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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that I can go to this baby class?

212 replies

Gerbera55 · 29/10/2025 16:48

Background info:
A friend and I are both teachers so have an understanding of how language development works and how important it is. I am a mum to a 12 week old.
My council have released information about a language development focus baby class they are going to run at a local children’s centre. They haven’t announced cost yet, but based on other classes I have seen, it will likely be free or very low cost.
I saw my friend today and she asked about any classes I have been doing with baby. I told her about the baby massage and sensory classes I have been doing. I mentioned the language development class to her and she told me she thinks I shouldn’t go because I know how to support my baby’s language development, so I should leave the spaces for mums from low income families who can’t afford classes or for those parents who need support with language development.
In one sense I can see where she’s coming from, but equally my maternity pay won’t stretch to the more expensive classes for much longer and also I want to do as much as possible to support my child’s language development, especially with them being August born.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 30/10/2025 21:42

Go for it. These things often lose funding if they don't get enough participants/interest. You are interested and it's offered, so go.

uahmed · 30/10/2025 21:32

I would recommend you go for the course you might learn something you don't know which your baby can benefit from.
Why should you miss out, why should these oppertunities only be for sahm and people on benefits. You are entitled to attend as any other new parent, grab that oppertunity as once you return to work you won't have a chance to attend these sessions.

laura246810 · 30/10/2025 21:08

Would mums want to go to a class just for deprived babies? I dont think many people view themselves that way.

Personally id support a sliding scale/ means tested fee. So everyone can go and the classes can be funded.

Bearsmumma · 30/10/2025 20:57

You can’t win OP!! I’m in a highly regarded profession. I did a few courses when on mat leave and there was definitely no ‘middle class divide’ in classes as mentioned earlier in this thread! I benefited just as much as people on lower incomes- It wasn’t a case of I now know all the topics being taught just because I no longer live on a council estate! They were hugely beneficial! You absolutely have the right to attend just as others do. The group of friends I’ve made from a class we attended are completely mixed in terms of wealth and education.

Also completely understand the worry of an August baby! Worried more about my August born since the day he arrived early!

Gerbera55 · 30/10/2025 20:49

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 30/10/2025 20:46

I wonder if this is for those who don't have English as their first language?

I’m sure it would be advertised as that if it was the case.

OP posts:
NotEnoughKnittingTime · 30/10/2025 20:46

I wonder if this is for those who don't have English as their first language?

Gerbera55 · 30/10/2025 20:16

Khayker · 30/10/2025 18:19

There might be a big long waiting list when classes start.

But equally, there might not be and as others have said, it will be a use it or lose it scenario!

OP posts:
Dinosaurhearmeroar · 30/10/2025 20:07

YourLuckyBrickOtter · 29/10/2025 16:54

I agree with your friend. Pay for classes and leave these free ones for the people they are meant to target. This is part of the reason we don't have SureStart any more. The "sharp elbowed" middle classes living in gentrified areas and taking away the resources from those most deprived. I do find it really selfish, I have to say.

We don’t have surestart because of the Tory government, not because of middle class mums.

SharonMack17 · 30/10/2025 19:47

Gerbera55 · 29/10/2025 17:07

It doesn’t but I have seen lots of August born children who have struggled at school due to being a whole year younger than their counterparts. Equally I’ve seen some August born children thrive - doesn’t mean I don’t worry that my child might fall into the former camp. Therefore I want to do everything I can to support my child.

As a speech and language therapist who supports the running of classes like this; please go if you want to and are able to. They really should be open to anyone who is wanting to explore communicating with their baby!

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 30/10/2025 18:50

HellsBellsAndCatsWhiskers · 30/10/2025 17:51

Do teachers learn about development of babies?

Pp said a linguistics professor might learn something from a council-run weekly class about child language development. Which they wouldn’t, given they will have studied child language acquisition in great depth. That’s what I was replying to.

If you’re going to comment, at least know what you’re commenting on.

NavyBee · 30/10/2025 18:33

BoredZelda · 29/10/2025 17:21

Isn’t it a bit early to be concerned about your baby’s language skills?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with attending any class if it’s open to anyone, I’m just wondering whether a class for developing language skills is necessary for a baby of that age.

No it’s not. I am sure the class will cover what you can do now (and from what you say actually baby will be 5 months old) to support language development and what you can do as he gets older. First words (which may not be clearly articulated) are only a few months away. There are ways of talking to babies and toddlers that are specially helpful for supporting and encouraging language development. And absolutely you should attend if you want to, not leave it for the ‘less fortunate’. None of us know everything about parenting!

Khayker · 30/10/2025 18:19

MaplePumpkin · 29/10/2025 16:57

I think you should go! It’s not like there’s some big long waiting list and you’re actively taking someone else’s place. I’m sure there’s room for both!

There might be a big long waiting list when classes start.

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 30/10/2025 17:58

Thenightwasmadwithstars · 29/10/2025 20:06

I feel very passionately about open access to these centres - just because you earn a middle class wage or more, or are educated, or come from a middle class background, it does not mean that these classes aren't useful for both parents and kids. When I had my twins the local children's centres were an absolute lifeline for me - I was living in a place where I knew no one, let alone other mums, off the back of a traumatic pregnancy, doing long days alone with two screaming premature babies, not a clue what I was doing, useless HV, and probably pretty severe PND.

