintage dress for a reasonable price on line - I think it was on depop, which she’s a fan of.

I did buy her an expensive pair of shoes (about £100) though.

To be fair she’s also worn both again because one of her hobbies had a black tie type party (not very strictly black tie I don’t think but the dress fitted the bill well)

Mumsnetters are funny. They all go on about having loads of money but refuse to spend any of it on the first key social occasion their children will attend. They also all have very cheap weddings and walk down the aisle in charity shop dresses, and buy their children toothbrushes and sensible winter coats for Xmas. I sometimes wonder why they bother having all this money, if they won't even spend it on nice stuff for important events. Do they just find joy in looking at the money in their bank accounts? It's oddly puritanical.

DD’s prom dress was around £300, but everything else was on a budget. Shoes were £5, she had her bag for Christmas along with some earrings. She did her own makeup, her friend did her hair (was doing hairdressing, did it as part of an assessment) and one of my friends drove her in her camper van.
Ds suit, shirt, tie, cuff links and shoes probably cost similar but have been worn more often since. He went with a friend whose relative had a classic car, so another freebie.

It's one of those things you can make as pricey or as inexpensive as you like really. Personally I think it's a bit ridiculous to spend large sums of money on prom but then I am sure some people think that I spend my money on daft things. Everyone values different things.
You definitely don't have to spend huge amounts for your DC to have a good time. None of mine, or their friends, seemed to take it particularly seriously especially not in Year 11 as they were all going back for 6th form anyway.Looking at the pictures there were a few who had obviously gone to a great deal of trouble but most of them were smart but wearing the kind of things you get in high street shops rather than from specialist suppliers. I agree with the PP who said that it probably matters more to pupils who aren't going back to the same school though.
Prom also not an official school event at my DC's former school. The staff tend to turn a blind eye to any planning that they see going on in school time but they don’t encourage it and they certainly don't get involved and nor do quite a lot of the kids. So it's probably not such a big deal as it is in schools where it is an official leavers' event and virtually everyone goes. In those circumstances I think that perhaps schools do have some responsibility not to exaggerate the importance on Prom and to discourage excessive spending. On one hand I agree that it is up to individual families how they spend their disposable income, but on the other I think it's wrong if parents feel under pressure to spend money that they don't have. If it is a school sanctioned event and there's an expectation that the vast majority of pupils will attend then particularly in the current economic climate I think schools should perhaps play it down a bit and try to keep things affordable for all.

For yr11 prom the girls wore 1960s “cocktail” dresses which had belonged to their grandmother. On DM they were early 60s knee length, for taller DGC they were 60s mini dresses in glamorous fabrics/embellishments and were perfect. The fabrics were better quality than anything in the shops. They and their friends did their own hair, make up etc and had a lot of fun together. The boys were more expensive - hire of black tie - I wasn’t buying the suits until the end of growing was in sight.

For yr13 dresses came from Asos or similar - £50-60 from memory.

Both yr11 and yr13 dresses were worn many times.

I remember some girls’ parents spending a fortune, oddly it seemed to be those who had little spare cash. I don’t know if they took out loans.

A bit over 100. She did re wear it for a couple of weddings, so it got re-use.

DD's was £500 not including shoes, bag, nails, tan, makeup, hair, prom ticket etc! Sold it after for £100 🙄 couldn't find a nice second hand one at the time.

I spent about £80 on my prom dress (sixth form leavers’ party - we didn’t call it prom) in 1996.

Google tells me that’s about £240 now. Difference was it was my own money that I earned working part time - no way would my mum have either wanted to or be able to spend that. I wore it again at university balls.

I doubt either of my DDs will want a dress, but I will buy them a decent trouser suit if they want (or a dress), but my budget would be up to £150 I think (my own wedding dress was around that in 2007!).

I don’t think people should go into debt for it, but if it is their money they can spend it how they like.

DDs was £35.99 in the sale, no alteration cost as it fitted perfectly but I can sew so it wouldn't have cost anyway. Hair and make up was £65, shoes were about £12 in the sale, bag £10, I did her tan and nails £5, underwear was about £5, jewellery was £8.50. Total cost was £140.51 precisely.

It's not huge for everyone though, hence the thread. And it also appears that it's often people who don't have a lot who spend a lot, which is a bit mad.

Its just the Mumsnet chicken thing all over again. Everyone falling over themselves to profess how amazing they are because their daughter dressed in a Lidl own brand bin bag and barely dragged a brush through their hair.

DD's outfit was expensive (about £300 including tailoring), but absolutely gorgeous.

Her dad's family are from India, so we went to a saree shop and got an amazing lehenga outfit with heavy embroidery. It was tailored to fit, but there is leeway to have it re-tailored if she changes size, so she can wear it in the future for posh occasions (I expect it will be her uni ballgown).

I don't mind shelling out for nice sarees and similar outfits for her, which are very adjustable and which will never go out of style (imo). I wish traditional British occasionwear was equally flexible. I would have been much less willing to pay that amount for a ballgown which (at 16) may well not fit her for that many years.

No, I understood the point you were making I just don't agree.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying a party or getting dressed up. I've got two first class degrees, volunteer regularly and love reading about all sorts of things - politics,. philosophy, science. I also love a party and a bit of glamour. It's not and either /or thing. And enjoying having your nails and hair done isn't some kind of moral failing.

These and mother of the bride outfits. All say “500 new only worn once for a few hours” and they sit unsold for months

This. The lilies really don't need guilding.

Yes, I did and don't regret a thing. Honestly MN is like an alternate universe. So many people spend that on dresses, obviously, or there wouldn't be a market for it, but nobody ever wants to admit it. So odd. Spend your money how you want to!

Yes we will
I have 3 daughters and such fabulous memories of prom dress shopping with the older two
For us it was the memory and the trips out and mum daughter time
Set your budget and enjoy every minute !
With our eldest we didn’t have much so hiring was the way forward
2nd we had a bit more
This time we will go all out because we can but would have just as much fun with a smaller budget
It’s not about “In my day we just signed tee shirts and decades ago”, it’s about them now amd times have changed
This is huge for our girls x

Well that to me is absolutely bonkers. Do people really buy £500 prom dresses when they can't afford basic stuff?! That's actually really sad, the pressure they must feel they are under. Perhaps I am being naive but I cannot imagine anyone I know spending that kind of money when we are all scratching around just trying to pay for the £25 theatre trips...

I didn’t want second hand, I wanted new. Charity shopping was not fashionable then like it is now.

Quite

We all went back for A levels at the same school (similar age to you) but we still all really enjoyed the leavers ball.

Some people hired limos, some came in a family members sports car, others just got a lift.

We had the best time partying together and it felt like all the cliques and stresses were washed away.

Two of the people I partied with that night were dead by their early twenties; one knocked down by a drunk driver,.one due to cancer. Life's too short to not enjoy it the way you want to.

if you're child isn't into dresses and getting ready that's totally fine. If they aren't fussed by cars that's totally fine. Each to their own. But it doesn't make them more virtuous than the ones who want to make it into a big event.

We did JJ’s House too and I was really impressed with the whole process. We paid for the initial sample dresses to try on which was a massive help, and they tweaked hers in length and bust for free. Overall it cost about £120 and it looked far classier than some of the mega bucks super blingy dresses.

I suppose you have to have a few people buying the expensive dresses in the first place so that they can have a second life on Vinted or in charity shops.