Page 2 | ‘Excuse me’ - why the reaction??

Nakedmoleratapprecoationsociety · 2025-10-29T07:47:13+00:00

In the last few months I’ve really noticed an increase in people who take great offence to the phrase ‘excuse me.’ DS saying excuse me to a teacher, obstructing the pedestrian gates, who snapped ‘wait a second.’ He waited several moments before asking so it wasn’t as though he walked up and said it. I said excuse me to someone in Waitrose who was obstructing the cheese with their trolley whilst they took a call. Got an eye roll and a nasty look. A pregnant woman on the train said ‘excuse me’ to someone obstructing the aisle she could get to a seat. Got a tonne of abuse. Ive got so many more examples, both of friends/family and myself. I don’t get it. Would people rather people said ‘oi, fuck off out my way you ignorant tosser’? Am I missing something? Is ‘excuse me’ now rude or aggressive?!

OriginalUsername2 · 01/11/2025 12:26

Try “Sorry, do you mind if I squeeze past / grab that cheese?” Works for me.

Chess101 · 01/11/2025 12:12

‘Sorry excuse me’ is polite and does it.

excuse me with a slapped arse face is the problem

Redpeach · 01/11/2025 12:10

Please say please, excuse me sounds rude without it

TigTails · 01/11/2025 12:07

Friendlygingercat · 29/10/2025 17:23

One day in Watershones browsing books on shelf. A young man must have wanted to get past. Instead of saying something like "Excuse me please" or "May I pass" he announced sarcastically to his female companion "Im just waiting for this LADY to move out of the way." I told him in my best teacher voice that "this LADY will move when she hears something appropriate like please or excuse me." Followed by "Did your parents teach you no social skills?" The girl with hm, obviously embarassed said "Shes right you know! That was rude" I told the girl "I hope your not married yet. If he will speak to a complete stranger like that how is he going to treat you in a few years time? One to throw back dear."

Sometimes youve just got to cut tem down to size.

Except you didn’t really did you?

purpleygrey · 29/10/2025 19:09

Excuse me sounds rude. Excuse me please sounds polite.

TwinklyStork · 29/10/2025 18:46

Friendlygingercat · 29/10/2025 17:23

One day in Watershones browsing books on shelf. A young man must have wanted to get past. Instead of saying something like "Excuse me please" or "May I pass" he announced sarcastically to his female companion "Im just waiting for this LADY to move out of the way." I told him in my best teacher voice that "this LADY will move when she hears something appropriate like please or excuse me." Followed by "Did your parents teach you no social skills?" The girl with hm, obviously embarassed said "Shes right you know! That was rude" I told the girl "I hope your not married yet. If he will speak to a complete stranger like that how is he going to treat you in a few years time? One to throw back dear."

Sometimes youve just got to cut tem down to size.

Did everyone applaud too?

Bearbookagainandagain · 29/10/2025 18:12

You should try "BEEP BEEP" instead... Works a treat with my toddlers!

FamingolosForDays · 29/10/2025 17:58

Im currently sat on a train (having been stood for an hour and a half) and had to say "excuse me please" several times so I could go to the loo. Several hisses and glares.
Yes its busy, im sorry, but I'm being polite and I don't want to have to tell a whole train if I dont get to a loo pronto I'm going to have a problem (serious menstrual problems). Fed up..next time I'll just tell them to move out of my way and exactly the reason why they need to move. 🙄

whatcanthematterbe81 · 29/10/2025 17:58

I normally say excuse me please

PinkPonyClubDancer · 29/10/2025 17:57

Without the “please” at the end “excuse me” doesn’t really sound all that polite.

HoppityBun · 29/10/2025 17:54

Friendlygingercat · 29/10/2025 17:23

One day in Watershones browsing books on shelf. A young man must have wanted to get past. Instead of saying something like "Excuse me please" or "May I pass" he announced sarcastically to his female companion "Im just waiting for this LADY to move out of the way." I told him in my best teacher voice that "this LADY will move when she hears something appropriate like please or excuse me." Followed by "Did your parents teach you no social skills?" The girl with hm, obviously embarassed said "Shes right you know! That was rude" I told the girl "I hope your not married yet. If he will speak to a complete stranger like that how is he going to treat you in a few years time? One to throw back dear."

Sometimes youve just got to cut tem down to size.