The children's centres gave a lot of tips and knowledge that I wouldn't have known without them. They also did a great job at cutting through the dross that was bombarding me on social media and actually gave me some confidence in what I was doing. I built a community there - with a really varied mix of backgrounds and incomes. Sometimes I think the real issue is with accessibility - a paid for class just felt so far away from achievable for me and my boys in those early days, whereas a local, walkable open access baby group was just about feasible.

I am an oxbridge educated professional and generally pretty privileged. It doesn't mean I didn't desperately need the help and I really do think that these areas should be open to all no matter your background.

Well said. I found myself in a very similar situation with my firstborn.

DarkPassenger1 · 30/10/2025 17:55

The comment from someone that 'middle class mums' shouldn't go as it'll 'alienate working class mums' is one of the funniest things I've seen on Mumsnet! The notion that middle class mothers are automatically knowledgeable about the topic this class is aimed at, and already will know everything the facilitator might be teaching, and that working class mums will not know any of this, is deeply, DEEPLY classist and offensive. I'd love to know where this comes from, other than a chip on the shoulder of someone who considers themselves working class and resents 'middle class mums'? Or worse, a 'middle class mum' that feels comfortable viewing themselves as superior to working class mums? Neither is a good look!

Go OP, I would. There have been times in my life I've assumed something has very little to teach me, and I've been proven happily wrong. Plus it shows demand, so it'll be more likely to continue running. Anyone who needs more intensive support than this course offers, whose child is experiencing delays, or whose parenting raises concerns, will have more support than a voluntary class available.

These topics really do bring out some deeply weird perspectives.

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 30/10/2025 17:54

In my experience, things like that tend to be 'invite only' and you get referred by health professionals if your child is obviously struggling with speech and language.

HellsBellsAndCatsWhiskers · 30/10/2025 17:51

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 30/10/2025 10:49

If you were an expert in something, to the point where you’d studied the subject beyond degree level and now taught that subject at degree level, what exactly do you think you might learn at a course covering the fundamentals?

It’s like saying a maths professor might learn something at a class covering basic maths such as percentages, ratios and fractions, ie ridiculous.

Do teachers learn about development of babies?

HellsBellsAndCatsWhiskers · 30/10/2025 17:48

YourLuckyBrickOtter · 29/10/2025 17:55

No I'm just talking about the realities of being a parent in a worsening financial climate.

Yes, I'm in that situation also. I wouldn't begrudge a mother and baby a little once weekly group though.

MsAnnFrope · 30/10/2025 15:32

TheOccupier · 29/10/2025 20:24

LOL at "language development" for a 12-week-old baby! Or 6 months come to that - PFB nonsense. Talk to the baby in daily life and barring any learning difficulties they will eventually talk to you.

Not all parents do know how or feel comfortable talking to baby. Communication development starts prenatally. I’m not sure I’d LOL at being ignorant.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 30/10/2025 11:46

DiscoBob · 30/10/2025 11:20

Right then. Thank you.

You’re welcome!

SunnyCoco · 30/10/2025 11:46

Gerbera55 · 29/10/2025 17:59

I am also facing those realities. Teachers aren’t immune to the cost of living crisis. Am I saying I’m not better off than some? Not at all, but my financial situation isn’t all that good either.

I honestly feel like I can’t win. This isn’t all on this thread but in other areas - I’m judged for planning to go back to work full time (to educate others’ children, mind) and putting my child in nursery to do so. I’m told I’m letting my child down by not staying at home
with them to support them. Then I want to do a class to support them and I’m judged!

Yeah, welcome to parenting 😂
The judgment never ends, so just make your decisions with the best intentions.

Tiebiter · 30/10/2025 11:23

I found having ADHD and just constantly wittering away to my child helps. Only now they constantly witter away too.

DiscoBob · 30/10/2025 11:20

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 30/10/2025 10:49

If you were an expert in something, to the point where you’d studied the subject beyond degree level and now taught that subject at degree level, what exactly do you think you might learn at a course covering the fundamentals?

It’s like saying a maths professor might learn something at a class covering basic maths such as percentages, ratios and fractions, ie ridiculous.

Right then. Thank you.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 30/10/2025 10:49

DiscoBob · 30/10/2025 09:08

They might do?!

If you were an expert in something, to the point where you’d studied the subject beyond degree level and now taught that subject at degree level, what exactly do you think you might learn at a course covering the fundamentals?

It’s like saying a maths professor might learn something at a class covering basic maths such as percentages, ratios and fractions, ie ridiculous.

DiscoBob · 30/10/2025 09:08

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 29/10/2025 19:30

A professor of linguistics would not find out any new information - they teach child language development in depth!

They might do?!

NotEnoughKnittingTime · 30/10/2025 08:08

The parents it is aimed at won't go. Many of the free activities for children on low incomes don't get much interest from that group so I don't see why you can't go?

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