Unsolicited rude video

I would hate this too OP. There’s a consent issue here too in that he’s sent such an explicit video straight to you - I’d have deleted it too. It really would be a deal breaker to me, I couldn’t move past it (even just the image of him propping up his phone at home then having a wank 🤢) but I guess it’s up to you if you want to tell him how off putting you’ve found it, or just walk away.

Sounds like he got carried away with the sex talk. Talk to him and explain that what he did was not appropriate.

If you still feel uncomfortable, either about the video or even that you had to have a talk about it, then this relationship probably isn't going to go anywhere.

It's a little odd that he videos himself wanking and then thinks it's an appropriate video to send someone. How clear to him did you make it that you don't like dick pics?

I can’t work out what on earth goes through some men’s minds where they think unsolicited dick pics or wanking videos are welcome.

Is because they like receiving pics from women and assumed we feel the same. It doesn't make sense.

I assume you’ve never been on a mens forum.

This is about consent

Block! What the hell is wrong with some men? Why would they think that is ok? FFS!

Block…
but if you wanted to help him understand for future “dates”: Send him link to cybeflashing crime definition. Then add “I gave no consent to you sending me these images. That makes it a crime.”

Am I being thick... but a video of himself wanking?

Why? Im stunned.

you are just not compatible , don't blame yourself.
Some people enjoy exchanging explicit videos of themselves. I am not judging, it's not my thing but it's nothing against you if you find it very unappealing too!

do what feels better for you.

Dump him, obviously, but if you already had sex, what makes you feel more positive? Block him and delete him from your life, or message him "that was gross, what a sad little man you are" and then block.

nothing wrong with sleeping with a man if it was good while it lasted. Life's too short for not having great sex, even out of a serious relationship. Your feelings are based on your ideal image of him, not the real him. Start dating other men, best way to move on and forget.

thank goodness, otherwise most of us would be single and it's really not the case.

In a world of Bonnie Blue and other "celebrities", I would be pissed off to hear men saying "all women are ..."

Shame the very small minority is having such a big impact, that's the problem.

Gross and juvenile. Just block him. Don’t be tempted to explain how you feel about it. He already knows because you told him yet he’s done it anyway.

That's fucking grim OP. It's so horrid when you're developing feelings for a man and he turns out to be (literally) a tosser.

What? Are you a man? I don't understand why you would say that?

I don't think many women would appreciate a video of a man wanking unless you're already in the throws of exchanging explicit videos or photos and fully in the moment. Tbh I'm not convinced many women like them even if you are! I certainly wouldn't be, even if it was a partner I was fully attracted to.. just doesn't do anything for me to watch them do that 😂

Unnecessarily unpleasant. Imagine if you heard that said on a men’s forum about women.
Okay so this particular man has done something yucky, but no need to generalise such contempt.

Hmmm. I’m going to say you’re not that into him and this is your body’s way of telling you.

Just ‘ew’, really. YANBU to be grossed out.
Maybe send him something like “why did you send me that?” He will probably reply that he thought you’d like it. You can say “why did you think that? I have never asked you for videos like that. It is not okay to send videos like that unasked for”.

And see what he says. If he gets defensive, definitely ditch him. If he is mortified and apologises profusely - decide whether you want to forgive as a lesson learned and move on, or whether your view of him has now changed irreparably and best to go separate ways.

I really hope you’re right

I don’t think it’s most. I think it’s a minority.

I can’t work out what on earth goes through some men’s minds where they think unsolicited dick pics or wanking videos are welcome.

I find it increasingly depressing to discover that most men are like dogs that need training in how to behave.

Utterly vile. At least you now know what he’s like and you’ve managed to dodge a bullet.

That would be it for me. If men don't know by now that videos and pictures should only be sent when explicitly requested, they're being wilfully blind to reality and putting their needs and feelings before your comfort and consent. I wouldn't put up with it.