Is this really what primary school kids are like?

I felt the same recently when I went to a 4 yo birthday party, and parents were blasting pop music for the kids (about 1.5-5 yo) to dance on. The only "child" song I recognise was the main theme from Frozen.

My son (3.5) wasn't engaging at all, so the dad asked me what was his favourite song was so he could play it. I wasn't sure how to respond "wheels on the bus" or "baby shark" with Britney Spears shouting in the background...

I used to teach Y4 and it was definitely a thing (left teaching two years ago). Certain type of mum as PP have said, “I’m super cool and my Mini Me is my best friend” type who would actively encourage it. Very sad and not healthy - no one will convince me it is a good thing to encourage kids this young to be so obsessed with their image 😢

I don't have girls but my neice is 8. She does like makeup and nails stuff, but she also likes scooters and crafts. She will get some makeup bits but not high end brands, usually the cheap bits more designed for kids to mess about with. Also, she has had a pamper party at a salon, these are quite common but usually geared to kids with hair braiding and glitter type activitiy.
I do think kids are growing up quicker in some ways, they have access to more information than we ever did.
Its weird though as they seem to be in teen mode longer nowdays too. They are putting on makeup from age 8 but not moving out until age 25. It's a very different world!

My dd is about to turn 11 and she and her friends are into animals, basketball, Lego, crafts, etc. There are some girls in the class who are into fashion and beauty but they are a minority and certainly my DD’s friends find it all a bit embarrassing and a waste of time that could be spent bouncing on a trampoline.

I notice that the girls who are into fashion and beauty are also the ones who have had phones from a young age and spend an awful lot of time watching TikTok and YouTube influencers.

Exactly this tiktok and you tube are the cause of this

Yes those things are part of the landscape at that age. But dd's young and hip teacher has a fake Stanley Cup so she has one too. If she's drinking water you go with it.
A trip to Sephora excites her so much. But so does a muddy walk with a dog.
She loved dressing up for the school disco but she isn't bringing the sexualised ideas that you're carrying she just thinks she looks pretty. I was torn but went with it.
Just because it's different it's not necessarily bad

I’m glad I didn’t have girls I wouldn’t know where to start with all that! At 8 my boys had wacky warehouse (softplay) birthday parties. They did go through a phase of buying expensive fragrance at about 13 and yes it was from watching tik tok and I don’t have any perfume that expensive, but at least they smell nice!

It always says more about the kids than the parents.

The kids who are all branded on everything have brand obsessed parents desperate for their kids to be cool. Or the kids have older siblings and the parents don't like dealing with age related issues resulting from this. Or the kids have inappropriate levels of internet access.

If the kids want these things but parents aren't into all this, they will maybe get one or two items like this from pester power. Otherwise the parents will firmly say either to the kid or privately, that they are simply too young.

It's all about the ability to say no.

If a kid is being bullied for not having these items you deal with the bullying, you don't give them 'stuff'. Not at 8.

As a rule the bullying over stuff doesn't really start until year 6 when the kids really become fully aware of being cool or not cool. So at age 8 you really shouldn't be indulging the crap otherwise you are screwed for teenage years.

My DD and her classmates weren’t like that at 8, and things haven’t changed even now they’re 10 (in Year 6). Parties are still mainly soft play/ trampoline parks etc, plus one party at Lush making bath bombs.

I think it is probably peer group/ school culture dependent - my DD’s primary is a smartphone free school and the parents of her classmates all agree on no smartphones, and no social media access. No doubt this will change at secondary, but it means that DD’s classmates don’t seem to be aware of these kind of beauty routines and must have items, which seem to be promoted on TikTok and Instagram . The last ‘in thing’ in her class was a particular type of pen (Legami pens)!

