Moving twins into their own rooms - who gets the bigger room?

This.

It distances it from being personal. If they aren't happy after the flip, then say you'll swap, at some point.

Fair is really an odd concept. Your husband's arbitrary concept of fairness, isn't fair...in my opinion!

Just draw straws or flip a coin.
I think there is a bit of overthinking going on here!

Could your DH be projecting something that happened to him as a child around, " fairness" onto his children? Maybe he needs to consider why this is such a big deal to him.

Setting up the children to expect fairness isn't actually helpful, equality isn't the same as equity and life isn't always fair. Just assign each twin a room and get them involved in choosing decor.

We gave the child who needed more space- has lego trains and loves craft etc, the bigger room. Do they have the same interests and needs?

This the a good solution, but be prepared to swap round every few years if needed. And let them know when they are older and ask how you allocated, that you did it fairly on fllipping the coin.

I had a same age foster sister. We shared initially & then separated.
We swapped rooms often. A change was nice. My parents left us to it.

As a twin my bedroom was probably half the size of my sisters and it never came up as an issue ever.

I very strongly advocate for separate birthday cakes. However my mum used to always decorate them so it was very important to get a say in the colour and design. Most guest provided gifts to share and it was nice to have something just for me.

I also agree with @rv24. Then, if it ever comes up when they're older, I would just say that we asked you both and you both picked that room so I don't know why you are complaining to me.

Can they even tell one room is a big bigger though, sounds to me like their decision thus far has been based on the pink colour.

Try not to bring adult thinking into this.
Strip both rooms and paint them the same colour.

Buy matching beds and furniture.
Put a desk in each.

Then they get to choose duvets, cushions, lamps etc.

This is where they'll totally understand yep my space your space.

Sounds fun to me, if you see it like that too they'll get involved.

What nonsense! I’ve known at least four pairs of twins since childhood. The three sets of girl twins were delightful as were the girl/boy twins. However, the boy twins were both fucking nightmares, yet their older brother was fine

Three year olds don't get to decide . Do the rooms up and then tell each which is theirs .

My friend had twins in bunks. In the end she gave up and bought a double bed for them to sleep in as they would spend all their time swopping between the beds. She said they slept so much better as then there was no choice.

I'd be careful of your DH making it so obvious that he's terrified to be seen as unfair to one child. It won't be long before they pick up on that and could, very sensibly, use it to their advantage to get him to cave on many things.

The aeroplane thing sounds a bit OTT to me. Flights are usually both ways. We get one window seat between us (3+1 across the aisle) and one child has it flying out, and the other flying back. That is perfectly fair.

I can't believe the seperate cake thing either. I genuinely couldn't tell you if me and my brother had seperate birthday cakes on our birthdays, that's how such a non-issue it was. We did do our seperate things mainly for our birthdays as we got older!

I shared a room with my twin brother until we were 5 and then we got our own bedrooms. We got to choose our bedrooms, my brother wasn't bothered and I chose the big room and that was out bedrooms until we left home.

Honestly it was fine, my brother wasn't traumatised or resentful at having the smaller room (don't think he gave a shit to be honest) and we certainly didn't go through the hassle of swapping bedrooms! Your DH is massively overthinking this!

Flip a coin

These kids are on course to be the most demanding entitled madams ever. You are teaching them that taking turns and sharing is not important because it is their birth right to have exactly the same as the other at exactly the same time. Your DH sounds pathetic too.

Two cakes, but one rendition of Happy Birthday with both blowing out candles at the same time.

Literally just pick. This is the biggest non-issue. Get nice bedding for both and signs for their doors with names on. They will only care (or notice) if someone else keeps pointing out.

Sounds like the rooms arent vastly different in size. I actually don't think they will notice much at this age. If the rooms are done out with their personal tastes and all their stuff. Just flip a coin.
In the future if one complains you can swap them over. They might never ask to swap anyway.

I think it’s actually quite sweet. They do bicker but they’ve got a really nice bond. No matter what happens I know they’ll have each others backs.

You have just described my childhood. Me and my twin did the same. We would play in one room then go into the other to sleep and then say ‘it’s not my room’ 😂 ahh great memories for us not so much my parents

My twins often ended up sharing anyway. I’d go and check and they’d be snuggled together. When they were bigger they’d pull out the little trundle bed from underneath. They are ten now and share most nights in one room or the other. They use the rooms for different things so practice music in one room as have electric piano set up there but read in the other. I read the riot act when they abandon messy bedroom for the clean one. Then I get but it’s not my room 🙄.

As a twin myself and it may be different for yours but my parents did this and split us up. We flipped a coin as both chose the same room and were told we could swap in the future. By the third night we were both in the same room in the same bed 😂 so they tried for a few weeks and gave up and put us back together. My poor parents.

are your twins inseparable? Similar personalities? Like the same decorations? Like the same activities? Because if that’s the case like me and my twin then you may be putting them back in the same room quite soon. If they are different personalities, likes, colour schemes etc then this may well work