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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not let DS go out with friends unless he specifies where

157 replies

NimbleMintOrca · 29/10/2025 12:14

Whenever DS16 asks whether he can go out with his friends I ask who is he going out with and where exactly he's going. DS often tells me who he's going with but for some reason refuses to say where exactly he's going. At most he'll give a vague answer, e.g. London. AIBU to not let DS go out unless he says where he's gone? Should I be asking DS what his plans are whilst he's with his friends?

OP posts:
CryMyEyesViolet · 29/10/2025 12:18

At 16 the name of the city would be all I had to give you as I left the house - we’d get the train and then what to do and where to go when we got there. I think you’re being over controlling.

PixieandMe · 29/10/2025 12:18

I don't see this as being any different to any family member going out. It's normal to say 'we're going into London and I'll be back around 4pm.'

It's definitely not unreasonable to want to know where your 16 year is going and where. My children would always text me if plans changed i.e. where they were going and the later time they'd be home. My nearly 19 year old still does.

WasThatACorner · 29/10/2025 12:18

YABU, he's 16. He shouldn't be asking if he can go out, he should be politely letting you know that he's going out, when he will be back. Maybe loosen up a bit and he will be more forthcoming with details?

Unless there is a dripfeed coming about him coming home drunk / high as a kite I think you need to let him teenage with a bit of autonomy.

IamSmarticus · 29/10/2025 12:16

Why? Even if he does say where he is going, he could just be fibbing.

TMMC1 · 29/10/2025 12:16

You will have to allow it at some point.
Agree with him that he has location on his phone so you can track him and hide an AirTag somewhere about him. If it turns it off then he can’t go out again.

Eightdayz · 29/10/2025 12:15

If you keep pushing this hes just going to lie about where he's going.

CosySeason · 29/10/2025 12:15

At 16 he should have more freedom to decide who he sees and where they are going.