Yep and still the same at age 12 here

The real "Must Have" item amongst girls that age is the 3D printed dragons

Definitely not at age 8 here, at that age it was all about Lego, crafts and books. DD has just turned 11, and does now love River Island, but lives in flares and t-shirts so I’m okay with that. Her only crop top is a sporty one from Next which extends to part-way down her rib cage and is worn for gymnastics, as she doesn’t need to worry about it going over her head when cartwheeling/tumbling etc. She doesn’t have any social media access, but when out shopping recently did ask to go in Sephora because “it’s cool and I want to be able to say I went in”. Fair enough, she’s 11, I remember how important it was to fit in at that age. She came out with a lip balm and a shower gel. The number of young girls in there, many clearly a few years younger than DD, was remarkable.

What was an eye opener was when there was a school disco at her school recently, and four girls in her class arrived in very short body con dresses with tiny straps, perfectly applied make-up, and hair which looked as though it could have been professionally styled. I know there have always been groups of girls who look and act much older than their actual age, but I hadn’t seen it so much in DD’s class until that school disco.

DD just turned 10 and neither she nor any of her friends are like this (not school friends or friends from clubs/activities outside of school).

No this is not what children are like
My child is 12 and was and isn't like this.
Likes none of those things

I feel sorry for that kid quite frankly.

There were always girls like that in my dds’ classes. It was tragic mums who wanted to be the ‘not a regular mom I’m a cool mom’ and give their daughters the grown up ‘in thing’ before anyone else. The girls themselves probably would’ve been just as happy with a pizza night sleepover and some playing at make up and nails.

As they got older, the issue with the show off all-about-me mum manifests in ways that all those expensive presents can never compensate for.

Not here. DD is turning 8 soon. Parties for already turned 8 in her year have been village halls, trips to wildlife parks and sleepovers. DD likes a scented lipbalm but has no concept of any skincare shit and will be staying that way as long as possible.

There's one girl in the class who started doing skincare and making videos about it at 6. The others aren't interested and the parents are a mixture of baffled and horrified.

Not the ones I know, I think the kids and parents would be completely baffled if I brought skincare or makeup as a present for one of their daughters at that age.

I teach Year 6 and none of the girls are remotely interested in this stuff. Netball / Football / Manga drawing / Dance of all kinds / a couple of pony-mads / writing long and convoluted sub-Potter stories are the main girl interests here.

Last year it was very Swiftie, and I had one girl who wore make up, but very unusual.

We are a school who continually bang on to the parents about avoiding social media, though, so perhaps not representative.

My daughter is year 7 and has just turned 11 and she wasn’t into make up etc when she was 8, apart from a bit of glitter eyeshadow etc. I think when she was 7 she would have got Lego, crafts etc from friends when she was 8. I have just looked back and she had a climbing party. There was probably 1-2 girls who was into that stuff but definitely the minority.

My son is 8 at the weekend and I also have a 10 year old daughter. A couple of my daughters friends are like this but mostly not and thankfully she isn't interested in any of it. For her birthday she got skateboard gear and knitting yarn 😂

None of the girls in my son's class are into any of that, they're very much still into glitter and pink things!

Perhaps area dependent, perhaps about the amount of free reign online.

I work with 8-10yos.
"Stanley" cups are common (i think most of them are copies though.
"Skincare" routines exist... but it seems to be moisturiser sort of thing rather than expensive products (meanwhile we are explaining to the boys why they have to bring soap with them camping!)
Make up, phones etc are not common at all. Mostly the "social media" is Roblux etc, not TikTok or Instagram with that age group.
The Yr6s might have a messaging app like WhatsApp

Haha no.

that’s from and about the parents

I would seriously judge any parent buying all that shite for a child - it’s more about the parents than the kid.

Ellie Penfold (ex wife of Jermaine Jenas) launched a children's personal care brand last year - firmly aimed at young girls.

Nope! Any 8th birthday we’ve been to or seen has involved Lazer quest or footy party or swimming etc for those who have some ££ and party at home or in the park playing games and eating picnic bits from a supermarket!
Thats both boys and girls.