Unsolicited rude video

It's the men who " get off" on it.. thinking of you watching it while wanking or taking pics.
Delete / block/ bin him off.
You deserve better.
Have some self worth.
You're worth it.
🌺

I am going to go against the majority here and say it's really not a deal breaker.
Yes, it's not your thing- and that is okay. But I disagree that the OP explicitly stated she was against dick pics. She made a comment along the lines of "that's a relief it wasn't a dic-pic" on receipt of another photo. That could have been a joke in his mind.
Perhaps to his mind, he wanted to share that the thought of you turns him on, and he wanted to let you know. He asked "is this okay?". That not predatory behaviour, that's a human reaching out and asking if you enjoyed it. You didn't, so tell him.
Perhaps he is being vulnerable, demonstrating to you what he likes.
You may not have the same tastes but you have been intimate. You have seen his penis before! This is not as outrageous as most posters are making out I don't think.

Check out Burned Haystack dating method. Classic test & apologise.
definetely block urghhh

The more I read about men these days it makes me almost glad I'm old.

if that's not at least the beginning of a relationship, what is?

Having sex once, fine, but by the second time, by normal people standard it's exclusivity implied. Shame if people don't have enough self-estime not to have the most basic expectations.

I have no interest in dick pics but have standards.

I would find that grim but it wouldn’t necessarily be a dealbreaker if I thought it was just a case of him making a poor judgement call. My DP of many years engaged in those kinds of shenanigans with an ex but he knows that it’s not my thing and has never sent anything thank god.

I can’t remotely get my head round the thinking here that unless a woman says explicitly no then you’re free to send her any form of porn you fancy.

wtf.

@BauhausOfEliott I assumed the 'only slept with him three times' meant that he doesn't know her well enough yet to know for sure that she would want a video like that. From what the op described they're still in the getting to know each other stage, where you would hope people would be extra considerate, still trying to make a good impression, not pushing boundaries to see what they can get away with.

But she didn’t make it clear earlier on. She made a passing comment about him “not being like that”. She didn’t say, “just so you know I never want to share or receive intimate photos.

I suspect that means you will accept it and that’s fine, but beware of being in a relationship where someone ignores your boundaries, so early on, and ignores your needs. Ultimately being in a bad relationship is worse than being in no relationship and getting with someone where it’s really just as you will offer up sex, will make you feel like shit in the end.

It is gross and misjudged on his part as you have said that isn’t something you would like. However, you do seem to really like him. How would you feel about being really honest and saying to him it really shocked you and made you feel quite disappointed considering you had thought you had made yourself really clear. He may have just become carried away with the conversation you were having, and taken it too far. I think if you were getting on so week to this point it is salvageable if you want it to be, he just needs to know he crossed a line for you.

Urgh. This would put me right off.

Can I ask politely, are you male?

On what planet is shagging someone three times and dating 5 weeks any form of established relationship?
honestly I’d think you were a guy bemused as to why women didn’t want to receive dick pics and wanking videos.

The fact you had already told him this was not something you would like is enough to tell you he's not for you.

I think men's feet are pretty gross, it doesn't stop me being attracted to men but I wouldn't want them sending me a close up foot pic!

Sure - but I don't think it's quite the same, because I'm guessing you wouldn't be sucking a man's foot or wanting him to put it inside you either. I know I wouldn't!

But if I've enthusiastically put something inside various bodily orifices for fun on a number of occasions, I'm not going to be repulsed by a picture of it.

I don't think people are saying it's too personal, or too intimate

I was referring to the poster who said it was inappropriate because 'only sleeping with him three times' meant that the OP 'didn't know him well enough' to see a picture of his dick.

To me - and I fully accept that I'm perhaps the outlier here - getting up close and personal with someone's dick in real life probably means I know them well enough to see a picture of it, as it's a lot more intimate/close/personal to actually get naked with someone and shag them than it is to see a picture of sexual activity.

Yeah that's a massive no from me!

Hi @ThatJollyGreySquid
Sunk fallacy comes to mind here - slept with him 3 times. Nothing changes that but do you want to keep dating someone who you told that you didnt want to exchange intimate shots because you already slept with him?

My privates would snap shut like a clam but I am not you. You posted because it has set something off in your "spidey sense". Listen to that message. What is it telling you?

The person you were falling for was a mirage (unless you typically fall for seedy boundary crashers). It wasn't cool or sexy unless you said you were up for that. It was gross... You can do better. You deserve better. He showed you who he really is. Believe him

Just block. He doesn't deserve an explanation.

I would have a word with him and explain that's not really your thing.
If he does it again you know he is not really your thing.

@BauhausOfEliott I don't think people are saying it's too personal, or too intimate, I think it's common for women to be attracted to men but not find penises particularly attractive, visually - and that's setting aside the contextual issues about dick pics generally, and that the OP wasn't in a stage in the relationship where it might be reasonable for him to think he had consent.

I think men's feet are pretty gross, it doesn't stop me being attracted to men but I wouldn't want them sending me a close up foot pic!

I didn't say he shouldn't have asked. Of course he should have asked.

Neither did I say I'm in the majority. Like I said - each to their own. The OP is totally entitled to be disgusted and feel the way that she feels. I was pretty clear about that in my post, no?

My question is one of genuine interest because I'd love to know why - for plenty of women, it would seem - seeing a picture/video of someone's dick is more personal/intimate/shocking/inappropriate than actually having sex with its owner. Obviously a lot of people on the thread feel that way. But if I'd slept with someone a few times I wouldn't be horrified to see a picture of their dick, given that I've already had it inside me on at least three occasions. I'm really just interested to know why people feel the way they do - I'm not saying they're wrong. It's obviously a completely personal choice. I'm just interested in how different people are, really.

I’m saying that because when I was in the early days of several very lusty relationships this wouldn’t have grossed me out at all. I’d have been quite up for it. However I can think of other relationships I’ve been in when this would have been pretty jarring - hence it being a sign the OP isn’t really into him.