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AIBU?

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Original poster

Walk in the rain /

145 replies

ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 17:25

Just wondering whether I've been terribly U.

Was due to meet a friend for lunch today; he was driving, I took the train. I was very distracted because of something going on and accidentally got off at the wrong stop. I phoned friend, said I'd fucked up, apologised profusely and asked if he could come and pick me up.

We finished the call so he could check the map, but instead of ringing me back he sent me a location pin and told me to walk. It was about 1.2 miles, mainly along a main road, and absolutely pissing down with rain.

I was pretty pissed off by this, given it would probably have been less than five minutes in the car vs c.25 minutes' walk. But otoh I do realise it was totally my fault I wasn't in the right place.

WIBU to think he could have been a bit more caring/generous and come and picked me up, despite it being my cock-up?

I didn't say anything at first, but he sort of goaded me when I told him I hadn't actually walked because the weather was atrocious and my shoes weren't very comfortable (I got back on the train for one stop instead). He pulled all sorts of faces and made comments about me being young enough to walk just over a mile, at which point I snapped (but didn't fart) and said he could easily have come to get me.

I apologised (again) for being ratty and things were ok after a few minutes. As far as I know we left on good terms. Just wondering what an impartial observer would think as I must admit I was a little hurt, but also concede I could have over-reacted (partly on account of the thing that was preoccupying me). I think he might have realised he was a bit cavalier as he then bought me lunch.

NB He is a friend, not a boyfriend/partner/DH.

Sorry for the essay!

OP posts:
Delatron · 29/10/2025 18:46

I think be was being a bit clumsy/bloke like. He’d probably parked and paid. Then checked how far and saw it wasn’t (in his head) too far -
20 mins ish and discounted the rain.

I still think it was a bit unkind of him.

Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:44

CandelabraCat · 29/10/2025 18:39

I’m more intrigued by why on earth he’s standing outside waiting for you for 30 minutes on a rainy day, instead of waiting in the (assumed) nice warm and dry cafe.

Show quote history

I didn't ask, but I assume he initially waited in the car until just before I got there. Also the restaurant was very busy so he maybe felt he couldn't sit at a table without ordering while he waited for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:43

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 29/10/2025 18:39

I agree OP. What sort of person lets a friend walk over a mile in the rain when it would have taken them 5 minutes to pick them up in the car. I think you are right that he felt a little guilty afterwards and that’s why he bought your lunch.

I just looked back and his message literally just says, "It's walkable." which is a little off-hand imo. If he'd said, "Sorry, I've just paid for parking and can't move the car, do you mind walking?" it would have landed very differently.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:40

user2848502016 · 29/10/2025 18:12

I think he should have come to get you unless there was a good reason (like he had already paid to park the car and didn’t want to move it or was already at the restaurant with a drink)
It’s not about walking a mile, if you had been prepared with waterproofs and sensible shoes fine but unexpectedly, no!

He wasn't in the restaurant, but I think he had already parked.

OP posts:
CandelabraCat · 29/10/2025 18:39

ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:34

I don't think it could have been much more than five minutes. Also he hadn't arrived and sat down - he was standing outside when we met. And he was only over the road from the cafe.

However I had totally forgotten the parking issue, and that's probably quite significant.

Show quote history

I’m more intrigued by why on earth he’s standing outside waiting for you for 30 minutes on a rainy day, instead of waiting in the (assumed) nice warm and dry cafe.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 29/10/2025 18:39

I agree OP. What sort of person lets a friend walk over a mile in the rain when it would have taken them 5 minutes to pick them up in the car. I think you are right that he felt a little guilty afterwards and that’s why he bought your lunch.

Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:39

Thanks everyone. I think the parking was the crux of the matter and, stupidly, that didn't occur to me. All a bit unfortunate, but hopefully just a storm in a teacup really.

OP posts:
SunnySideDeepDown · 29/10/2025 18:39

YANBU. I think a true friend would have picked you up, I know I would.

5128gap · 29/10/2025 18:39

Your friend has either a nasty streak or a controlling one. Interesting reference to you being 'young enough'. Younger than him then. So fair game to tell what to do?

Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:38

BretonStripe · 29/10/2025 17:53

I think he sounds like a shit friend tbh. I drive everywhere (live in the countryside) and love my friends, so if they'd made a mistake and asked for a lift I wouldn't hesitate, regardless of weather. I enjoy spending the maximum amount of time with my mates, so would just choose the quickest option so we could start catching up. And I despise public transport.

YANBU. Hope whatever it is that's on your mind isn't too worrying, and you can forgive him for being a bit thoughtless (perhaps he's not good at changing plans on the spot?).

Thanks. Was nothing serious, just (another) shitty OLD experience.

All is, I hope, forgiven and forgotten.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:37

Aligirlbear · 29/10/2025 18:08

Had your friend already paid for parking ( i.e. put 2 - 3 hours) on the ticket and would have to pay again to enter the car park ?

