Would you/have you spent hundreds on a prom dress?

Sounds like some DCs spend more time thinking about the prom than their GCSEs.
That was one of the times when I was glad I had boys (mostly I wasn't fussed one way or other). Just a suit - bought early for sixth form.

My daughter did have a lot spent on hers

I will say absolutely not by me.

I think the dress was just shy of £600, and then another £150 for alterations.

I was very very annoyed at the time , as we arnt a rich family, and that could have paid for driving lessons/ quite a nice percentage of her house deposit!

her grandma bought it .

it’s a beautiful dress, but hasn’t been used since , and she has tried to sell it repeatedly but no one is interested.

absolute waste

Well tbf it is for a lot of kids ,loads of schools only go up to year 11 and many kids dont go to university.

My priority when my kids came close to the end of year 11 was to install in them that they need to start looking for part time work to start after gcse.

I felt they would gain more by focusing on the notion of making money and saving than spending a stupid amount of money on a one off event.

I bet none of these kids would want to spend that amount of money of it was their hard earn funds saved over months!

My ‘controversial’ opinion is that OTT prom outfits, flash cars etc are as tacky as hell. And the results are no better than a more humble approach; the opposite is probably true. And in many cases it is about the parents rather then the young people involved.

I couldn't agree more. I also wonder if there's an inverse relationship between income and the amounts spent on frocks and limos.

DD's independent had an end of school party. Some of the DC had been at the school since they were four. It was in a marquee, parents were invited from 7 to 8.30 for drinks and a brief speech. The girls were allowed plus ones for the dancing that started at about 8.45/9 but few engaged with that. At DS's school, again there was a marquee on school grounds and a dinner, also including parents, dancing afterwards.

They dressed up but mostly it was competitive underspending. Someone wore a vintage slip, someone else wore docs, dd bought heels from the charity shop. They did their own hair and make-up and even though a couple of parents actually owned helicopters and one or two had drivers, the most extravagant mode of transport was uber.

These were girls whose parents, ten years ago, had £16k pa to spare on their education, alongside their sisters and/or brothers. Yhe end of their education heralded the start of far more exciting things to come.

It's a rich people mindset we should all emulate. People with money generally hang onto it and invest it, they do not spend it. It's how they accumulate wealth in the first place.

I made my daughter's prom dress from scratch. Cost me around £45 in fabric and materials, and around 3 months in time to fit it around my busy full-time job and other duties. I used my old wedding jewellery for gems. We found charity shop shoes and a charity shop clutch bag and she got driven in an old car my ex husband arranged. Make-up and hair were done at home, by her. She was well-behaved enough that prom was free for her as a school reward. So around £60 all in.

We spent £80 on the dress then £25 on shoes from Linzi. She had her own jewellery. No limos etc. Her friends were the same. This is at a London private school with some exceptionally wealthy parents. Going OTT was def not the thing.

this is mental. we got from from an ASOS sale for £15. I would never spend that sort of money on a prom dress for a teen.

I did put up a post once about her awful behaviour and got my arse handed to me-it was all my fault for being the bitch of a stepmother and she was the dainty and innocent angel who'd done nothing wrong

Even though I outlined her nasty behaviour (and left a lot out)-in rl I had people telling me to leave dp and leave them to it,she was that bad and he was that wet

She tried her best to break dp and I up and was almost successful

Ended with her finding some 'personal photos' on the computer and sending them to her mother,my family and my friends (im nc with my narc family but they where delighted with these pictures as they hate me and then passed them on to friends,who passed them onto friends etc,my friends alerted me to what shed done)

They ended up on the internet,but I'm the one in the wrong

Just recently,her granny (my mil) has been very ill and in hospital

It's a long story but mil has ended up in a care home for a few weeks (self funded) at a cost of 2k a week

On finding this figure out,instead of just being relived granny is in the best place and getting better,she was heard to snarl 'that's all well and good,but what about my inheritance?'

I cannot stand her

Couldn't agree more. The schools should do something about curtailing the excesses. My daughter didn't go to her second prom as she just didn't feel part of the culture of it.its a communal event, not a private party so should be a bit more inclusive.

