Unsolicited rude video

Please don’t insult dogs.

If you like him, and you've slept with him, then you either need to up front tell him no, you didn't like it, you're not into it at all. He can do with that information what he likes - but hopefully he apologises, says he severely misjudged the situation and hopes it can be forgotten about as he's embarrassed. If he doesn't, then I'd bin him off.

The other option is to just bin him off. Only you know if his other qualities can redeem him enough.

Ugh. Why do men still think
that this is ok?

She literally said to him "thats a relief, I was worried that you were sending a dick pic which would have been disappointing as you don’t seem like that type of guy"

There is NOTHING not clear about that.

WTF is a pick me? I didn’t say it was completely ok either, more that he made a mistake and it might be worth a chat and a proper, clear, setting out of boundaries.

If my DP sent me a dick pic this afternoon without me asking, it might technically be a crime, but I’m not going to call the police.

I have though reported men on dating apps for doing similar to me.

I am not saying it is acceptable, but also stating that I don’t think what the OP said, before they’d had sex, was very clear. And that he made a mistake as they were sexting. There have been some really extreme responses on this thread.

Maybe you need to read the full thread?

This is a crime.

Being a pick me doesn't change that.

FoxRedPuppy

Barking - apt username

What part of that sentence is making it unclear??

Is it the words ‘that’s a RELIEF’…or maybe ‘I was WORRIED’…or perhaps the (very clear!) ‘that would have been DISAPPOINTING’?

Because sure, those (precise, clear, negative positioning) words obviously indicate that the OP was really looking forward to receiving a wanking video! 👌🏻

@BMW6 here is the exact quote from OP

A couple of weeks before intimacy he sent me a message saying “photo incoming” and it was a photo of a castle-I said, “ thats a relief, I was worried that you were sending a dick pic which would have been disappointing as you don’t seem like that type of guy.” Maybe that wasn’t clear enough.

Yes and then in a LATER post she says exactly what she said to him. Which was “I didn’t think you were that kind of man” when reacting a photo that took too long to down load.

READ THE WHOLE THREAD NOT JUST THE OP!!!

This is copied from the OP's original post

I had told him previously I am not interested in the sharing of intimate photos.

Absolutely clear.

Gross.

Definitely not wrong to be annoyed about it when you had previously told him you're not interested in that. Complete breach of a boundary.

That would bean immediately delete and block from me.

You were clear but he chose to ignore what you said.
At the very least he sounds a bit dim.
I really question the intelligence of the type of men that think most women want to receive these from men they have barely met.
Inexplicable.

Ask him If he sent gross videos of his dick to his late wife.

She didn’t. She said “I didn’t think you were that sort of man” when a photo took a while to download. That isn’t very clear. And several people on this thread have stated that wasn’t the clearest indication that she never wanted such a photo/video.

Thats not what is bollox - what is, is implying one is a penis hater if one doesnt want a video of a a cock being wanked

Good for you but the OP does not share your preferences.

And he knew because she'd told him.

@Gloriia I disagree. Maybe he finds it arousing, doesn’t mean he’s sending them others. He has had sec with OP and they were engaged in a sexual conversation at the time.

Ive shared intimate photos and videos before (and very much enjoyed it). If my partner wasn’t into it, I wouldn’t do it. Doesn’t mean I’d start doing it with random men. What a weird assumption.

Not bollocks. I’m also a woman (mid-40s) and enjoy sexting and such like.

Are you for real?

Women finding receiving one of these a turn-off does NOT in any way mean they hate sex or penises!

I'm well past it now but I LOVED sex and penises did the business for me - especially if attached ho a man with a wonderful SOH. Dildos and vibrators - even the famous Rabbit - not nearly so much (my late DH bought me one for Valentines day one year - I preferred him)

But a lot of women are not aroused simply by the sight of an erect penis or a bloke wanking - in fact I and many others are turned off by it!
I am aroused by more subtle things to start off - kissing being MY #1. If a man is a lousy kisser nothing is going to happen.

So do you understand that you cannot, must not, judge others by your personal preferences?

Or are you just a twat?

Utter bollox, scuse pun

'He sent me a message apologising if the video had upset me. I replied saying that it hadn’t upset me, but that it was unwelcome. He replied saying that he’d got it wrong'

Thing is it isn't so much he got it wrong it's more he has shown you who he is, so even if he doesn't do it again that doesn't mean he isnt wanting to.

If he says oo sorry I won't do it again I wouldn't be able to trust he wasn't sending wanking clips to other women. It takes a certain kind of performative creep to get off on stuff like this.