Quite possibly. He had definitely parked, so probably. I didn't even think of that - in fact I wish he'd said that, but perhaps he thought I'd realise.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:35

RaininSummer · 29/10/2025 18:22

He may have already bought an expensive car park ticket with no returns allowed. Or maybe he isnt confident to drive to the location to pick you up. Getting back on train seemed the most sensible option.

Yeah, I did forget about parking, both the expense and the hassle of finding somewhere.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 18:34

Gotabadfeelingaboutthis · 29/10/2025 17:54

It's not "just 5 mins" and no imposition to your friend though is it?
They have to get up and leave the warm, dry place they've arrived at and sat down in, to go back outside in the rain, to walk back to wherever their car is, to potentially pay a parking ticket, to drive to get you, to go and park again (incurring a new ticket) and walk in the rain AGAIN to get back to the very place they started at. YABU OP

I don't think it could have been much more than five minutes. Also he hadn't arrived and sat down - he was standing outside when we met. And he was only over the road from the cafe.

However I had totally forgotten the parking issue, and that's probably quite significant.

OP posts:
Galatine · 29/10/2025 18:28

omz · 29/10/2025 17:28

Do you often make mistakes like this? Just wondering if it could be part of a pattern

Doesn't matter if she does the guy sounds like a shit, and no friend!

RaininSummer · 29/10/2025 18:22

He may have already bought an expensive car park ticket with no returns allowed. Or maybe he isnt confident to drive to the location to pick you up. Getting back on train seemed the most sensible option.

Ohnobackagain · 29/10/2025 18:21

LlamaNoDrama · 29/10/2025 17:38

I would have looked at getting the next train before ringing for a lift.

This @ThrushorSparrow because he might have paid to park and sometimes you can’t go out and in again, or be not right near where he parked or difficult to find spaces. I’d only ask for help as a last resort/I was going to end up soaked.

itsgettingweird · 29/10/2025 18:16

If you were my friend and text me I’d have laughed and offered to pick you up.

Life’s to short not to

user2848502016 · 29/10/2025 18:12

I think he should have come to get you unless there was a good reason (like he had already paid to park the car and didn’t want to move it or was already at the restaurant with a drink)
It’s not about walking a mile, if you had been prepared with waterproofs and sensible shoes fine but unexpectedly, no!

Aligirlbear · 29/10/2025 18:08

Had your friend already paid for parking ( i.e. put 2 - 3 hours) on the ticket and would have to pay again to enter the car park ?

Livpool · 29/10/2025 18:06

You made a mistake and he wasn’t caring - considering he is a friend. I wouldn’t be walking in the rain either - I’d end up having an asthma attack.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 29/10/2025 18:04

FastTurtle · 29/10/2025 18:02

Do you have Uber in your area, I think this was an Uber situation?

Show quote history

Yes, to be honest, this is the solution I would have gone for, if it was an option.

FastTurtle · 29/10/2025 18:02

ThrushorSparrow · 29/10/2025 17:25

Just wondering whether I've been terribly U.

Was due to meet a friend for lunch today; he was driving, I took the train. I was very distracted because of something going on and accidentally got off at the wrong stop. I phoned friend, said I'd fucked up, apologised profusely and asked if he could come and pick me up.

We finished the call so he could check the map, but instead of ringing me back he sent me a location pin and told me to walk. It was about 1.2 miles, mainly along a main road, and absolutely pissing down with rain.

I was pretty pissed off by this, given it would probably have been less than five minutes in the car vs c.25 minutes' walk. But otoh I do realise it was totally my fault I wasn't in the right place.

WIBU to think he could have been a bit more caring/generous and come and picked me up, despite it being my cock-up?

I didn't say anything at first, but he sort of goaded me when I told him I hadn't actually walked because the weather was atrocious and my shoes weren't very comfortable (I got back on the train for one stop instead). He pulled all sorts of faces and made comments about me being young enough to walk just over a mile, at which point I snapped (but didn't fart) and said he could easily have come to get me.

I apologised (again) for being ratty and things were ok after a few minutes. As far as I know we left on good terms. Just wondering what an impartial observer would think as I must admit I was a little hurt, but also concede I could have over-reacted (partly on account of the thing that was preoccupying me). I think he might have realised he was a bit cavalier as he then bought me lunch.

NB He is a friend, not a boyfriend/partner/DH.

Sorry for the essay!

Do you have Uber in your area, I think this was an Uber situation?

GingerPaste · 29/10/2025 18:02

If it was pissing down with rain, he should have picked you up (it was only a five minute drive). Nothing worse than getting somewhere drenched.

JeannieJo · 29/10/2025 18:01

It was a simple mistake - you were distracted - happens to us all. If you had phoned me l, would have come straight get to collect you - not because you didn’t have the right shoes, or because there wasn’t another train, or because it was peeing with rain, or because I’d have had to wait on you - I’d have come for you because it’s a nice, decent, human, thoughtful, friendly and sensible thing to do. That’s not a very good friend you’ve got there and I wouldn’t be going out of my way for them when they make a mistake. You sound like a lovely person x

5678XXX · 29/10/2025 18:00

What a mean man he sounds.

I would 100% have picked you up in his position - a 10 min round trip is nothing

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