No. They just don't fall for the SM hype that convinces you that this is an extremely important event that needs to be made into a huge expensive thing.

Spending £1000 on a party doesn't mean you love your child more than the person who spent £50.

I feel like an Old Testament prophet crying in the wilderness! I hate the import of this American custom. Luckily for my children it came too late, but as a teacher I saw the fuss, the wild expense and the upset it caused. At the comp where I worked we even had kids arriving by helicopter on the playing fields just to be one-up on those in the stretch limos. The head allowed this, the idiot.

To me it’s just one more way to brutally underline the difference between the haves and have-nots and commercially it exploits the insecurities of teenagers and their families’ wish to indulge them.

I’m truly shocked at the sums mentioned on here. I think it’s giving an unhealthy message to young women in particular about where their personal value lies. Sure - many teenagers like to dress up to the nines, but do that outside school and in clothes from ordinary high-street shops - not the sort of gear and budgets Hollywood stars have. It’s the ‘school-sanctioned’ bling etc that I think is dodgy.

Call me a puritan - I don’t care. But I do care about the message these overblown events are putting across.

I spent £26 on vinted for my daughter. She was happy, I was happy, she looked amazing.

Absolutely not! No need to spend a penny on hair or nails. My dd looked lovely in a £40 dress from H&M dressed up with some jewellery. Did her own hair. We bought her a new pair of shoes which she has worn since. Resist this nonsense!

I was about to say about out hospice shop that does this. I wonder of you are local to me @Cakeandusername?

Anyway, this is where DD is planning yo her dress in a few years time. DS was Y11 last year, and wore a navy 3 piece suit from Next, with a collarless white shirt and AF1s - most of his friend group wore trainers on reaction to not being allowed to at school (also DS has giant feet, which few people other than Nike accomodate).

Eight families chipped in for a limo each way for our promers- cost about £35/head, and they gathered at one house and had a little party that afternoon.

This is fascinating! Could read a whole post just about your situation with her…she sounds like Veruca Salt! 🍫

This is my understanding too. It's a real reverse snobbery thing around here (Cheshire). The expensive ones just remind me of that show about the travelling community getting married that was on in the late 1990s.

I have bags of formal dresses - long and cocktail which are timeless. Hope DD picks one of those when the time comes and we can call it vintage 🤣. Hair appt I have no issues with.

No.
My first had a sale dress that was perfect for her.
My next was a covid year 11.
My last didn't want to go so we had a family spa day instead.

I have a fs who had his prom last year. A suit from Next cost £120 but he now has a nice suit.
I think a lot of people are out of touch on here from what i saw when dropping him off/ talking to parents of girls.
Most had fake tans, nearly all had hair & make up done professionally and many had also had a practise run of hair and make ip. On top of that nails, jewellery and accessories, and then the actual dress. We had lots of posts on fb of 'I chose my dress' as in the way brides do, onviously from a prom dress shop.
OK you dont NEED to do ALL of that but many seemed to have done it!
i came away thankful Ive had 2 boys to sort out!

We have never spent more than £50-100 on aproms. We have spent less by buying second hand, borrowing and thinking creatively.

Tbh i's simply madness to spend hundreds of £ for a teenage event.
Especially when low income families are pressured into this nonsensens and yes, they are.
What has happened to our society?

Absolutely not. We git DD’s dress online from JJs. I needed to get it hemmed (£15) but in total it was under £100. It was beautiful but she’s only worn it once. If your DD doesn’t mind second hand my DD bought a gorgeous lace over silk over tulle backless dress off Vinted for £15 in perfect condition - fit her like a glove (she wore it to a ball at her uni).

I am so glad proms weren't a thing when I was at school.
I find them utterly OTT.
Bring back Leaving Discos and trestle tables of Panda Pops.
Not bloody ball gowns and champagne flutes.
YANBU.

Mine was $800, it was a wonderful experience shopping for it and it was a beautiful dress. Still is, I’ve kept it! I’m very grateful to my parents, it was very meaningful.

Hahaha. No.

Some people have more money than sense.