AIBU to not let DS go out with friends unless he specifies where

I think when mine were 16 it was more of a general chat about their plans, a normal interested chat you'd have with anyone, not demands to know who they're with and what they're doing. You have to release the strings a bit at some stage. This reads like he's 12/13.

Well my siblings and I always told my parents where we were going and roughly who with right up until we left home simply out of courtesy. There wasn’t any pressure to do it we just did. I always assumed that was just good manners if you all lived under one roof.

Yes at 16, I think he should tell you.

If he’s not got anything to hide, he should give you his location, so you’ve got it on your phone in case you need to know for safety reasons or an emergency.

He probably doesn’t know. The kids are going to the the train with a vague destination. And they will see what happens.,someone says let’s go to the Boxpark, they go to the Boxpark.

I would just say look I know you’re old enough to look after yourself but if you could just reply to my texts and say where you are, it would stop me worrying. I’ll send you one at 2 and one st 6 (or whatever)

I would hope most interested and decent parents don't need to demand a detailed timetable and map to be sure their kids don't commit crime. Talk about hyperboles.

Not from me there isn’t. 16 year olds are old enough to take responsibility for their own actions, unless there are significant SEN or disabilities.

And yet when crimes are committed by children this age there is a huge online response blaming the parents for "not even caring where their children are or what they are doing"

Yes another thread descends into two posters going round in circles with a daft argument and OP hasn’t returned 🙄

At 16 surely he is old enough to go out without being tracked! If he isn't then what has been the problem with your parenting or has he an issue with behaviour?

We do all share location in this house tho. Even now because we have a dog and need to know if someone is going to be driving through the gates so we can make sure dog is in

Tbf, they can rebel FAR sooner than 18.

hardest time of my time with ds was 15-17.

freedom is essential to them, has to be appropriate tho so a lot of conversations about honestly and good behaviour. There are times you can let them have their long lead and others when you can’t and talking to them about it is very helpful in managing this phase

You can insist he tells you and I can understand why you want to know where he is going I would too. But he might just tell you anything you can't guarantee he is telling the truth.
Why do you think he doesn't want to tell you?

frequence and hyperboles you said? The irony!

ok.. I leave you to your own posts my dear. You are here to start a fight, you need to find someone else.

Except no-one has said that. Only you.

Whatever you do, don’t do this.

MN posters track their own husbands and love being tracked themselves - just to be sure they don't get lost between the supermarket and the house.
There are several thread explaining the benefits of tracking your husband at all time, including what time switching on the oven or something 😂

I find it frightening but each to their own.

I wouldn't know as I don't do that, it's something you hallucinated when doubling down on your increasingly hyperbolic comments.

Also a few kids from DD2's school have been mugged when out in shopping centres or in London. Sadly it's not that uncommon to have police involvement with teenagers for one reason or another which may be not their fault at all.

My mum had a heart attack at 53, I am 50 now. She was ok but it's a higher risk in my age group for menopausal women. My grandad went for a walk to the bookies and never came back as he was run over on a local street. My uncle went to watch a football match in his 40s and never came back as he died of a heart attack. Shit things do happen from time to time and it's a common courtesy to at least let people know your plans so they know when to worry.

Sure.

but the tone and frequency of your responses on this thread suggest that it’s triggered you. Hyperbole, insults to anyone who parents differently, capitals, emojis, bold font, unnecessary exclamation marks, repetition, the drama (belonging only to you), all indicators that this thread is rattling you for some reason. I’m happy if my apology was unnecessary and it hasn’t.

telling a 16 year old that he's not allowed to go out unless you know exactly what they are doing, and to call you if they ever make plans or change plans IS nothing but controlling. And shit parenting.
Why don't you trust your kids?

Telling your husband that you went to the supermarket, then the dry cleaner, then had a natter with next door neighbour, then heard about the latest gossip when queuing at the post office is boring.

I said the POLICE would track my mobile if something happened to me.

Why are you so obsessed with the idea that I don't talk to my DH? It's very bizarre.

DS1 is now in his 20s and there was no tracking software available when he was in his teens.

In my view it is totally inappropriate, controlling and is actually feeding and encouraging anxiety in parents.

I was talking about your husband being bored with hearing the full description of your random day with all the details, but you know that don't you? 😉

what? go to the police station and talk to them and give them all your plans just in case?

Because they would be the ones tracking your phone when you get kidnapped or something 😂

Why on earth do you think I would be upset?

you do realise it's possible to have an opinion and laugh without being "upset" or "offended"?

Are you personally upset every time someone disagrees with you, or are you trying to wind people up by saying it? Genuinely wondering, it's such a non-event on this thread, why the drama?