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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unsolicited rude video

165 replies

ThatJollyGreySquid · 29/10/2025 12:18

AIBU to feel annoyed at being sent a masturbation video by a man I’ve been dating for about 5 weeks? It happened last night after I got home from a date with him. To put it into context, we have slept together and were engaging in some sexual “flanter” over WhatsApp, but it was more playful, complimentary and sexy than downright dirty. He’s been lovely to me, and I was feeling quite positive over the way things were developing. I had told him previously I am not interested in the sharing of intimate photos. This has made me feel weird. Does any woman actually like receiving dick pics or wanking videos?

OP posts:
HelenaWaiting · 29/10/2025 12:41

Ew. Nah, mate. Tell him to fuck off, keep fucking off and then fuck off a bit more.

HappyAsASandboy · 29/10/2025 12:39

Opal888 · 29/10/2025 12:34

That's bloody disgusting and violates your consent . Whether you've slept with him never, once or ten times, you haven't consented to receive videos. In fact you've stated you do not want to share pictures.
Men are vile.

This. You said you didn’t want to share intimate images and he sent you a video anyway. That’d be the end of it for me.

Personally I wouldn’t respond at all. I’d just block him. After he completely disregarded a perfectly reasonable boundary (made worse because it was a sexual boundary and after only 5 dates), he doesn't deserve your time trying to educate him. And if you did try to educate him by explaining, he’d come back with a set of justifications/excuses/half-arsed apologies to try to swing this round on you. Exhausting, and unnecessary.

Just block him and move on. He’ll know it was the video if you don’t engage after the video.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 29/10/2025 12:38

FFS! What goes through a man's mind to make him think its perfectly okay to do this? Even more so when you have already said you are not into that kind of thing 🙄

I would have to seriously think if I wanted to continue this as he obviously doesn't respect your boundaries.

TheSlantedOwl · 29/10/2025 12:37

Ugh. End it.

Glittertwins · 29/10/2025 12:37

Get rid of him

InLoveWithAI · 29/10/2025 12:36

This is actually now illegal and you could go to the police. It's classed the same as flashing.

Whether it would go anywhere is another story.

But you aren't wrong to feel this way about it, it's a violation.

I'd walk away personally.

Blessedbethefruitloopss · 29/10/2025 12:36

Ergh.
Throw him back.

Opal888 · 29/10/2025 12:34

That's bloody disgusting and violates your consent . Whether you've slept with him never, once or ten times, you haven't consented to receive videos. In fact you've stated you do not want to share pictures.
Men are vile.

Thelankyone · 29/10/2025 12:32

That’s really out of line, I think you’ve no option but to end it. What a creep

Original poster
ThatJollyGreySquid · 29/10/2025 12:24

TheOccupier · 29/10/2025 12:19

Disgusting. What are you going to do?

I don’t know. I immediately deleted the video, and he followed up with a “was that okay”? which I also deleted as it had a thumbnail shot of the video. He’s messaged me this morning just saying, “Good Morning My Name” but I haven’t replied.

OP posts:
Iclyn · 29/10/2025 12:21

End it .

AutumnLover1989 · 29/10/2025 12:20

Tell him that's the biggest ick and you're needing to revaluate things. Eww 🤮

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 29/10/2025 12:20

Annoyed?

I'd be horrified, disgusted and downright furious.

TheOccupier · 29/10/2025 12:19

Disgusting. What are you going to do?