You win 2025 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

CoffeeCantata · 29/10/2025 17:38

Friendlygingercat · 29/10/2025 17:23

One day in Watershones browsing books on shelf. A young man must have wanted to get past. Instead of saying something like "Excuse me please" or "May I pass" he announced sarcastically to his female companion "Im just waiting for this LADY to move out of the way." I told him in my best teacher voice that "this LADY will move when she hears something appropriate like please or excuse me." Followed by "Did your parents teach you no social skills?" The girl with hm, obviously embarassed said "Shes right you know! That was rude" I told the girl "I hope your not married yet. If he will speak to a complete stranger like that how is he going to treat you in a few years time? One to throw back dear."

Sometimes youve just got to cut tem down to size.

Good for you - what an arrogant little shit!

Morningsleepin · 29/10/2025 17:34

I would have thought that 'excuse me' has a built in 'please'. But I have to confess that sometimes I'm in another world and glare at someone who wants me to move. Totally wrong on my part

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 29/10/2025 17:27

It can come across as sarky or annoyed I suppose. Depends on tone.

Peaceshout · 29/10/2025 17:27

I don’t think it’s the phrase, it’s just society in general now sadly - infested with self-absorbed, entitled people, devoid of manners or consideration for others, and who think rules don’t apply to them.

Just this afternoon was with DD in the playground. Signs on every gate say “No Dogs” - two people (at least) in there with dogs. Small example but it’s pretty much everywhere - aggression, anger, and nastiness are the default setting.

Arlanymor · 29/10/2025 17:26

CurlewKate · 29/10/2025 08:11

”Excuse me” can, and often is, said in a rude/impatient tone. Now I think about it, I think I always say “Excuse me please” or “ I’m sorry- could you excuse me?”

Same.

PixieandMe · 29/10/2025 17:24

BadgernTheGarden · 29/10/2025 17:20

Child trying to get past teacher, child waits. Other examples really depends on the actual situation and as others have said tone of voice, it can be a polite request or a really rude demand.

Child had already waited several minutes and anyway - why should he wait? Teacher was blocking a pedestrian gate.

Friendlygingercat · 29/10/2025 17:23

One day in Watershones browsing books on shelf. A young man must have wanted to get past. Instead of saying something like "Excuse me please" or "May I pass" he announced sarcastically to his female companion "Im just waiting for this LADY to move out of the way." I told him in my best teacher voice that "this LADY will move when she hears something appropriate like please or excuse me." Followed by "Did your parents teach you no social skills?" The girl with hm, obviously embarassed said "Shes right you know! That was rude" I told the girl "I hope your not married yet. If he will speak to a complete stranger like that how is he going to treat you in a few years time? One to throw back dear."

Sometimes youve just got to cut tem down to size.

TwinklyStork · 29/10/2025 17:21

bowlybowl · 29/10/2025 11:19

People are stupid. Some now think "excuse me" is rude and should say "sorry" instead.

I definitely don’t say sorry. Asking politely to get past someone by saying “excuse me” doesn’t warrant an apology.
Of course half the time these days people are wearing earbuds or headphones and can’t hear an “excuse me” anyway, especially if you’re coming up behind them, they just carry on their merry way completely oblivious to the fact they’re in someone’s way.

BadgernTheGarden · 29/10/2025 17:20

Child trying to get past teacher, child waits. Other examples really depends on the actual situation and as others have said tone of voice, it can be a polite request or a really rude demand.

nomas · 29/10/2025 17:19

Yes, I've seen this, people like to feel affronted, especially when they're asked by someone they deem inferior (e.g. a woman, younger person, an overweight person, a different race etc).

The way to deal with it it to be assertive not obsequious. Say it with a headmistress voice.

PixieandMe · 29/10/2025 17:19

Urgh what a horrible, arrogant teacher. Doesn't surprise me sadly, though. They should have congratulated him on his good manners, not bitten his head off.

'Excuse me' is the correct and polite phrase to use so I don't think you should stop saying it or teaching him to use it.

Ablondiebutagoody · 29/10/2025 17:19

Have you tried sticking a please on the end? 50% of the time, it works every time.

ThisCantBeRightCanIt · 29/10/2025 17:16

I think the phrase has started to fall out of fashion and can sometimes be seen as a little snooty (even when it's not!). I tend to say 'oh sorry can I ...' and they usually move before i finish talking

I'm not sure I agree that people are ruder than they used to be. A person was rude to me in tesco 6 months ago and I'm still annoyed so it can't be too common

JohnTheRevelator · 29/10/2025 17:14

I have noticed a definite increase in people being nasty/over reacting to innocent remarks. A few weeks ago I was on a bus and a woman ran over my foot with her pushchair. My foot wasn't sticking way out in the aisle,maybe just a little bit further out than most people as I can't bend my left knee properly due to rheumatoid arthritis. All I said was 'Ow' and she flared up at me,saying 'What's your fucking problem?'. Whatever happened to a simple apology?