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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the saying 'you lose them how you got them' is 100% correct?

31 replies

TaylorNation1998 · 29/10/2025 19:42

I have repeatedly seen throughout my life that no matter how in love two people seem, whenever a man or woman leaves their spouse to be with someone else they always, always end up leaving that person in a similar way. Aibu or is this just so inevitable with these types that it is basically a fact that once a cheat, always a cheat?

OP posts:
FrostAtMidnight · 29/10/2025 19:47

I’m sure it’s true that a man who has cheated previously is more likely to cheat again. Not certain though.

JudgeBread · 29/10/2025 19:47

No, I think it's just something people who've been cheated on tell themselves to make themselves feel better. I know a couple of people who've left one person for another and they're still happily together with the "other person".

FuzzyWolf · 29/10/2025 19:46

It might be more likely but it’s not a certainly.

dahle · 29/10/2025 19:46

I am sure there are plenty of examples to the contrary but I don't think I could ever fully trust a man who cheated on his wife and abandoned his kids even if it was to be with me. My cousin did this and she is still with him but the marriage is very up and down, they almost got divorced last year after he got to close to someone else and then they had a vow renewal. Who knows!

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 29/10/2025 19:45

No. It’s mostly just something people say to make their friends and family feel better after this happens to them. Many couples do last.

RhaenysRocks · 29/10/2025 19:45

Nope. Simplistic rubbish like "what goes around comes around". No such thing as universal truisms. There are commonalities sure, but when people assert on here that a cheating husband WILL regret it, WILL come crawling back etc it's rubbish.