Inviting kids from the other class to birthday parties

32 replies

Prosiey · 29/10/2025 12:47

My DS is 5, he just started school this year and I’m already feeling a little fatigued with birthday parties. His school has 2 classes of 12 children per year, many of the children might know each other from the pre-school but my son didn’t go to the pre-school. Only PE, Swimming, and Forest School are taught to the two classes together.

This weekend we have another party invite, in a town 30 minutes away, for a child DS doesn’t even really remember, I’ve never spoken to her parents, and she’s not in the same class as DS.

Obviously we are going to go as I don’t want DS to feel like he’s missing out especially if it ends up spoken about at school, but between Halloween, Bonfire night and a child we don’t knows birthday party the whole weekend will be busy now.

I don’t really understand why parents invite children from the other class? Fair enough if you know that child from pre-school but for the most part if you don’t why invite them?

AIBU?

OP posts:

Bitzee · 29/10/2025 12:57

What’s so hard to understand??
You invite your DC’s whole class of 12. Then from the other class maybe your DC plays a lot with 2 of them (presumably the year group of 24 have playtimes together and some shared lessons), maybe they were at nursery with 3, 1 is your neighbour and voila you’re at the half the class so may as well invite the rest rather than leave out 6 because 24 is a pretty small number, less than your typical state school class.
If it doesn’t work for you and/or DC doesn’t really know the kid then just decline.

FuzzyWolf · 29/10/2025 12:55

If their child has some friends across both classes they would look like they were excluding the few in the other class that their child didn’t know. It’s only 24 for the party, so not many.

If you have an issue with it, just say no.

BendingSpoons · 29/10/2025 12:55

My kids were in classes of 30 and Reception was a series of whole class parties. Often if it is a hall you figure you might as well invite everyone. If you only invite 12 and some decline it might be a small party. Other venues often have minimum numbers. However more than that they are probably just being kind. You say you are taking your DC so he isn't disappointed at missing out when at school, but would prefer he wasn't invited, but then he would still potentially be missing out. You can absolutely decline some of the invitations that aren't convenient for you.

middleagedandinarage · 29/10/2025 12:54

I do hear what you're saying but that's only 24 in the year, likely the parent has thought they've just started school and we don't want to leave anyone out so invited the whole class. TBH I think that's the nicer way to do it at that age than having children feeling left out.
These things are an effort, totally appreciate that but I do think it's hugely important for your child that you go.

Doughtie · 29/10/2025 12:54

Maybe they thought "obviously" they'll invite the whole year just like you thought "obviously" I'll take him. Or they were just being generous with invitations - people often are when children are so little. Maybe they didn't want your own to "miss out" just like you don't want him to.

It was just an invitation. Decline it next time.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/10/2025 12:53

They are small classes - most are 28/30

we had a 3 class intake so 90 kids

at that age most people invite whole class so 24 for the whole year is less then a usual number in a class for an average school

youalright · 29/10/2025 12:49

If there is only 24 kids total its no different then inviting the whole class people tend to either invite a couple of kids or the whole class as to not leave anyone out

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